Delayed toddler, should I worry

[AsdaSmartPrice5]

DS is 22 months and is yet to talk. He babbles but doesn't actually say any words. I've recently taught him to wave goodbye and he will copy me and his sister if we clap, so he does do that. He's quite placid and plays independently and is very smiley, giggly and affectionate. But still, he doesn't talk. My DD started talking early so this is unknown to me. He puts objects in his mouth/licks often and doesn't point at things he wants either, which I've read is a red flag for Autism. But then, I've never taught him to point and if he wants a toy or his water on the side, he generally just goes and gets it himself so I don't know. I phoned his HV today as I'm quite concerned but she didn't seem too bothered and gave me some tips to get him talking but they won't investigate further until his 2 year check. I'm confident his hearing is ok as he responds to loud noises and will turn and look at me if I call his name (unless he is engrossed in Peppa Pig, then he ignores me!) Should I be worried? The HV said this is very common but of course you worry when it is your own and I am wondering about Autism etc. Any advice appreciated. I should probably add, both my nephew and my brother didn't speak until they were 3, not sure if this can be hereditary?

My eldest didn't really speak much until two and then single words until about 3. No issues, and at 14 hes articulate (or as much as you can expect from a teenager!). DS2 shocked me by speaking in sentences at 18 months.

If they had been the other way round I would have been very worried about DS1. As it was I didn't really know any different, and frankly it has been part of the spectrum of "normal" development.

I think to make an issue you would need more than one thing to be delayed.

My son is 23 months and at 18 months we called our HV as we were really concerned mostly because I spent a lot of time on Google and before I knew it I had diagnosed him with all sorts and was really concerned. He's changed a lot recently, he now points(as of a couple of weeks ago), he babbles more, he uses some ish words like ta and he's finally had his hearing tested which came back just fine. We're a lot less concerned now than what we were. We spoke to a speech therapist who asked a lot of questions and encouraged us to play games with him like rolling a ball back and forth and when he spoke to repeat everything he said at the same pitch and tone. There's been a lot of ga ga ba ba going on but it has helped. I also purchased a book on amazon called 'it takes two'. It talks through the development milestones and things to expect at at each stage (doesn't mention anything to do with ages) but explains how children learn and helped us adapt.

DS didn't speak much and I thought it was fine. The HV's used to send standard birthday cards and his said 'at age two your child should be able to do x,y,z,etc.' This included climbing stairs I think, and 'have a vocabulary of at least 50 words'.

I laughed and said all children vary - as he was barely speaking at the time. However, ait soon started to be clear he had some real challenges, and he was later diagnosed with ASD and ADHD.

I don't remember about pointing - but he never understood the word 'no' (he only learned through experience....) and he didn't respond to me calling him, or to his name, until he was much older. He just used to toddle off and do his own thing. He also wouldn't hold my hand and refused to be restrained when out and about!

All children are different, I asked the HV if she thought DS could be autistic at about 10 months because he had some issues then - and she said not, because he made good eye contact! I know so much more now. There are no definite signals, and no clear milestones for any children. I expect your DS is fine, but if you do have concerns, seek out help. We went to a council-run class for parents who wanted support with their child's development, and they recommended pre-school, and the pre-school brought in the necessary agencies. But equally, they would have been able to tell me if there was nothing to worry about. Good luck.

It is unusual, but keep an eye for now. A child in my family was like this at that age (and barely further developed at nearly 4). She has quite severe autism and I have to say it was obvious before she was a year old. There was something just not quite right.

Does he respond well to his name?

As a comparison, at just before 2 I was breastfeeding my daughter as the same time as eating a sandwich and she stopped to tell me that we were sharing my lunch, as I was eating it then it was going into her. She could talk in sentences and make those kind of connections.

All children are different, but there is a “normal” range. I expect he’ll be referred for speech therapy, which is important to get started sooner rather than later.

I have known a few children (all boys, coincidentally), who did have trouble talking. Turns out they all had slight hearing issues and once resolved, the talking came quickly. Good luck.

Op you're absolutely right to look at what's going on. It will never do any to harm to log what he can do, take videos maybe, get a record.

Hi OP,

My daughter is 19months and we have been seen by SALT since she was 17months old, if you push your GP for referral they'll do it for you.

All it has done for me is confirmed that there is a delay at the moment- which I needed, and we've been given a few things to do to try and help communication and encourage her to speak.

They won't actually do much until she's 2yrs old it seems, Autism has also been mentioned a few times by the developmental paediatrician.

We also got told to do some Makaton signing with her so we've been doing that for a couple of months and she's starting signing back now so that's been really helpful :)

I think I was also more aware of her delay because her older brother started talking sooner and had way more words than she does at this age, I know they are all different but it was and is still a worry for me, so I'd rather have her getting some help than nothing at all.

She does point, she understands everything we say to her and her hearing is fine. She only has very few words though.... :( oh how I long to her her talk to me :(

Fingers crossed it will all be ok in time, like so many others on here say. Better to get in the system and get some early intervention though, why not?

Gaargh, hate it when the "my child didn't speak til 8 but still went Oxford and is now a public speaker" type responses come out.

