I am starting to go a little bit mad so I thought I would do a post. I thought if people are interested I can update every day and maybe I won't feel so crazy if everyone is rooting for us.
We live in Germany. I had been warned by other expat friends to expect a long settling period. What I did not expect was eight weeks of madness. German kindergartens employ a method of settling in called the Berlin Method, where you start out staying with the child for a short time so that they get to know the place, then you sit in a corner being boring while they go off and have fun with a designated staff member, and then eventually you leave and start bringing them for short periods on their own. It is supposed to take 2-6 weeks. I think we might be trapped in the longest one in history. I wonder if he will be settled in by Christmas?
DS2 is 2 years old.
I will do a little summary for you.
Week 1, day one: DS2 very excited to come and play at Kita. We sat in the art room. He investigated scissors, a broom and some crayons. We stayed for 90 minutes! He told me I could go home after 15 minutes. I foolishly thought this was a good sign.
Week 1, day two: Today DS2 discovered the construction room (cars, trains, building blocks). This is the best day of his life. We were allowed to stay for 1 hour today. He starts to actually talk to his keyworker, especially when she speaks English to him.
We alternated between the construction room and dining room for the whole of week 1. We did not advance past an hour.
Week 2: DS2 poorly and has to spend the week at home.
Week 3: After a successful first day, I actually get to leave for the first time. I am instructed to leave for 30 minutes. The rest of the week goes well and it stretches out to 90 minutes. I start bringing him later so he can participate in circle time. I notice his keyworker is speaking 100% English to him now with the odd German word.
Week 4: On Monday DS2 suddenly connects the fact that we're approaching Kita with the realisation I'm going to abandon him and breaks into heartbreaking sobs. However as the week goes on he goes from "Nooooooooooo Kita" and trying to run away to waving manically and going "Byeeebyeemummyyyy" through tears. I feel horrible. DH gives us a lift one day and unhelpfully says "I don't know how you can cope with that face!" Miraculously by Friday he is managing to say goodbye. I am allowed to pick him up 30 minutes later to allow for him to have lunch there. When I pick him up I'm informed randomly that he's moving group next week and will be with a completely different keyworker. I'm confused but say OK. Apparently, he knows her, so I think this is probably fine.
Week 5: The Kita has gone into full Corona prevention measures which explains the group change. However, it turns out DS2 does not know/like/tolerate either of the staff members in his group. His group is also confined to the dining room. When he doesn't like an adult, his response is to pretend that they don't exist. I'm told we probably shouldn't lengthen the time yet, because he needs to get used to the new situation.
Week 6: It takes until halfway through this week for DS2 to actually start acknowledging one of the workers in his group. He still refuses the other. OK-adult is tolerated. We have discovered goodbyes need to be as fast as possible. DS2 reinforces this by shouting "BYE BYE MUMMY" in a tone of "I'm only just holding it together here, hurry the fuck up and GO".
Week 7: He is ill for the whole week and has to stay at home.
Week 8: (This week). WE FINALLY GET TO LENGTHEN THE TIME. I am allowed to drop him off half an hour earlier, and pick him up half an hour later. Yay! I actually have time to go home instead of sit in a corridor! However they also decided on the same day that they would totally change all the groups around. Not-OK adult is staying with their group. OK-adult is moving to the baby room. However, his original keyworker that he liked is going to be part of his group. I never see her, though. I am only allowed to interact with his least favourite adult. They inform me that he hates all of this change and we need to reduce the time I am leaving him for so that he can get used to it again, and also so that they can feed him lunch earlier, because they've suddenly started giving it an hour later and he is most displeased about this.
I have to pick him up earlier tomorrow anyway, because I have work in the afternoon. So they are happy with this. He seemed happy and covered in dirt today. I will update you tomorrow.