Don’t do it.
I split from my husband in July 2019. We were tied into an extortionate lease which was fine between the two of us, but would have meant for one to take the lease on solo, a major change in lifestyle was required. He was the cunt - he cheated. He was already in the spare room for a year or so beforehand for various reasons.
He was offered a job in another country, flight booked for 18 March. They closed the borders on 17 March. He’s still here. As well as we get on as mates, it’s completely the elephant in the room that I know he’s still in contact with OW. He doesn’t flaunt it, but I know who it is on the phone if it rings and he leaves the room.
I met someone. It felt awful heading off for the weekend in our shared car (we sold mine in March and I was to have his when he moved) to go and see my new bloke. It didn’t work out, and I put that down to whilst I was technically available, it kinda felt like cheating and I wasn’t as open and free as I should have been.
Everyone says it’s a red flag for a woman if a man won’t invite you to his house, or is cagey around evening phone calls. And if someone claims to be living with an ex
And separated, to not believe them. I know it happens, as I’m in that situation. It just feels like life is on hold until he goes (fingers crossed, very soon due to new job).
It’s not been good for my mental health. There’s no separation, no closure. All the things that annoyed me about him before - minor things like him leaving tea spoons in the side after brewing up, seem so much more terrible now.
Please reconsider, otherwise it’s difficult to move past it.