Would you say this is me overreacting or bad friends ?

[Whitechocolatemarshmallow]

Had my birthday (pre Covid) and one of my oldest friends said she couldn't make it as she was skint, it was a milestone birthday too.

If she were living on the breadline I would fully understand, but I know she has a very well-paid job and that her money was going towards her wedding and a new car.

I thought she could have at least popped by to show her face (10 mins drive away for her) and had a lime and soda or a coke which cost next to nothing.

This guy who I had been dating went abroad for a month. I was worried that he would get with people, we weren't official but still, think it's normal that you want it to go somewhere. Friend said, "He's going on holiday to a hot country, of course he's going to want to make the most of it and sleep with lots of people."
Just very insensitive and silly to generalise like that.

Pre Covid, so last Xmas Eve and NYE everybody seemed to be staying in and doing their own thing. Asked the friend what she was doing and could we do something and she said she was just staying in, but she would let me know.

Then at 10pm I see photos of her on a night out which was apparently a 'last minute thing.'

Just feels like shitty behaviour and why do I put up with it ?

Yes why? Cut her loose.

I think sometimes I find it hard to know whether I expect too much.
I don't see myself as hugely demanding, don't expect friends to come rushing round with balloons and cake etc. But i've spent about £300 on their wedding and hen do and I earn around £10k less than them per year.

Friend of mine did a gig 25 minutes away by train, I was the only one who went, as the others were saying it was 'too far away'. It was hardly hours away, it's amazing how little effort such people make.

I think this friend has checked out of the friendship and is feeling too awkward to tell you so making excuses. Id forget them and move on

Yes it’s shitty behaviour. Let her go.

That is not only ‘not a good friend’ that is someone who actively chooses (yes it’s a choice) to disregard your feelings and needs.

You do not need that person in your life.

She didn't see you as a friend. Just fade her out.

Thanks everyone, I thought it was just me being OTT.

It doesn’t sound like she want to be friends with you anymore. I would just let the friendship go.

You’re not her friend. Sorry.

Oh well, one less to worry about :)

She doesn’t want to spend any money on your celebrations and she’s not happy for you to meet someone nice. Time to fade her out.

No Christmas present for her! Or birthday!

Exactly, I spent hundreds on her and she couldn't even spend £1 on a lime and soda or whatever (she would be driving anyway). Good riddance tbh.

I put myself in debt attending her celebrations as I didn't want to let her down, being an old friend.
Another 2 i've spent hundreds on their hens and weddings and nothing.
I guess it doesn't entitle me to anything but still it hurts.

Of course it hurts, she sounds like a user.

Most important thing is to learn from it and don’t feel obliged to spend hundreds on friends/their celebrations.

She has shown her true colours, don’t let her suck you in again. Do you have another good friend?

Thank you, I don't have many close friends but hope to make new ones.

It will hurt because you’re clearly nicer than she is and wouldn’t behave like she is doing. Cut her loose. It will free up your time and money to invest in spending time with people who make you feel better, not worse.