OP, yes, you should be concerned - not necessarily worried, but concerned- and should rattle every cage you can find until someone pays attention. Try not to worry as it could pan out you have an Oxford level genius who will one day wake you up spouting poetry. But if you don't do anything and it turns out your child does have problems (language and communication, ASD, delays) then you will have done nothing to get the support needed and will feel dreadful. Chase up the services, get on the 18 month Speech and Language waiting list...better to be reassured by a professional that all is okay,or to remove yourself from the list if things improve, than to do nothing.

I was fobbed off as paranoid first time mum over DS's development time and again. "It's within normal parameters." But once he hit 3 suddenly he was classed as severely delayed and all the concerns that had been ignored were then seen as evidence of problems from an early age. He has had a lot input in various areas including speech over the last few years and is massively improved - just been given a speaking part in a play. But because I kept querying things, we got assessments fast tracked as there was a documented history, not just a one off mention.

In the meantime, I would suggest looking into Makaton. Something Special (CBeebies show with Mr Tumble) is great for that.

Speech therapist here. I'd be happy with a watch and wait approach from what you ve said. Engaged communicative child. Just a bit late talking. Babble is a really positive sign. Work on comprehension rather than expression. Eg point to nose. Google ican or hanen for some ideas. If no words at all by two ( including pseudo words such as uh oh animal noises) then ask for a referral bit still don't be too worried

The most common cause of delayed speech is a hearing problem. Your toddler might hear loud noises but he might well not hear speech or he might hear speech but not well enough to form his own speech or his hearing may fluctuate from day to day eg glue ear. My son was slow to speak but he fooled everybody from the GP who checked his ears regularly, the creche staff to the speech therapist who told me he was delayed. It seems he was a fairly accomplished lip reader and very good at picking up non-verbal clues.

I was so shocked that he was diagnosed as delayed that I immediately arranged a private hearing test which he failed comprehensively. He had grommets within a week as we were lucky enough to have private health insurance. His speech was affected though because children pick up sounds in a particular order and age and he hadn't heard enough at the right age. This affected his spelling and reading.

It was an enormous effort to get him caught up and through school. If you had met him as a three year old though you would never have noticed a problem. In case you're wondering about the GP, the ENT specialist said that GPs are ok with picking a raging ear infection but much less good at picking up the more subtle signs of glue ear. Also my son didnt get very frequent ear infections - maybe 4 ever. Also it seems his hearing was absolutely fine as a newborn.

Sorry for the long post but I so wish somebody had told me this at the time. It would have saved so much struggle.

@Lancrelady80

Gaargh, hate it when the "my child didn't speak til 8 but still went Oxford and is now a public speaker" type responses come out.

OP, yes, you should be concerned - not necessarily worried, but concerned- and should rattle every cage you can find until someone pays attention. Try not to worry as it could pan out you have an Oxford level genius who will one day wake you up spouting poetry. But if you don't do anything and it turns out your child does have problems (language and communication, ASD, delays) then you will have done nothing to get the support needed and will feel dreadful. Chase up the services, get on the 18 month Speech and Language waiting list...better to be reassured by a professional that all is okay,or to remove yourself from the list if things improve, than to do nothing.

I was fobbed off as paranoid first time mum over DS's development time and again. "It's within normal parameters." But once he hit 3 suddenly he was classed as severely delayed and all the concerns that had been ignored were then seen as evidence of problems from an early age. He has had a lot input in various areas including speech over the last few years and is massively improved - just been given a speaking part in a play. But because I kept querying things, we got assessments fast tracked as there was a documented history, not just a one off mention.

In the meantime, I would suggest looking into Makaton. Something Special (CBeebies show with Mr Tumble) is great for that.

This is unfair.

Yes, some people who have worries about their children are told their children are within the normal range, and then their children struggle. But far, far, far, far, fare more people who worry and are told their children are in the normal range find ... their children are in the normal range.

It is healthy and sensible (and unavoidable, for most of us!) to worry. But pretending that most parental worries translate into real problems is just silly.

I used to post on these boards about my son.we weren't worried about him but he went to a preschool run by a very unhinged but convincing lady who sat on the early years Sen panel. She made it her mission to get him diagnosed with something. Anyway, I ended up with a long list of things that people said he could have or probably had, or concerns. I started to really doubt myself. He did used to lick quite a lot of stuff and a lot was made of that. A lot was made of him playing independently. He was 3. Anyway he's 7 now with no problems at all. All the paediatrician appointments, speech and language appointments, reports, clipboards, googling and worry was a waste of time. That woman is out of a job, the preschool lost its outstanding ofsted. There's a lot of pressure for things to be spotted early, but sometimes it can lead to this hyper vigilance which isn't good. Professionals aren't always professional and don't always know what they're talking about - if you have genuine concerns find a paediatrician as the level of training and experience they have will cut out all of the bs.

I think it sounds like your son is doing fine. I can't remember either of my boys saying a great deal before 2. I'd give it 6 months and if your child can't sort of say some things. (My eldest would say Duplo and train that I could understand but not clear to others) then seek some help but take your time with it.

All the best.