To be annoyed with my cousin....

[TableFlowerss]

So a cousin that I’ve not seen for about a year sends me a message out of the blue asking how I was etc...(She lives about 2 miles away)

Never messaged and I thought ‘that’s nice’, maybe she’s struggling with lockdown and I’d feeling lonely as she’s single. She said would Iike to FaceTime catch up as she’s started her own business and would like to show me it.

I did think there might be more to it as she seemed intent on pinning me down to a date for a FaceTime. (Again I never hear from her from one year to the next and she passes my house several times a month)

I was expecting her to show me a craft hobby she’d set up and I thought she probably wants me to buy some items.

I wasn’t overly keen as I felt it was a bit underhanded to pretend she wants to genuinely catch up with me, when the reality is she wants to sell me stuff.

I got it wrong though....

Yesterday she called with the how are you etc and then asked if I minded if her boss joins us on the FaceTime call - (at this point I’m like WTF)

Over a barrel I said ‘yes it’s ok’. So then ‘Sarah’ her boss appears and stated talking about the business. (I’m not naming it but it’s once if those pyramid types where you have to get people on board and then you get commission etc.... there’s loads of them!)

So I had to follow their internet link and hear her waffle on how amazing the business is, both the product/service and being an ‘employee’. Then they get to the end after about 20 mins and she says ‘so if you click on that link and we’ll get you signed up’

I was fuming. I feel that was so out of order of my cousin to be sly about it and pretend she wanted to chat. She just wanted to sign me up!!

As you can imagine, I was under pressure but I said no anyway because I was so mad that she’s put me in that situation.

I’ve got my own shit to deal with at the moment and Ive not got time for shit like that. It’s the underhanded aspect of if that I’m pissed off with!

Sure rude of the cousin but I would have gone along for a bit then said sorry not interested, why is everyone else to blame when people can't say no, don't want to, that is unacceptable etc.

Sure I would have got annoyed, said no then moved on

I get where you’re all coming from wondering why I didn’t put my foot down sooner. She’s quite the ‘poor me’ character in real life. Even though she’s mid 30’s she comes across as quite childlike in certain areas.

Because she said she was feeling a bit down with covid etc I genuinely thought she’s probably feeling low like she said and was looking for some different company/chat.The same as most people have been affected by covid mentally to some degree.

That’s why I gave the benefit of the doubt despite the huge red flags.

Served me right - she played me like a fiddle!

What did they say when you refused to sign up?

I would have been so annoyed.

It’s exactly these social bonds MLM seeks to exploit @TableFlowerss. It’s why MLM can get the scam past people who might normally have been more cynical if they’d been approached by a stranger. Your cousin will be required to monitize her social network by someone she believes she can trust (her upline who makes money when you’re cousin purchases product and adds to the downline by recruiting others who will purchase and so on). The MLM knows that you are more likely to be receptive if it’s your cousin pitching to you, less likely to put the phone down and potentially you’ll be more malleable as a result. Unless you are really firm (and therefore chalked up as a negative person who is unsupportive and envious) you will find that your “no” is explained to your cousin as a “not yet” and she will be pushed to try again with you. It sounds like your cousin is yet another victim of MLM COVID recruitment. Those of us who watch the “industry” are seeing people who signed up during the first Lockdown beginning to find themselves in serious trouble. They have been sold MLM as a potentially very lucrative, flexible income that can replace the job they’ve lost or give them a supportive network. This is rarely true.

The best support you can give her is to point her towards Talented Ladies Club and MLMtruth.org which both articles on tracking the costs of participating in MLM. Hopefully she will quickly see she’s losing money and stop doing it before she’s in very serious trouble. However it sounds like she is vulnerable emotionally and naive (?) which might make it very tricky for her to extract herself later. Very tricky situation for anyone who cares about her.

I have had this experience with friends rather than family and it was really unpleasant. The slow dawning on you that they really did not want to speak to you at all, they wanted your money is horrid. I went very low contact as a result and if I were you I would do the same.

@sapnupuas

What did they say when you refused to sign up?

I would have been so annoyed.

I said my partner sorts all the finances out (he doesn’t) and that I’d always speak to him before setting anything up.

Then she said ‘So when’s he available to speak to?’.... no shame at all!!

So a cousin that I’ve not seen for about a year sends me a message out of the blue asking how I was etc...(She lives about 2 miles away)

My immediate thought was "uh oh, MLM hun alert"

Sorry, OP. You just got pyramided.

@YouokHun

It’s exactly these social bonds MLM seeks to exploit *@TableFlowerss*. It’s why MLM can get the scam past people who might normally have been more cynical if they’d been approached by a stranger. Your cousin will be required to monitize her social network by someone she believes she can trust (her upline who makes money when you’re cousin purchases product and adds to the downline by recruiting others who will purchase and so on). The MLM knows that you are more likely to be receptive if it’s your cousin pitching to you, less likely to put the phone down and potentially you’ll be more malleable as a result. Unless you are really firm (and therefore chalked up as a negative person who is unsupportive and envious) you will find that your “no” is explained to your cousin as a “not yet” and she will be pushed to try again with you. It sounds like your cousin is yet another victim of MLM COVID recruitment. Those of us who watch the “industry” are seeing people who signed up during the first Lockdown beginning to find themselves in serious trouble. They have been sold MLM as a potentially very lucrative, flexible income that can replace the job they’ve lost or give them a supportive network. This is rarely true.

