He is no longer my first thought when I wake up or my last when falling asleep. Actually, I've started to notice a couple of hours go past where I haven't thought of him at all. The urge to constantly torture myself by checking his media has gone away, it's been 4 weeks now since I've done that. I'm starting to look forward to things again, I'm genuinely excited for Christmas with my children, it's better because I feel lighter and "free" to enjoy life, before everything revolved around him. It was toxic and I was unhealthy obsessed. When imagine him with another woman I still feel a bit sad (I think?) But it doesn't destroy and consume me. 6 months ago I wanted to die, now I feel ready to discover who I really am. Is this nearly the end of the tunnel? I've waited so long to get here.