To still want Christmas at home.

[Jgb12]

I’ve read this morning that Boris is thinking about lifting restrictions for a few days around Christmas. I don’t know how legit it was or what truth is in it. Obviously it’s too soon to say what will happen at Christmas. If restrictions are lifted it’ll be great for those who enjoy spending time with their family... but...

I’ve already planned a Christmas at home. I’m actually quite looking forward to it. I have my hubby and two dc. Every year I say I want a Christmas at home just the 4 of us buy both of ur families try and guilt trip us into visiting and don’t like it when we see one over the other family. SO every bleddy year we trek half way round the county with our 2 dc (10&5). The day is rushed, they don’t have time to look at anything. Our families aren’t lonely. Our mums have husbands and grown up children at home. Neither of us know our dads thank god as it would be 4 visits 🤣🤣

My mums house is 25 minutes Away from us. Our in laws are only 15 minutes away from us but in different directions. So we usually visit one then the other.

Like I say our families make us feel Guilty for not coming over yet wouldn’t come over here as it’s ‘too much to travel in one day’ yet we are expected to do it despite being the only ones with young children.

Both families want us over for dinner but get offended when we choose one over the other so often have to cook our own dinner the visit both. I’m sick of it and I though this year would be a nice change.

Aibu to think sod them and just stay home that’s even if restrictions are lifted?

I find my family too much - borderline toxic I would say. Christmas with the in laws is actually quite chilled but I just want to stay home. Not rush our dinner, let my kids look at all their new stuff, actually watch some tv (I’ve never been able to watch tv on Christmas Day) and not be that knackered that if fall sleep at 7pm!! I might even go for a walk. Never had time for much on Christmas Day!

We will see them (if we are allowed) on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Or they could visit here.

Surely this doesn’t make me the asshole they make me out to be? I’ve tried having our own Christmas a few years ago. It didn’t go well was made to feel guilty as they wanted to see the children. But sheet my children deserve to spend the day at home with all their new toys?

NO fuck em. Say you're doing our own thing and they are welcome to drop in for a quick cuppa after breakfast or after lunch! Stick to your guns.

I would just say to them both now that whatever happens and if restrictions are lifted, you're staying at home regardless and will see family over the break at some point 👍🏼

You both are grown adults with children of your own. You have complete control over this situation. Why are you dragging your kids around when all of you just want to stay at home??

If you're not able to make your view heard just say it's covid related. But really OP just say you want it at home and that's that.

I’ve done Christmassy at home since having DC.

When I was little we did Christmas in our own home and DH the same so it would be hypocritical of them to mind really.

Not being unreasonable. After many stressful Christmases now the actual day is spent at home, stressful with my kids eating what we want and doing what we want. We visit on other days but Christmas day is ours.

The best advice my mother gave when I met my now husband was "time to start your own Christmas traditions now".

I was petulant at first, how dare she exclude me from Christmas Day at her house! To be fair I wasn't excluded, there was dinner for me if I wanted it...but I was expected to wake up in my own home instead of my mother hosting me.

I'm so glad she did. Now the four of us do not venture anywhere unless we want to on Christmas Day. It's our family time and we have precious few years with the girls being small enough to revel in this time.

2020 can be your year one of a new family Christmas tradition.

Don't let them make you feel guilty.
My mum tries to make me feel bad about not spending Christmas with her every other year. The comments are so harsh. You don't need to explain/justify/defend yourself.
I just let it wash over me and don't spend any time worrying about it.

YANBU. Develop a cough on the 23rd. Or just tell them you're staying at home this year, they're BU to guilt trip you. You should be able to spend Christmas how you like.

I think there will be a fair few people who are secretly hoping that the government makes an announcement saying we all have to stay at home for Christmas.

Of course, if he does then we'll all have to pretend to be outraged!

Do your own thing. Sounds like you have been very tolerant over the years. They sound very selfish. I'd tell them well in advance though so you get all the sulking/being offended out of the way well before the day!

Since having the kids, I've put my foot down about dragging them here there and everywhere on Christmas Day. My mum is almost an hour away and DH's mum is 2.5 hours away. We have lots of lovely Christmas Eve traditions that we do as our own family unit, and the same on Christmas Day. We do invite one or the other DM/MIL to stay for Christmas if they wish. On Boxing Day either my sister or I will host a party with a meal and games so we can all enjoy some family time together but without the stress of it being Christmas Day. That way, all the kids get to chill at home, enjoying their presents, and Christmas dinner doesn't end up a massive monstrous affair.

@JillofTrades

You both are grown adults with children of your own. You have complete control over this situation. Why are you dragging your kids around when all of you just want to stay at home??

This with Christmas bells on. Grow a pair if not for you for your children.

Best advice I had was not to get into any Christmas obligations or regular turns at any family venue. We sort our plans and then announce them.