The best support you can give her is to point her towards Talented Ladies Club and MLMtruth.org which both articles on tracking the costs of participating in MLM. Hopefully she will quickly see she’s losing money and stop doing it before she’s in very serious trouble. However it sounds like she is vulnerable emotionally and naive (?) which might make it very tricky for her to extract herself later. Very tricky situation for anyone who cares about her.

The worst thing is, my cousin was saying that ‘Sarah’ was really supportive 🙄 and that she (cousin) can phone her up any time day or night and not just about work related stuff... making out she’s looking out for her.

Yeah sure...

These MLM huns are ruthless.

So how did you leave it? Is she going to get in touch again? I mean, she will whether you encouraged it or not...

Let me guess, Bounce or Utility Warehouse?

The worst thing is, my cousin was saying that ‘Sarah’ was really supportive 🙄 and that she (cousin) can phone her up any time day or night and not just about work related stuff... making out she’s looking out for her

Yep, Sarah is making a vulnerable person emotionally and financially dependent upon her. This is the best way to stop your cousin engaging her critical thinking and will keep her invested longer, even past the time when the evidence is all there showing it to be a scam. Sarah herself needs to shimmy up the pyramid and away from the bottom line so she’ll do whatever she needs to do to put levels underneath her.

Agree with a PP, sounds like Utility Warehouse.

Which MLM was it OP?

I read this a while back. An education for me!
ellebeaublog.com/poonique/

[quote CottonSock]I read this a while back. An education for me!
ellebeaublog.com/poonique/[/quote]
That was a really interesting read. I think I might forward it to a few of my friends who are quite heavily involved in these schemes.

I have a friend who signed up to a MLM a year ago and seems to be genuinely making money. She has given up her job, is driving a new car and some of the others who she signed up are also making enough money to have given up their ordinary jobs. The social media alerts etc are annoying - and I cannot see how it is sustainable as an income source - but some people do seem to be doing very well out of MLMs.

@Figuringitout

I have a friend who signed up to a MLM a year ago and seems to be genuinely making money. She has given up her job, is driving a new car and some of the others who she signed up are also making enough money to have given up their ordinary jobs. The social media alerts etc are annoying - and I cannot see how it is sustainable as an income source - but some people do seem to be doing very well out of MLMs.

I assume she’s the exception as oppose to the norm. I guess some people do well but it’s the constant push push push when people have already said no

@StillCoughingandLaughing

I’ve just had a row about this on Facebook. It never seems to occur to these people that if these products are that great and sell so well, they don’t need to persuade ten other people to sell them for them, taking a tiny commission from each. They could be selling them directly and keeping all the commission themselves.

This exactly

MLM aside, nothing would ever make me fall out with my cousin, I love her to bits.

@Figuringitout

I have a friend who signed up to a MLM a year ago and seems to be genuinely making money. She has given up her job, is driving a new car and some of the others who she signed up are also making enough money to have given up their ordinary jobs. The social media alerts etc are annoying - and I cannot see how it is sustainable as an income source - but some people do seem to be doing very well out of MLMs.

"Seem" is the operative word here!

@Figuringitout

I have a friend who signed up to a MLM a year ago and seems to be genuinely making money. She has given up her job, is driving a new car and some of the others who she signed up are also making enough money to have given up their ordinary jobs. The social media alerts etc are annoying - and I cannot see how it is sustainable as an income source - but some people do seem to be doing very well out of MLMs.

I think seem is the operative word there...

This is how these people work and they’re totally brainwashed. About 10 years ago, something terrible happened to me and I lost all my friends. A few weeks later my SIL sent me a message to ask me to have a Pampered Chef party... erm 1) I was having a terrible time and the last thing I wanted was a party and 2) who would I have invited?

I was also approached as I walk down the street by 2 ladies who pulled up along side me and drove slowly along trying to get me to sell Avon 🤨. They just wouldn’t let me go, but I didn’t sign up.

Some random I worked with years ago is involved in one of these stupid MLM shit shows. Not seen or heard from her , we weren't friends just colleagues. Not even 'friends' on SM. She sent me a message request, feeling curious I absolutely sores it. It was along the lines of hey babes , fancy being part of an exciting new business? Followed by a lot of twat speak. Bloody idiot.

Absolutely sores? Wtf ...I opened it that should be

@Figuringitout

I have a friend who signed up to a MLM a year ago and seems to be genuinely making money. She has given up her job, is driving a new car and some of the others who she signed up are also making enough money to have given up their ordinary jobs. The social media alerts etc are annoying - and I cannot see how it is sustainable as an income source - but some people do seem to be doing very well out of MLMs.

Around 99.7% of people signing up to MLM lose money overall. If your friend is one of the ones who has made money then she is in a very small group. For her to make money others have to fail, there’s no way everyone is doing OK. The other thing to remember is that as someone else said “seem” is the operative word. I can think of quite a few apparent millionaires in MLM who are simply shunting around massive HMRC directors loans, lease cars, being propped up by a partner’s earnings, have family money etc etc. It’s rarely as it seems and it doesn’t last because the business model is fundamentally flawed.

Interestingly, it looks like Corrie is bringing in a storyline about MLMs - first sight tonight. Hope it has been well researched and gets the truth out.

I feel a bit sorry for your cousin. She's in a vulnerable place emotionally and has been brainwashed into believing this stuff; and it appears that her 'boss' is manipulating her rather thoroughly.

Try not to be too cross with her - save your annoyance for 'Sarah'.