Smoking in the toilet

[Doglovesbooks]

My dp is a smoker and often smokes in the toilets in the house. One of the upstairs ones is right next to the bedroom where I and our toddler sleep. I’ve asked him again and again to please not smoke in the house, he never stops completely and I’m so pissed off with it. He comes from a family who still smoke in the house 🤷🏻‍♀️Who actually does that in this day and age?! I grew up with my dad occasionally smoking in the lounge when we’d gone to bed (80’s-90’s) but wouldn’t dream of it now.
So sick of the smell and the passive smoking element, aibu to be fuming about this?! How can I make him stop?

[quote Doglovesbooks]@goodwinter I know?!

@CorianderLord gaslighting how? (Forgive my stupidity)[/quote]
Gaslighting definition includes sowing seeds of doubt in the asker. He is trying to say he didn’t do it so that you might be like “ maybe just maybe I’m wrong”.

Definitely smoke alarm

If you can get an industrial smoke alarm with a sprinkler fitted, even better! Seriously though, this really is the time for "last chance mate" conversations. I assume he is aware of (ie isn't in denial about) the harm he's doing your child?

We’ve just had (another) huge row about it, he says he won’t do it again..again.

A smoke alarm is a good idea, in fact I’m doing that as good to have one anyway. If it’s put upstairs can it detect from downstairs too

Hopefully this time he'll mean it. Good on you for keeping on.

Do you think he's doing it after a smelly poo, as a stupid way of trying to cover any stink he might be embarrassed about? (My grandad used to light up in the loo for this reason).

@SheepandCow 😂 No, but I think (this is gross) he’s just become used to having a cigarette, a relax and a poo..it’s grim!

So he doesn't give a fuck about your health, or that of your child? Nice. What you really need is a smoke detector hooked up to a sprinkler system...

Oh no, not nice I hope he at least washes his hands!

He needs to go outside for a smoke especially for the sake of your toddler.
I used to smoke and happily went out. I still like the smell of cigarettes but not the lingering whiff of stale fag indoors.

I used to smoke and would NEVER smoke indoors it's gross.
I also would never smoke near other people especially at a restaurant.
I'd pour water over him next time he did it in the house.

I once accidentally burst in on my gran smoking in her bathroom while she was having a wee. Knickers round her ankles and the whole shebang.

I never understood why she was that desperate for a fag that she couldn't wait until she had been to the toilet. Nor could I understand the logistics of smoking on the loo. Where do you put it out? What if you accidentally burn your privates somehow?!

He comes from a family who still smoke in the house 🤷🏻‍♀️Who actually does that in this day and age?! I

Like most smokers, he is practicing cognitive dissonance.....it didn’t do him any harm ( he’s still alive) and it calms his nerves / de de- stresses him etc. He’s also an addict so simply asking him to stop won’t work as he’s addicted. He needs to commit to a professional programme and if he won’t, you need to consider if you want to stay with him.

Oh my days your bathroom must stink! I come from a time where all my family were heavy smokers. As kids after a visit to grandparents where everyone chain smoked we would come home and have to shower and change clothes. Its absolutely disgusting. The smell of stale cigarettes on peoples hair and clothing is gross and he will be bringing those chemicals back into the house and onto your dc. Its an awful thing to try and justify when you have kids. My dd classmate at school always smelt of second hand smoke because of her parents habits. Its awful smelling it on a child that has no choice. I would definitely come down heavy about this but also give him some guidance and advice about quitting xx

[quote Doglovesbooks]@SheepandCow 😂 No, but I think (this is gross) he’s just become used to having a cigarette, a relax and a poo..it’s grim![/quote]
Jesus Christ that's grim. He's gross OP. He would rather make the house stink and lie to you than go outside if he really won't give up smoking. Rank. Shows his priorities really...

He’s a right dickhead. Smokers are selfish -not all- but he is.

I smoke at night...I would NEVER smoke in or even near the house. It's the ultimate lazy bastard who does that.