Stop saying show your partner this thread!

[Soubriquet]

I keep seeing this message, when a partner is being unreasonable, for the OP to show them the thread.

Never do this ffs!!

Unless you’ve agreed with each other that you are posting a thread about them, it will only end in tears.

It could range between serious hurt (I mean how would you like it if you found out your partner was bad mouthing you online) to furious anger.

None of those reactions help anyone and it could end dangerously.

So please don’t tell the OP to show their partner any thread about them

Totally agree.

Yep. With bells on.

Show this thread to your (abusive/controlling/idiot) DP so that they can clearly see your MN username and can search for everything else you have ever posted.

Yes I realise people can name change, but it's not like there aren't loads of name change fails mid-thread.

Agree also

@whopooedinthepyrex

Show this thread to your (abusive/controlling/idiot) DP so that they can clearly see your MN username and can search for everything else you have ever posted.

Yes I realise people can name change, but it's not like there aren't loads of name change fails mid-thread.

It isn’t even the fact you may have posted more than one thread

It’s the fact you post at all and then tell them.

I agree. Just don't say or do it.
Does anyone seriously think that someone's partner is going to take any notice of what a load of random people online have to say about his / her behaviour?
If they cared, they wouldn't behave in a way that the OP complains about.

Agree it’s terrible advice but people keep suggesting it!

I agree it's like some don't think, yea show him mumsnetters have told him off

Surely you know if you should show something to your dp? If I had an abusive partner, I wouldn't show him MN just because some rando on the Internet told me to.

YANBU

i agree it would be massively hurtful to see you partner had posted about you and would put most people on the defensive. MN never knows the nuances of a situation so advice tends to be quite black and white.

And for posters in abusive relationships it could be downright dangerous