Fussy Eaters

[ShrikeAttack]

This is a bit of a TAAT so apologies!

A very beleaguered OP currently has a thread running about her fussy-eating husband. Loads of posters have piled on to proclaim they are emphatically 'Not Fussy Eaters', but wouldn't eat pulses, most vegetables, vegetarian food, etc.

To me they are fussy eaters. I understand about conditions involving anxiety around certain foods and sometimes the need for limited diets, but to me, 'non-fussy' eaters eat pretty much anything (barring vegetarianism or religious constraints).

Having said that, I'll eat any food, as long as it's well cooked, I've had some dreadful meals that I really didn't want to eat. I'm not a human dustbin!

I’m not a fussy eater at all - literally the only two things in life I don’t like are liver and shredded wheat - and tbf if someone plonked them in front of me at a dinner party I’d probably still eat them. I’ve tried things from crocodile to that weird fruit that everyone despises

However....

In my own home, generally on a regular basis I want to eat stuff I actively like. DH isn’t keen on Thai sweet type tastes for example, so will cook so thing like that once in a while and he will suffer it. I prefer a tomato to a creamy sauce - but dh is the other way around so again once in a while will make a creamy pasta for example.

But it’s about balance

I'm almost 40. I know what I like, what I don't like, what I wouldn't mind trying, and what I absolutely don't want to try. I don't think its helpful to label people as 'fussy' like its a bad thing.

If I'm cooking for other people I will let them know in advance what I'm making so they have the opportunity to let me know if they don't like something and I'll work around that. When cooking day to day for myself, DH, and the children we generally eat family-style anyway and everyone always has at least 1-3 foods on the table that they will definitely eat so they're free to leave anything they don't like or don't want to try and can stick to the things they do like.

On the other hand - a close relative will not eat any vegetables at all (and I mean none), only meat is chicken or a burger. Will disrupt a meal out to say “I can’t eat anything there” etc. Now that’s a picky eater and a fucjing annoying one at that.

So what's the AIBU?

‘How much of a picky eater are you’ questionnaire:

www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/how-much-of-a-picky-eater-are-you?bfsource=bfocompareon

No idea how comprehensive this is but it’s something to go on.

Agreed about that thread. “I’m not a picky eater but I wouldn’t most of the things you made”. You’re picky, end of. But it’s a spectrum of course.

I'm vegetarian and my MIL thinks I'm a fussy eater because of it.

I disagree because as long as it doesn't contain any meat products I'll eat anything. PIL on the other hand have lots of random things they don't like.

When we're looking for a restaurant to eat in, as long as there's something veggie on the menu I'm fine. However we go from restaurant to restaurant trying to find something they fancy. Drives me nuts.

Durian Jingle!

We have a very similar dynamic here, DH prefers creamy sauces, I like sharper flavours. I cook more as I really enjoy thinking about what I want to eat and I'm the better cook. We eat a huge variety of foods though. I do enjoy using new ingredients.

It's a bit like books though, they'll never be enough time to eat all the foods or read all the books!

I'm a neophyte! (But also strangely traditional).

@Lucidas well that answers it - I ticked one thing on that list (my dreaded liver).

I've taken my contacts out before bed and my fuzzy eyes massively misread the thread title as something very different

There's nothing on there I wouldn't eat, I eat most of them on a regular basis Lucidas.

So, according to Buzzfeed, I'm not a picky eater (but I knew that).

I don't think vegetarianism is fussy, I think people that think vegetarianism is fussy, are, without exception, fussy themselves.

There isn’t a single ingredient that I actively avoid and certainly nothing I wouldn’t eat if served.

Drives me nuts when you plan a night out and can’t go here because Susan doesn’t like Thai, can’t go there because Jane doesn’t like such and such.

Then when you do find somewhere and I would happily eat the entire menu people spend ages deciding what they want and then have to ask for some concoction of different dishes on the menu because there is at least one thing on every meal they don’t like.

Im.not fussy about would at most of the things on that thread if they were cooked for me. That said, I would prefer not to eat too many beans, because my stomach doesn't like them and they are about my east favourite food. I wouldn't choose chickpea curry, black bean chilli or vegetable cottage pie at any point .

If someone was cooking for me every day, is shut up and be grateful.

I don't eat 17 out of the 87 things on that list. Still leaves plenty that I do eat.

I have always thought it manners when inviting people to dinner to ask if there are foods they don't like. Not hard to do something everyone would enjoy eating.

As I noted on the other thread, I'm very fussy about texture - don't eat beans etc due to the texture. Veges have to be cut in the right direction or the texture is different - by that I mean in the wrong direction generally they go mushy - I hate over soft / mushy .

I think most people don't eat that adventurously.

Having said that, I cook adventurously and entertain a lot (or did, when we could), and everyone eats my food very enthusiastically, so maybe they do. Or maybe I'm drawn to my friends because I know we have similar interests.

I always ask if new guests have dietary requirements, and I'm happy to accommodate them. I've never had anyone come back with a list of dislikes though.

I'm doing that test as I fully believe I'm NOT a fussy eater but my DS10 is

Ok - there are some people who will eat anything, but most of us, even if we don’t want to admit it, are a bit fussy or selective about what we eat.

I only score two on that list. Marmite and liquorice. They've never been a barrier to going to any kind of restaurant . I do have a relative who won't eat various things or go to certain types of restaurant but thinks that because they do eat one food that quite a few people don't like, then they can't possibly be considered a fussy eater.

I don't really like baked beans or licorice, but I can eat them and would if I was really hungry, they're also not ingredients that tend to make eating out a problem! I have a friend who is over forty, has a very professional job, won't eat any vegetables at all, he has been known to send a plate of food back at a restaurant because he requested no veg but they put peas on his plate and he can't just leave them on the plate as they've contaminated everything else!!

I got 5 out of 87 lol. My son is the pickiest of eaters. I actually gave up trying with him for a while as it was so stressful and he basically lived on chips and chicken. But he is starting to become more adventurous now he is 10. He wouldn't even eat sweeties or crisps etc. Not that they are healthy but it was the absolute refusal of trying new foods that got to me. The first day he ate a piece of chocolate I was delighted just because he tried "something new" I never understood his pickyness as he was always exposed to and offered all different types of food as I'm so adventurous and will try anything

I think half the reason people don't like veges is because they've only ever have overcooked soggy veges. That's what I grew up with and hated vegetables. Now I do my own cooking, I like a lot of veges that my parents won't eat. Mum still cooks peas until they're grey green and not just heated through and bright green. She doesn't like when she comes to my place and veges are firm not soggy.

I had a very annoying 'gluten intolerant' woman for Sunday lunch once. I made alternative dishes for her, (she wasn't coeliac or I would have made a completely gluten-free meal with no chance of cross-contamination), she was very appreciative.

And then I served pudding and she had a massive helping of the very gluteny steamed pudding.

When I asked her (and I did), she just said 'she preferred to avoid it'.

Unless it's served hot, with custard, presumably.

That kind of nonsense irritates me.

TBF though, pulses are horrible.

I do agree K1233 I think lots of people think they don't like certain foods because they've never had them cooked well.

I love calve's liver, if I'd only ever eaten school liver I'd think it was disgusting.

This is one of my biggest bugbears. Adults claiming they 'don't like' something, but they've never actually tried it.
I'm a good cook and a bit of a foodie, but honestly...I'll eat any old shit as long as it's cooked properly.
The only thing on this planet I ever tried and struggled to mince down was escargot in a rather poor french restaurant. Even my 5 year old daughter ate some to help me out.