AIBU to think this is an off sentence "I've been tempted (eyeroll by me) & then have you ever felt coaxed to cheat on me?"

[user1463178569]

My husband of 11 years, together 19..was trying to 'boost me up' that he is totally committed to me in defence to his workmate who has left his wife.

However when he was telling me this, he goes don't get me wrong I've been tempted (have you now) but I love you and we've been through so much together.

Apparently his workmate said, "I'm glad you've got the willpower".

I personally think this is demeaning to me but my hubby answered "well have you not been coaxed to cheat, your silence says it all!" I was silent because although I get on with males, I'm never coaxed to fuck them silly.

So I told him "no I haven't been coaxed to cheat"

He just said "well I'm better than him (workmate) for having the willpower to be with you"

I do have confidence issues in general, which in fairness he helps me with in work & will try to boost me up to believe in what I'm capable of but I think these comments in relation to this aren't necessarily helping me :( telling me his head has potentially been turned but because of his morals he's decided against it.

AIBU to overthink this sentence?

The obvious question is why was he defending his workmate who has left his wife?

And what does that have to do in any way with your confidence or him 'boosting' you,?

How did this conversation start. And how did these two things come into it?

'well I'm better than him (workmate) for having the willpower to be with you"

This is an awful thing to say.

And how likely is it that he actually has women chucking themselves at him. It's not an everyday thing.

So the underlying message is you should be grateful to him for exerting self control. What an arse. It's undermining you ,in a very manipulative,sneaky way.

Patronizing shit

Is this one off behaviour? Just because I’ve had this conversation with my DP.

We don’t think there is such a thing as the One and more people you are compatible with so technical it does take will power and dedication to stay with someone. It’s far easier to jump from person to person.

So if this is a one off for his character I wouldn’t be bothered as I agree with what he said he just wasn’t great at saying if / it came out a bit wrong.

He thinks he’s a hero because he doesn’t shag around? It’s the absolute basic minimum requirement.

Agree he’s undermining you here.

He wants you to be grateful that he's not cheated on you even though he's been tempted? Is he trying to make you jealous or just feel like shit? It takes willpower to be with you? He's being a twat

He made a vow to love and stay faithful to you for the rest of your lives. Surely it's just a given that he should be expected to uphold that? Sounds like he's trying to boost his own ego while letting you know how lucky you are to have a husband who has the willpower not to shag all these women who are apparently throwing themselves at him.

What a charmer!
The moment has passed for a witty comeback . But I'd be getting that quote put onto tee shirts and printed onto posters maybe even made into his Christmas card to send him. Keep reminding him of what a twattish thing it was to say!
If he's a loveable idiot he should end up seeing the funny side. If he's nasty he won't and you might be better off without him.

I've been with DH for 23 years. I'd be lying if I said I'd never found someone attractive during that time and had a few "what if...?" thoughts about them. I've never done anything about it though, because I choose to be faithful to DH.

He chose his words badly (willpower is not a great way to describe this), but isn't that what he's trying to say? If so, that sounds normal to me.

He clearly thinks he's amazing for doing the bare minimum by not cheating. Is he normally a dickhead?

That's awful! It takes 'willpower' to stay with you???

Yes valentines card next year.

On the front: I’ve been tempted to cheat...

Inside: But I have the willpower not to

So romantic! They’ll sell in the millions

My dh drives me mad at times but I can honestly say that I have never once been tempted to cheat. I don’t think that I am doing him a favour by not cheating. It doesn’t take much willpower for me to show the person I love a basic level of respect. It’s just married life. Your dh is a dick.

Hi

I was very busy at work yesterday.

I think it was a very flippant ill thought out comment tbh, and I posted here without thinking it through.

It did irritate me and I will be keeping an eye out on other similar comments. However, I'm not making a big deal of it and will pull him accordingly if he tries to comment like that again.

I've always been quite clear if he cheats, he'll be shown the door.

I've asked for this to be removed but looks like admin have ignored me.

Thank you for all your comments and viewpoints.

That's rude of him OP. I would be hurt by that comment.