Unsure what to do

[Whereismymask]

I have been saving up for a breast reduction as I have neck and back problems and I can’t get a reduction on the NHS. My lovely husband has been working extra hours (i don’t have the option to do more hours, already full time but no overtime) so that I can get this. The cost of the operation is £6000.

Our house could be doing with a lot of work, expensive work, and now I’m feeling guilty that I will be spending this money on myself and feel it should be put towards the house. I have mentioned this to my husband but he says the only reason he is doing extra work is so I will go for this operation to benefit my health.

Our mortgage is finished next year so we will be £500 better off so my husband is saying we can use that to put towards renovating the house (husband is very handy and can do a lot of work himself) but we really need new external doors, a new bathroom, kitchen, carpets and flooring and we desperately need a new suite and I really don’t want to borrow money for this.

I just feel so selfish. What would you do?

Do it now, and spend recovery time looking for great ways to renovate the house.

Do not feel guilty

What a lovely supportive husband. Go for it - if its going to be better for you health wise in the long run then thats more important.

Get the operation. I'm sure that you having improved health will benefit the rest of the family. The house will wait. Life is short, the more of it you can live without pain the better.

Thanks everyone, I just feel so guilty. Our house does look quite shabby.

LittleLadyCece yes I’m lucky he is a very supportive husband, especially as he is a boob man 😂.

The operation will make a massive difference to me. I always hide behind big baggy tops as I’m so self conscious, I’m a 36HH.

I think you can hold off on the house for a year. I think that’s preferable to being in unnecessary pain for a year!

Your whole family will benefit for you being happier and healthier.

Please don't feel guilty OP, go for it! Despite what the NHS says, this is not cosmetic surgery, it is life-changing and very much needed (I speak from experience as a previous 34HH-er myself!).

It is lovely you have a supportive DH, mine was exactly the same and he is just happy I am happy. I'm sure yours will be the same. Once it is done, think of the money you'll save on bras and put that towards the home improvements haha!

Seriously though, it will make your life so much better and plenty of time to sort the house out later.

You are in discomfort. The house can wait. The fact you feel guilty about it is lovely but for the love of boob (l'm not a god person), put your health first. You wouldn't feel this way of it was for another health reason.

If you don't do it now you never will.

You really don't want to be old with a bad back.

Have the op

Have the surgery op you are more important than any new bathroom!!!

What advice would you give to a friend in the same situation?

Surely health and well being win EVERY time over material possessions. So pleased you have a supportive OH.

You deserve to have a pain free life!

Oh, god, no - don't feel guilty! This is for your health! Your house isn't in pain.

Please don’t feel guilty - your wellbeing is more important than the house, it can wait - doing this for yourself is a much more worthy investment ❤️

People over things, OP. Every time.

Go for it

My mum was like you and waited for when expenses (aka children) were out of the way

She regrets not having it done earlier and make fun at me because her breast 'looks like they belong to a 20 yo'

Thanks everyone. I just think my kids would benefit from the house being nice, they do often say their friends house is much nicer than ours lol.

I could have had it all done nice, but we just decided to hammer the mortgage.
I probably will go through with the operation x

@smalalalalalala

Go for it

My mum was like you and waited for when expenses (aka children) were out of the way

She regrets not having it done earlier and make fun at me because her breast 'looks like they belong to a 20 yo'

I’m almost 50 so mine might look the same 😂😂

Get boobs done. Health is so much more important than a slightly shabby house for a year.

Op have you found a surgeon? I'm a similar size and don't know where to start with finding a surgeon!

I’m almost 50 so mine might look the same

Maybe that's why DH wants you to have the surgery

@Derelictwreck

Op have you found a surgeon? I'm a similar size and don't know where to start with finding a surgeon!

There is a fb page “breast reduction U.K.” lots of great advice and recommendations on there. You can just ask people to give recommendations from your area x

Oh amazing thanks! I'm in London and there's too many to know where to start!

Absolutely no question that the surgery and the difference this will make to your life is top priority. There's no better way to use this money. Your well-being and happiness are priceless and what life is about, nothing else comes close. Good luck.

Oh OP what a lovely couple you sound! Definitely get the op and just think of it how much more you’ll be able to do on the house renovations when you’re pain free, if that makes you feel less guilty 🤗

Seriously though, my husband and I have spent much of this weird-ass year renovating our home and although it is lovely to have things nice a) it wouldn’t give me an iota of pleasure if it had been at the expense of my husband being in pain - just the thought makes me feel a bit sick actually - and b) much of the fun has been from sitting together with a cuppa and debating how we make the place the best home for us. My husband has more opinions on curtain fabrics than I expected... 🤣

So, from one busty bad back to another, I hope you get the op, recover quickly and have a lovely time over the next year debating the virtues of pelmets!

OP, your kids will benefit from their mum being happier and healthier, more than they would from home improvements.
Easier said than done but please don't feel guilty about doing good things for yourself

Your health is more important.