To ask how to manage a toddler and baby

[waterlane]

It's come to something when cooking dinner is a welcome escape from the children. Tried to do crafts with the toddler and sit baby in the high chair but he was having none of it. Toddler then wanted to get out. Baby went in jumperoo for all of five minutes and now tv is on. Any tips?? Baby just wants to crawl about on the floor and play with wires rather than his toys. Constantly feel like I'm neglecting one of them. I can't wait for the day they play together!

You are not neglecting them, you have just got your hands full and as you have a toddler and baby you feel must very drained by the end of the day. Maybe you could try puzzles and blocks so they can both play them and they are safe or maybe a story? Hope this helps op

I don’t know how you’re coping with a toddler, my older one is 5 and that’s challenging enough! And oh God, the wires - my ten month old’s main aim in life is to either chew on wires or stick his fingers in a plug socket....

The wires!!!! The struggle is real! Nearly 1 and a 3 year old. Fuck it’s ridiculous. No advice just solidarity.

It's just so hard some days isn't it! It was much easier when he was a newborn and didn't move but now he's crawling it's so much harder! But he's not old enough to play so it's a really tricky in between stage and im finding it tough! I've bought all the sensory toys to play with at home now classes are off and lay them all out to play with and then he's playing with the radiator or crawling behind the tv cabinet!! At least when we could go out it broke the day up, finding it really hard at the min. Thanks for sending solidarity ladies. Puzzles is a good idea, will have to dig some of toddlers old ones out. Thank god she is at nursery tomorrow morning at least!

I do think that playpens were the answer, keep them all in one place! If they were being restless, I would sit in the playpen and read while they climbed all over the settees, bliss all round!

My youngest are 15 months apart and it is chaotic! Absolutely no advice on how to make it easier! I'm a pro at one on one time with them but mostly just get us all through the day when I have both!

Could you mount your tv to the wall? It is so much easier with no wires or TV for them to knock down!

That's partly it, I feel like we're just getting through the day or afternoon sometimes when we're flying completely solo, hence the escaping to make dinner line! Then I feel terrible and like we should be doing something else or I should try harder, it just makes me feel crap

Following as DS will be 2 years & 3 months when baby arrives in May!

It's going to be interesting!

I think I honestly just white knuckled it for months! When my two were 1 and 2.5 I remember it being just very hard and absolutely relentless. They're 5 and 6 now and have been a doddle for ages!

Actually, looking back I think things got easier when my youngest was about 13-14 months because she stared having one nap a day so they both went up to bed for a nap at the same time so I got a break during the day.

Batch cooking meals to heat through and a slow cooker helped me through. I would often prep lunch AND evening meal when they ate breakfast and the baby was on its first nap etc. Some days I tried harder, some I embraced the path of least resistance. I remember falling asleep with them both for afternoon naps more than once!

I sat down and did some kind of craft or game with the toddler while the baby slept so she had one on one time.
Otherwise it was really hard and I ended up putting the toddler in nursery a lot. We walked up to the shop quite a lot with the toddler on her balance bike or scooter. I remember the toddler liked to play with baby toys so we did put them both in a massive playpen quite a bit. I think between feeding them, dressing them, changing nappies and wiping bums we didnt actually seem to do very much. Odd trip to the park but even that seemed stressful trying to push them both on the swing at once or something. It's such a blur I think I was only just surviving and it must be so hard in a pandemic - one thing that used to help was meeting friends in one of our houses and watch the chaos unfold with someone else

It’s really hard and I don’t think the challenge of two is talked about enough. For me it started getting much easier once the youngest was 18m but while they can play nicely at 20m and 4 they often bicker and seem to resort to quite rough play with each other in a way that they don’t do individually. We had a period of isolation and homeschooling was only really possible during nap time. It was a v stressful 2 weeks but easier with a few more months. Actual lockdown was carnage tbh as the little one was trying to find new and inventive ways to kill herself every day. There are lots of mumsnet threads where posters say two children are easier than one. I still can’t quite figure out how that is the case for anyone in the early years.

I used to put travel cot in the kitchen and plop youngest in there with a load of toys while I cooked and toddler left to potter around. Worked quite well for ten mins lol it’s hard, they are now 2 and 4 and play so nicely together most of the time

I totally agree it's not talked about enough either! But most of my friends with 2 only have both children on a Friday so I also feel a bit alone in that sense too as don't have anyone to properly hand hold with in RL. Really really miss just going to friends houses and letting them explore and play with a whole new set of toys while you have a cuppa with a mate. Going to the park is a nightmare with two most of the time so we just walk round the block. I think I enjoyed going to things like sensory because at least I felt I'd done something with the baby for an hour or so. I'll definitely get the playpen back out this weekend. I reckon he might like pulling himself up against it. I also got DD's activity tables back out and he quite likes that but everything's so short lived and by the time I'm trying to do an activity with the toddler he's onto something else. I think the people saying it's easier with 2 must have one of them in nursery a lot. Life is blissful on the mornings she goes in but I do miss her terribly. Parenting is such a head fuck eh!!

You don’t! 1&3 here, plus an older one. Completely relentless, exhausting and I just muddle through day to day keeping them alive hoping that one day I wake up and they’re suddenly a few years older

Having a really terrible few days with the toddler and baby so don’t feel fit for sharing any tips but place marking for me to come back and read

Solidarity :(.

Folding baby prison (playpen) + old mobile phone with all the apps deleted/no sim card and kids youtube app for peppa pig / duggee. The collapsing ones are great, only take seconds to set up and put away.

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that this isn't just me at the moment
Sorry - I have no words of wisdom, just solidarity!

Chin up @Temporary1234 - we all have those days and tomorrow is a new day

Currently have DD1 at 19 months and DD2 at 3 weeks. DH is back at work, tomorrow I will be trying to tackle the food shop with them both. DD1 is in nursery 1 morning a week while I'm on maternity. DD2 sleeps a lot at present, but I am under no illusion it'll last! DD2 is awake most of the night then settles down early morning just as DD1 is ready for the day ahead. The bags under my eyes definitely are not Chanel.

We are in this together!

So nice to know we're not alone

A playpen is your friend for the baby, they can't escape lol
I had a baby and a 2.5 year old, it's safe to say unless I was going straight from the car to another house I didn't go out on my own for the first year probably! My oldest has now been diagnosed with autism which I didn't know at the time but he was a nightmare to take out with the baby in the pram as well.
When my husband came home from work I used to hide in the kitchen to cook tea for a break lol

Op- it's not just you. Here is a link to a thread I started a few weeks ago- www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4038301-Toddler-and-a-baby

You have my sympathies

On the upside- baby has just turned 1- toddler is nearly 3, and we've had a good day. Toddler spent day chatting rather than whining and the baby was a delight. I'm determined that this is our new normal and not just a one off

I have no idea I think I sleep walked through most of it! Do remember doing a ton of batch cooking at the weekend when DH was home but I also remember eating the same easy 5 meals for years (at least it felt like that lol) we survived and I'm lucky if the kids are in the same room as me for any length of time now. Good luck