Living abroad..anyone else?

[Doglovesbooks]

Anyone else live abroad? How do you find it? Do you also find the ex pat community quite bizarre, do you feel lonely ever?
Has anyone lived abroad and returned home to the uk?
Lots of questions, just interested in experiences I guess.

Yes, I lived in mainland Europe for five years, I didn’t find the expat community bizzare, I am unsure why you’d think they would be,

No I wasn’t lonely, it was for my work so socialised with colleagues mainly,

Loved it, didn't find it lonely at all. The opposite in fact as everyone is in the same position.

There's a vast difference between living on a compound in Saudi Arabia to relocating to say Sydney so depends on what and why you want to know really.

Have been in Dubai for ten years. In that time I’ve got married and had two kids. It’s been a really interesting and eye opening experience for us. We’ve met some great people, had some amazing experiences and learned a lot about parts of the world we were previously unfamiliar with.

For visa and cultural reasons, we know we will never fully ‘belong’ but the expat community (what ever that really means) here is so incredibly diverse and welcoming, for now it does feel like our home.

I live abroad as I’m not British. It is lonely, especially when people where you live don’t want foreigners. They hear your accent snd make all kinds of assumptions

When I first arrived, I can’t tell you how often people would try to short change me, hoping I’d be confused about the coins (pound coins in particular).

Now I have it that in my area there are many other people with my accent who are here on cushy expat packages (I’m here as my DH is British) so when I call in tradesmen, I have to try to put on a fake British accent so they don’t over charge me.
It can be lonely if you don’t join an expat group as local people find often want to invest their time getting to know you. After all, they have their friends they grew up with so don’t need more or they hear accent and think why waste time getting to know them when they’ll move on. Conversely, this happens to many of your exist friends - they move on to new postings. So you make lots of acquaintances but few long term for life best buddies because people move on

My best friends are not British but ladies from various other countries married to Brits. I have “friends” who are Brits but not one ever has brought me into their inner circle of long term friends snd I have known them over 25 years. All of my “expat” friends have experienced the same.

Not British but Canadian, but I've been living overseas for almost 17 years now. Currently on my 3rd country and I've been here 10 years.

I will admit that I did find the expat communities a bit odd and insular at first. But after 10 years the friends I'm with now are either local or long termers like myself so it's pretty normal.

I lived in Spain for a few years and have studied abroad too. I returned to the UK in 2019, although I didn't particularly want to, I had to due to personal reasons. I wasn't lonely abroad, for some reason I find it easier to make friends abroad than in the UK. I miss Spain.

Youll probably find an answer to this in the Living Overseas section, since this isn't an aibu.

Also, you're not an expat, you're an immigrant.

I'm an American in the UK, so technically I do 'live abroad', but as a pp says it's very different to, say, living in Qatar as an American, which is what my mom is doing.

For me, I cracked on with normal life there were cultural differences, and for a long time I was the token American friend with outrageous frankness but now I've assimilated.

For my mom, she'll never be Qatari. She has Qatari friends, though, and the expat community is really tight-knit. They seem to look after each other, but there's also kind of a culty closeness. It's like living in a small town, even in the capital, because your social circle is so limited.

I would recommend living abroad to everyone. For me, I would never know yourself or what I'm capable of if I hadn't traveled alone and pushed myself to make a home somewhere new. Others couldn't imagine it, I'm sure. Different strokes!

I live abroad - i don't hang out with the "expat community" although i occasionally meet up with other British people.

It's lovely.

Also, you're not an expat, you're an immigrant.

Only if you intend to stay in a place permanently. I have no intention of living here permanently and intend to repatriate someday. I am an expatriate.

I live abroad, as in moved away from the UK where I lived through high school and university. I now live in a continental European country

I avoided expat groups like the plague, or at least the specific country more insular groups. In my earlier days I mixed with lots of people from different countries, not specifically Brits, but I also put a lot of energy into integrating with local people. I didn’t find it particularly lonely, being able to fit into both local and international groups really helped with friendships and networking connections. Oddly enough I now have more contact with the British expat group through a community initiative I’m involved in, but not at a friendship level.

I’ve now been here over 20 years, I feel one of the locals and am very fond of my adopted country. Would I ever move back to the UK? Extremely unlikely, more so now with Brexit.

When I first arrived, I can’t tell you how often people would try to short change me, hoping I’d be confused about the coins (pound coins in particular).

I’m British and this has happened to me when I’m abroad. Oh, and tradesmen try to overcharge everybody, so I wouldn’t take it personally!

I lived in China for a while. Massive cultural difference but really enjoyed it. I really miss it.

Only if you intend to stay in a place permanently. I have no intention of living here permanently and intend to repatriate someday. I am an expatriate

Funny how that definition only applies to certain people. You don't hear Filipino nurses working for the NHS referred to as "ex-pats", do you?

You don't hear Filipino nurses working for the NHS referred to as "ex-pats", do you?

I don't know any Filipino nurses working for the NHS so I couldn't tell you. The Filipino's I know refer to themselves as expats. Everyone except the locals here refer to themselves as expats.

Just FYI

there is an entire MN board on this subject
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas

I'm in Japan - lived here for nearly 30 years

Spent the last 20 years living various places, moved to the UK for a year when first was a toddler, then off again, and living abroad at the moment.

I like it - kids are pushing secondary, so I think we'll stay put for a bit, and so we picked an english-speaking country to make that easier on us and the kids.

I found the trouble with ex-pats (sweeping generalisation coming up) is that so many were chancers, or singletons/couples out drinking 4 nights a week, and that wasn't a life I wanted to lead forever.

I did appreciate international schools though - putting the kids in a local school, or taking DS1 away from the UK school he was at was much harder on him than changing international schools when we moved - at international schools there's always a turnover, so the kids are more open to new people and don't get sad when someone leaves. Here, DS1 had trouble making friends, because all the kids had been together for years, and friendship groups were already solid.

GoJoe2020
Youll probably find an answer to this in the Living Overseas section, since this isn't an aibu.

Also, you're not an expat, you're an immigrant.

Very helpful GoJoe !!!! Maybe get your facts right first though.

I live in Australia, I'm an expat not an immigrant as I will be moving back to UK in a few years.
We lived here before for a few years and went back to the UK, I found it very easy, but we always knew that we were going back which makes a huge difference.
Having a great time here, not really an expat culture though, my friends are a combination of locals and other Brits.
A good friend did a stint in China and really struggled due to it being so restrictive, she made friends with other wives but never felt at home there and was happy to leave.

This is a pretty broad question. It all massively depends where you live, what your work/family/education situation is to say anything general.

@Melassa Curious to know where you are if you don’t mind me asking?

Sorry if I’ve posted in the wrong place, I didn’t realise.

@Doglovesbooks I’m in Italy

Might be worth requesting MNHQ move this to living overseas for you, threads on AIBU often turn into a fight about people being immigrants not expats which I can see is already starting.
I live abroad, came here as an expat on a 2 year fixed term contract, met my DP and stayed so I guess I'm now an immigrant. I love some aspects of it and hate others e.g. I love the lifestyle and freedom I have here. I hate the endless paperwork and bureaucracy involved in doing absolutely anything as a non-citizen. I sometimes feel lonely but you can feel lonely even in your home country. I don't really mix with the expat community, I did when I first arrived but i'm in an area heavy on NGO workers and I find they're often not my type of people. DP is a local and through him I have met many local people and other expats who have fled the expat scene because they didn't enjoy it.
Why are you asking? are you planning to relocate?

@foresttheout where are you?

Generally don't say without good reason sorry