To think spending lockdown away from DPs is just too hard?

[AMidsummerNight]

Me and my DH live together but he recently had to go away for work and it gave me a bit of an insight into what it would be like if we were one of those couples who live apart and can't see each other in lockdown. It was only a week but I definitely missed him and felt quite lonely at times. A chat over zoom just didn't feel the same - its no substitution for a hug! Trying to watch I'm a celeb together over zoom the other night was so difficult we eventually gave up...we couldn't each watch the programme and also hear what each other was saying, and one was always ahead of the other. It made me really miss having him there on the sofa with me.

I can't imagine what its like for couples who have to do this longterm. I've started feeling very sorry for DS and his gf, who haven't been able to see each other indoors since the start of this lockdown. I don't think I could do a month living apart from DH and its just made me start thinking about how fair it is for the government to ask couples to do this. Or am I just being soft?

Either way, my thoughts go out to all those couples currently in that situation

I think its all relevant to what you're used to. My oh is military so im on my own 3/4months at a time. That doesnt normally bother me as much as it did this year when isolating he was stuck away for 5 months.
But that said, im used to that- if youre not i can see how it would suck. I used to cry a lot at the start of our relationship whenever he'd have to go away. Now i book that day off work, take him to the airport and allow myself a lazy/movie day.

I think it's tough, too, and I know it's encouraged a lot of ill-advised moving in that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

I would always have avoided starting a relationship with someone who is away for long periods - months apart in some areas of the country has been a big ask and not what most signed up for with their current partner.

But I don't know what the answer is. If you whatabout everything then we're back to unlimited mixing.

I think no-one could have foreseen this, but if you don’t live together then it is inevitable that there will come times that you won’t see each other. It’s just that this time it’s been for so much longer than we anticipate.

Me and my DP don’t live together for logistical reasons, and we don’t live in the same town even. So I didn’t see him from March until July. After that he came for a few socially distanced visits outside, then in August he stayed when he had a week’s holiday but again, socially distanced and in the spare room. I am vulnerable so we can’t take any chances.

When the town he lives in went into tier3 he stopped coming any more, so I haven’t seen him since the end of September now.

I think I have it easier. I at least have the run of my house, but he lives in a house share, so is limited in terms of where he goes. He does go to work though.

DH is military and at the moment he works on a different base during the week and comes home on weekends. It can be hard but I’m just glad that his branch doesn’t really get deployed overseas. I’d be okay if he went to sea for 6 months but it would be very hard.

My fiancé is a 4 hour flight away and it’s been shit - we are used to long distance and living life in permanent countdown, but it’s the not knowing that’s the hardest part now. I should be there now 😥😥 instead I’m here wondering if the end of December is feasible or whether I’ll have to wait until February or even April to see him. I don’t know how much longer I can cope tbh but we just have to get on with it I guess

YANBU, I think it must be incredibly tough.