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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still think about him every day

4 replies

quineloon · 16/11/2020 18:53

Two summers ago, I had a, for lack of a better word, fling with a man for only 6 weeks. Such a small amount of time but it was very intense and passionate.

I broke it off with him because although when I was with him I felt on top of the world, as soon as I wasn't with him I had this constant knot in my stomach and was filled with constant anxiety. I can't explain it and will never be able to put my finger on it but something didn't sit right with me about him. I could tell he was trying to push my boundaries.

It was an intensity I've never felt before and we were full of "I love you"s by the third date. I believed it at the time but now looking back, I was obviously being foolish but it really was very intense.

I really didn't feel like I had any choice but to end it with him due to the red flags and this massive, overwhelming gut feeling of something not being right about him.

But now, over two years on, I think about this guy everyday, it honestly took me about a year to stop letting it affect my life. Now it no longer does, but he is still there inside my head, every day, maybe not at the forefront anymore but always lurking at the back.

He moved on very quickly from me and that affected me because I now know he was talking absolute shit all the I love you's and future faking.

Surely this isn't normal, to spend just over 6 weeks of your life with someone and still not be over it 2 years later. Am I a psycho? This isn't normal

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 16/11/2020 18:57

I don't think you can set store by what is normal. It is how you feel.

Hang on to the thought that something was not right and you did what was best for you. You may feel like you miss him but you might have 3ended up with more heartache.

Tigrebread · 16/11/2020 19:06

You aren't a psycho. This will pass. I had similar with an ex. It took about 3 years for him not to feature in my thoughts (even though I knew the relationship would have made me deeply unhappy longterm). Don't indulge these thoughts and try not to feel shame about your feelings - you want as little emotion attached to this as possible.

BlueDaysTillChristmas · 16/11/2020 19:07

I have limerence, which is what I think you might have???

I think it’s your minds way of telling you something is wrong or missing from your life. What in your life needs fixing? Your love life (I’m guessing you don’t have one or you would have mentioned it), work, home, friendships, parental figures?

sorrysaywhatnow · 16/11/2020 19:10

Did he lovebomb you? Before mumsnet I never knew this was a thing!

Turns out, it really is. Which is why you may have had such misgivings on some level. Have a google of 'lovebombing' OP.

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