Parents in wheelchairs

[BlueEyes31]

Are there any other disabled parents on here? Particularly those in wheelchairs? I have an 8 year and currently pregnant with my second.

I see lots of forms for disabled children, but next to nothing for disabled parents.

@PinkPlantCase

Agreed disabled parents section would be welcomed.

I have chronic pain that’s causes some mobility issues though not a wheelchair user - I’d need an electric one to be able to operate it on high pain days.

Currently pregnant with my first and interested about how others have gotten on with babies/toddlers who need picking up. I can barley lift a 4pt bottle of milk.

I have had some success on the pregnancy board when posting about medication.

I found a snuggle bundle blanket helped a bit with the lifting, and I had a stretchy wrap that I could keep on a lot of the day, and could stick baby in when necessary. I also tried to be very organised, so I wasn’t having to wander about to get things from another room, and I always burped them sitting down. There are YouTube videos on positions for bringing wind up if you’re not familiar with the different positions.

Mumsnet, what happened to the 'Parents with Disabilities'section that you reluctantly put together after able bodied parents urged you (having ignored requests from actual parents with disabilities). Having deleted that section when public pressure was lifted, why are you pretending to be interested now?

@Leaannb

No, having a physical disability is not the same as being special needs. I do not have special needs (hate that phrase with a passion), additional needs or extra needs. I have a disability that means I'm unable to walk.

@96315id
When was that, please?

Can't believe they had one and then removed it!

@Mixedupworld I hate that phrase too! Like yourself I just use a wheelchair and no most thing sitting down.

@BornOnThe4thJuly thanks for the tips!

I hadn’t really thought about how burping would work actually.

Another interesting one would be how people’s birth experiences have been different to perhaps the norm. I’m hoping for a home birth but I don’t know if they’ll look at my notes and get freaked out. When in reality I don’t think my disability makes my pregnancy any higher risk.

See @HopeMumsnet lots of interesting things for us to talk about

@PinkPlantCase You're very welcome. I had planned sections with my 2, so can’t really comment on labour. Family members who’ve had home births all had both doctors and midwives trying to dissuade them though. When I had my sections the anaesthetist was a bit on edge and wanted to do mine first both times as I was the “most complicated”, which surprised me at the time, but turned out to be right unfortunately.

It was roughly seven years ago, maybe six? They said they would do it, then didn't despite months (years?!) Of asking. Then it became high profile on a thread one day and able bodied people thought it was shocking that there wasn't one, or that it was hidden away in special needs. So we got it. Briefly

Mumsnet talks the most disingenuous bs about this. They don't remotely care.

I agree not a parent myself but that’s not uncommon here. Special needs section presumes that you are a carer or child has extra needs not that you the person living with illness or disability is the person wanting to chat.

I’m not a wheelchair user, but I am a mobility scooter user and I have very limited mobility, so I would welcome a disabled parents topic.

@96315id
Aaaah, that makes sense, that’s why I missed it....gave birth and was at my absolute worst then. Unable to function physically & mentally. Thankyou for getting back to me.

Interesting that pregnant has come up here - I had a team of 13 healthcare professionals throughout, practically on a Whatsapp chat who all got called in when I spontaneously went into labour because of the plan that had been put into place.....so going back to
MNHQ’s question about which topics we’d like covered, it sounds like this should be one.

Also agree with the comments about ‘Special Needs’ vs ‘Additional Needs’. Grrrr.

I hope this comes across in the manner in which it was intended. I sincerely apologize if it doesn’t, and is construed as patronising or worse.

My mother was in a wheelchair during my childhood, and had many health issues including chronic pain. We had a different childhood because of it, but a fantastic one. We were so loved, and we grew to be independent and fiercely protective, without ever feeling we were the parent in the relationship. Yes, our mother never did manage to sit on the floor and play with us, and she never played chase. She never swam with us, and she never came into our dens. But she sang, she read, she baked, and she did everything her way. I never ever felt hard done by in any way.

The poster who asked if it might be selfish? Having children is fundamentally selfish for every parent! We have kids because we want them and that’s true whether you are able bodied or not.