Evening routine for 7 year old

[MrsHookey]

I work full time, I'm a single parent and collect children from wrap around care at 17:30. What's a good routine then to implement at home? One child has autism and needs some time to let off steam. The seven year old has a home schooled friend who calls around the clock (including midnight) looking for to play roblox together.

I need a better routine than at the moment with a clear visual timetable that everyone understands. They go to sleep around nine currently.

Other child is nearly 9.

What do they need to do before going to bed?
Homework?
Extra curricular activities?
Eat a meal (when is that ready?)
Shower/bath?
Down time?

What time do you want them in bed? Personally I think 9pm is a late bedtime for a 7yo, mine were closer to 7.30 at that age, but we always got up quite early.

All extra curricular activities are pretty much off right now. Homework. We have a meal at 18:00. I would be happy letting them chill for a while after this as it's a long day.

Maybe I do need to bring the bedtimes forward. I also need to give the little friend boundaries on when she can call. I feel sorry for the friend as she is pretty alone. But maybe I should have a time like between 18:30 and 19:00 that they can chat. Is this likely to stop her sleeping though? I'm finding it's getting harder to get her to sleep on time. I need to do one homework at a time and maybe let the other one relax in that time.

Thank you seeline!

I would nip the round the clock calls in the bud! Ridiculous

She you say call do you mean on the phone (in which case turn the ringer off!) Or at the door (in which case turn the doorbell off/don't answer).

Our routine when I worked outside the home was in at 6pm (kids had eaten at childminders). They got 30mins tablet time while I sorted laundry/ran their bath/dishes etc. Then they each got 15-20 mins in the bath, then by 7.15 we were sat watching something together for 20 mins or so. Up to bed for a story, done by 8. The elder one then could read to themselves til 8.30.

Sorry but there is a child phoning your house at all hours to speak to your 7 year old?

Before you do anything you need to address that.

I found once we got into a routine things went a lot smoother. So for the past few years our Routine with DS8 is: home and a snack, usually something healthy but not too filling like crudités, fruit etc. He reads while eating as I’ve noticed he needs a little quiet time right after school. Then after about twenty mins I get him straight on homework at the kitchen table while I prepare dinner So I’m on hand to keep him on task and help out if he needs. He usually has some practice things - times tables etc so depending on homework we do it in one go, but sometimes we need a little break. Usually he’s done before 6 and then I let him play on his switch or look at YouTube for no longer than 45 minutes (I’ve noticed that longer than that he gets a bit wired), then dinner and practice his musical instrument. There may be time for some TV but usually he plays some Lego and then shower/ bed. He’s in bed at 8 and gets a bedtime story and then he reads himself for a bit. Lights out at 9 and he gets up at 7am for school.

the main thing to sort out is the child hassling your kid at all hours to play games that are age inappropriate.

I’d be telling the parent of the feral child calling at midnight to pack it in in no uncertain terms, and blocking them on all channels.

I feel a little sorry for the little girl and I don't answer. She tries to call her on my phone. I sometimes message and say it's too late.

On the calls, I do allow some gaming with friends but usually only on Fridays/weekend and only when all homework and chores are done. I prearrange times with his friends parents and we all agree they can be cancelled if homework etc isn’t complete which has happened so the kids believe us when we say this.

My son’s chores are: bringing his laundry downstairs, emptying the dishwasher and feeding the dog.

Thanks everyone. It's very useful to know how other people do it.

I don’t think you should be giving yourself a hard time. You are working full time and doing what you can. It is great that you recognise some change is needed.
I assume you mean the friend telephones rather than visit due to lockdown?
I would set some boundaries. Personally I like all gaming over before mealtimes so that children learn this is the end until the next day.
After eating we clear up together, one showers and faffs upstairs whilst the other dc gets homework done. This is flexible though, sometimes homework can be done together depends on moods/needs of the children each day.
I put children in bed 15 minutes before I really want them to have lights out because they look at books by themselves for a bit.
Another thing that works is having Friday more relaxed, 30 minutes or so later to bed. They look forward to this. But it depends you might be exhausted and not appreciate a later bed time.
Get a list going of all the tips and advice you think would help. Trial and error.
Put up lists for the children’s expected routines. Try things.
Boundaries for the other dc wanting to be engaged in gaming is key, it’s easy to be the bad guy saying no. Use it as an incentive.

@howtobe

Sorry but there is a child phoning your house at all hours to speak to your 7 year old?

Before you do anything you need to address that.

This!

What parents allows their young child to be awake at 12am and calling people?!

Are you sure there's no neglect going on? Seems a bit strange they "homeschool" her and allow her up at midnight

@liveitwell I do feel uneasy about the other child. The parents seem pleasant and caring on the face of it. She seems fed and watered and they seem to be pleasant to her but she seems to be available for gaming around the clock. I do get maybe I could be judgemental and getting it wrong.

I have a 8 year old, 4 year old and 1 year old. After school we have some play time and the 8 year old goes out too play for a while normally.

Tea time is always as a family around 5.30 normally the kids get electronics or tv from about 6 pm too 6.30 for the youngest. My older child tends too get tv till about 7pm (though in the lighter nights he tends too be out playing). The younger 2 are bathed, put too bed and read a story by 7.20 on a school/nursery night.
My eldest son has autism so routine and sleep is vital. He gets told too go shower around 7.30,bed and sleep by 8.15 ideally.

On weekends we tend too be more relaxed so my eldest is often up till 9.30 but the younger 2 kids are still asleep by 8 pm.

I find the kids particularly my child who has autism gets over stimulated with too much tv or computer games.

I am honestly concerned about this home schooled child who is calling your kids at midnight. That should not be happening and I would be making it clear it doesn’t happen. If the child is up half the night how are they able too learn the next day? It’s a red flag too me.

If I'm honest I have my doubts about how much the child is being home schooled.

I'm also concerned that there's neglect going on. A child who's still up and gaming at midnight won't be doing much learning, I suspect.

Our DD1 (11) stays up late and we're finding it hard to change this, as she's adopted and has SEN. But no way would I let her call her friends at all hours.

Re roblox, it doesn't sound as if they're supervising her, so that would worry me, too. We do supervise our DDs when they're online, but in February I discovered that DD2 (then 7) was being groomed online via roblox; I hadn't realised that there was a chatroom there. (I've changed the settings now.)

We do - home by 17:30, ds has a bit of a chill (playing toys or tv). Tea at 18:00. Any homework after tea (our school doesn’t set loads maybe once a week and it’s nothing onerous). 18:45-19:15 calm activity - usually drawing or he loves to arrange his action figure into displays. Then 19:15 he has a shower (he has a bath twice a week but they are for playing!), pj’s on, drink of milk and a banana usually. Then brush teeth, hop into bed, bed time reading lights out at 7:45. He’s only very recently slept better. He’d be up and getting out of bed continuously but this has settled.

That's shocking Mittens. I bet you were really horrified. Regarding SEN, my other child has to take melatonin to sleep. Otherwise there would be very late nights. He is also throwing a wobbler with homework quite often so this is a challenge too, to manage alongside the usual routine.

I feel I cannot do anything about the other child unless there are more concrete flags. Intuitively I feel uncomfortable.

Thanks everyone. Some great tips to work on. I will get the thinking cap on and get some improvements in place.

And thank you to @Newfornow for your kind words.