To be worried at this comment from my mum about DS

[changedname34]

DM has been providing childcare for my DS whilst me and DH wfh.

I picked him up today and she pulled me aside to ask he if I had any worries about his behaviour/development because she has noticed behaviours that she believes are associated with autism.

For background, he is 19 months old. He was a late walker (16 months old) and I have always had a feeling that something was amiss, however just thought he would grow out of the behaviours, some of which he has. However, he's very quiet, cannot say any words and does not seem to interact when we speak to him. He also does not respond to his name.

I'm really worried about him now. I have reached out to his HV and I'm awaiting for a home visit.

Should I be worried here? I'm a first time mum so really don't have anything to compare to. I would appreciate some advice

amitoooldforthisshit has an excellent point : you've been enough and raised him well to now - you have everything you need to love and care for him going forward. Good luck

I had exactly the same concerns when my DS was nearly 2. It was November too, I remember it suddenly dawning on me that my speech delayed toddler was probably autistic. I called the HV who came to do an 'urgent early 2 year check' though she said they don't usually do them until 2 and a half in our area. I had to fill out M-Chat questionnaires and she asked me why I hadn't been in touch when he wasn't talking sooner, I felt awdul. All online tests said he was likely autistic. I have an older daughter with Asperger's so it was all seeming likely, but now my son is nearly 4 and his speech is perfect and I don't have any concerns he is autistic now (maybe he is mildly and it will be more obvious later but I'm leaning towards not). Just wanted to add that. It's good to get him checked out, but do bare in mind that a lot of toddlers at this age tick a lot of boxes for autism if they are speech delayed. We didn't find a cause for my son's speech delay, but he did have one blocked ear, and one day his ear drum burst and his speech seemed to come on after that event so that may have been a link. He could hear, but it may have been intermittent or muffled. Has your son had any ear infections or a lot of wax or anything?

He is still little. You have absolutely done the right thing contacting health visitor and they will be able to tell you what comes next, if anything. But looking at these things early and engaging with health professionals is your best bet IF he does have additional needs.

Don’t panic yet! He’s so young and he has lots of time to catch up. And if he needs a little extra help along the way, well he’s already got you fighting his corner so he’s off to a good start.

Honestly, you got this.

The first thing they will do is a hearing test - which is good because I grew up with a little boy, who wasn't spotted as having severe hearing loss until he was about 5.
Autism doesn't have to be that bad a diagnosis - you don't know what it will mean with such a small child. The thing is not to panic but to insist on getting professional help. At his age you want an assessment from a paediatrician.
Don't let anyone fob you off.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Fingers crossed the HV will take me seriously and listen to my concerns 🤞🏻

16 months to walk is really not late.

Responding to his name does raise concerns so get him reviewed hearing checked and assesseed and check out local under five services

Don’t let the health visitor fob you off. I can remember taking my son to the hv just before his second birthday and she said he couldn’t be autistic because he gave good eye contact 🙄 he’s now coming up to 6 still doesn’t speak and was diagnosed with asd 3 years ago.

I feel for you op it’s heartbreaking when you realise something is wrong.

I can't offer any advice re autism but just wanted to let you know that my son didn't walk until 16 months and also was not speaking until after 2 so I don't necessarily think there is anything to worry about there. He's now a very chatty and active 3.5yo. Get in touch with HV and see what they say about the other things you mention. Good luck!

Fucking hell! You lot have diagnosed someone from your armchairs and probably worried the op sick. Well done.

16 months isn't late to walk. The not responding to his name thing could be late speech and language.

I wouldn’t panic just yet. My son has autism. It was a variety of things. He was a very late talker but it isn’t just about speech. How’s his non verbal social skills?

Dd was also Speech delayed but does not have autism so speech delay does not always equal autism. She was also very late to walk (2) so I wouldn’t panic just yet.

But if there are delays the Hv can help refer you the appropriate support but at 16 months I wouldn’t be overly concerned yet.

My son didn't talk at all until he was 3. His diction is still not very clear now (5) as it's taken him a while to catch up - none of this 'full sentences in a week' stuff. It just took a long time.

We have since found out he had glue ear in both ears - but as he could hear certain things ok (the telly, music, etc) we didn't think it was his hearing.

It might be autism, but it very equally might not.

I have a child with SN and yes, not speaking and not interacting should not be ignored.

Does he understand what you are saying? Can he follow instructions? Does he communicate nonverbally (gestures). How is is play and his self help skills (e.g. can he eat on his own by spoon/finger food).

Have you had his hearing checked? That is often a first step.

Speak to your HV.
You will cope well don't worry he's still your lovely little boy who'll need a little extra help 💙

Does your DM have professional experience with children? Just wondering why you’ve become so concerned on her comments. My DM does, so if she’d said that to me I’d be making appointments. But if it were MIL I wouldn’t necessarily because she’s not trained to identify that sort of thing.

• If your son should be diagnosed with a SN, he won't suddenly turn into a different child: he will be exactly the same child you already know and love. The only difference will be you may be able to access some techniques that will help him.

V v wise Cory. I wish someone had told me that, years ago. It’s true though. They’re still the same little gorgeous child.

Your mum has done the right thing in voicing her concerns.
You have done the right thing in contacting your health visitor.
In the meantime you may be interested in a new BBC website called Tiny Happy People which is all about helping with children’s communication.

I am on the fence. I don't have any experience of autism but can give my own experience with my son. He walked early but didn't say a word until he was almost 2 and a half years old. He wouldn't respond to his name. He first called me mummy when he was 2.5. He had a hearing test done which was all fine. He went from 0 words to 300 words within weeks. Within 6 months he was speaking in sentences and fluently. At 4.5 now, he's non stop and his speech is quite advanced. People often get surprised when I say he didn't speak a single word until he was 2.5!
I just want to say don't worry yet.

I am on the fence. I don't have any experience of autism but can give my own experience with my son. He walked early but didn't say a word until he was almost 2 and a half years old. He wouldn't respond to his name. He first called me mummy when he was 2.5. He had a hearing test done which was all fine. He went from 0 words to 300 words within weeks. Within 6 months he was speaking in sentences and fluently.

what is there to be on the fence about? OP's child shows delays and it makes only sense to the get them evaluated by someone who knows of it is 'nothing' or 'something'. This wait and see approach (which is shameful often also taken by HVs and GPs) is doing nothing but harm to children who will need help. There is no harm getting a child checked out because only professionals with certain experiences will be able to say into which group a child falls. If a child needs help, what good does it do to do nothing just because little Johnny managed to catch up on its own? Worse case paed will confirm all is well and the child will catch up.