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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend shouldn't be friends with my ex's new girlfriend?

89 replies

mellobrllow · 17/11/2020 14:46

My friend introduced me to her boyfriends friend on a night out.
We started dating for a year.
My friend was always texting him and it made him feel uncomfortable and he said he thought she fancied him.
Anyway my boyfriend cheated on me with a woman and dumped me for her.(this was in jan)
A week later my friend added her on Facebook and I noticed this girl commenting on her posts.
I asked her about it and she said
"Oh yeah I met her last week,we are close friends,she's gorgeous,you can understand why his eyes wandered"
So I said "ok so why did you add her to Facebook when you've met her once,and he cheated on me with her"
She replied .."these things happen,he is happy now,she wants to organise a night out"
Fast forward a month later she is on the phone to me and says
"Oh I seen (guys name ) at the retail park today,he was asking how everyone was,he didn't mention you tho"
Aibu to think this is a bit nasty ?

OP posts:
ReneeRol · 17/11/2020 19:22

She's not your friend. Cut her out. She'll be shit stirring with his new girlfriend once she no longer has you to manipulate.

BeardieWeirdie · 17/11/2020 19:27

She’s not that into you.
Block her on everything and make some actual friends as she sure as hell is not one.

Nackajory · 17/11/2020 19:29

Sounds like a friend you could do without.

mellobrllow · 17/11/2020 20:15

She would make sly digs often.
Why you wearing that for?
Bit dressed up aren't you
In groups ,oh bless Mel she's thick
(I'm not thick at all)

OP posts:
yellowhighheels · 17/11/2020 20:56

She's not a friend. She takes pleasure in your unhappiness or discomfort. There is no reason, none at all that someone would innocently tell their friend that her recent ex's new partner was 'gorgeous' other than to cause pain. That is actively trying to hurt you. Disengage from her. From the group if need be.

Frankola · 17/11/2020 21:01

Bin her

Smellbellina · 17/11/2020 21:02

She’s a cunt

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 17/11/2020 21:03

Get rid. Remover her off Facebook, block her numbers, take away her power.
If anyone brings her up just play dumb, pretend there's no drama because she wants drama. Get on with a life without her.

Or continue as you are and be dragged into weird dramatic situations forever.
Your choice

BlueThistles · 17/11/2020 21:10

You're allowing this nasty piece of Shit... to walk all over you.. your style.. your intelligence ... WTF OP.. where is your backbone.. you know this Twat is no friend... she enjoys ripping the piss out of you... undermining you.. tormenting you by being friends with the new GF... sneering and judging you... This lassie is poison and you are a fool to even consider carrying on regardless ... walk away 🌺

mellobrllow · 17/11/2020 21:13

Would you confront her about her behaviour before I delete her?
Or just simply remove without any explanation

OP posts:
liveitwell · 17/11/2020 21:17

I would message her. Tell her you've come to realise what a rubbish friend she's been all this time and can't be arsed with her bitchy comments anymore. That you had hoped she'd grow up but she clearly hasn't. Then...adios.

berrygirlie · 17/11/2020 21:17

Just delete her OP, you can tell she'd thrive off the drama and she would try to make you feel like the bad guy. Your silence is much cooler, and anything you need to say to get off your chest for release purposes you can say to someone close to you IRL or on here 💜

BlueThistles · 17/11/2020 21:21

Would you confront her about her behaviour before I delete her?
Or just simply remove without any explanation

Nooooooo

All you are doing is giving her gossip fodder to pass around the 'in crowd'

you block her.. on everything and you say nothing...

If people ask why you have done this... say you don't know what they are talking about... and change the subject than ask about them.... brush it away... do not engage with anyone about her... she'll play the victim.., 🌺

Eugenieonegin · 17/11/2020 21:29

@BlueThistles

Would you confront her about her behaviour before I delete her? Or just simply remove without any explanation

Nooooooo

All you are doing is giving her gossip fodder to pass around the 'in crowd'

you block her.. on everything and you say nothing...

If people ask why you have done this... say you don't know what they are talking about... and change the subject than ask about them.... brush it away... do not engage with anyone about her... she'll play the victim.., 🌺

This is perfect.
bluewindows · 17/11/2020 21:30

Just block her. Don't message or reply, it'll just stoke her fire.
What a nasty piece of work she is. Hold you head high and carry on being you. Don't discuss any reasons with mutual friends.....just say it's time to move on.

mellobrllow · 17/11/2020 21:50

Isn't it sad how people pretend to be your friend and secretly hate you.

OP posts:
bluewindows · 17/11/2020 21:52

@mellobrllow
It's jealousy.

Silverstripe · 17/11/2020 22:02

She sounds like a dick. It’s one thing to be friends with the new girlfriend - she maybe feels obliged as its one of her husband’s friends - but her comments are just really mean and unnecessary.

HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear · 17/11/2020 23:00

@mellobrllow

Would you confront her about her behaviour before I delete her? Or just simply remove without any explanation
I'd just remove her. No drama, no explanation, just as if she never existed. These people love a back and forth game of shitsling and victim playing so she'll never accept what you say.

You're better off just ignoring her.

MaverickDanger · 17/11/2020 23:13

From the timeline, this happened in Feb/March?

Don’t give her the mental space still, just phase her out.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 17/11/2020 23:45

Oh wow, she quite obviously dislikes you. Why do you think that's friendship.

mellobrllow · 18/11/2020 09:12

I don't even think she feels obliged,I genuinely think she doesn't like me.
She was clearly smirking when I was telling her about things going wrong with us.
I guess she might be jealous who knows.
I guess getting rid of people like This is the way forward.

OP posts:
Emus · 18/11/2020 12:58

I'd just delete her with no drama. What a horrible person she sounds, I'm surprised you put up with it for so long to be honest. Block, block, block. 💐

GaryTheDemon · 18/11/2020 13:11

I would quietly slide away as she’d bloody love a reason to be dramatic! Mute the group chat for a year and Archive it (so no ‘Mel left’ notification and you don’t see it). Leave messages or reply briefly, vaguely and late, etc

billy1966 · 18/11/2020 15:28

@BlueThistles

Would you confront her about her behaviour before I delete her? Or just simply remove without any explanation

Nooooooo

All you are doing is giving her gossip fodder to pass around the 'in crowd'

you block her.. on everything and you say nothing...

If people ask why you have done this... say you don't know what they are talking about... and change the subject than ask about them.... brush it away... do not engage with anyone about her... she'll play the victim.., 🌺

Great advice.

Don't both giving her oxygen.

She's a bitch.
You know she's a bitch.
Block her and she'll know that YOU know she's a bitch.

Life is too short to waste time on people like this.
Flowers

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