To think I have made the wrong decision?

[blurisiris]

Hi
Not really an AIBU .

I returned to work January when DD was 10 months old

i chose to do the shit shifts so we didn't have to pay so much in childcare & that I didn't have to leave her so much as I was feeling anxious at leaving her

So I work 2 long shifts a week 12.5 hours always a Friday and always a weekend day.

I am always tired as have long days at home with DD who is always on the go and never really naps . Then when everyone else is winding down and looking forward to Friday and the weekend I'm just gearing myself up to do shitty long busy shift.

We hardly get any family time partner works Monday- Friday 8-4. I earn more than him for what I do part time as it's quite well paid .

I literally just do 25 hours as want to minimise the time apart from DD But now I'm thinking who is it actually benefiting ? DD loves nursery on a Friday, I'm sure she would enjoy another couple of days I'm fed up of feeling like a weekend staff: agency staff as you can imagine I'm totally out of the loop only working these days.

I'm considering trying to find a Monday - Thursday job or just any 4 week days I know we would incur childcare costs but I'm so fed up of feeling shit in my job from lack of being there and then shit as a mum as I'm tired . Also sometimes do evenings at work which are crap.

Any ideas welcomed

Made the wrong decision in regards to my working patter that should say. I either feel like a stay at home mum or a worker .

Sorry last thing I have zero fulfilment in my career it has just become a job . There's no progression at all.

You've answered your own question with all your follow up posts.

You're unhappy and there's no job progression. DD loves nursery.

Don't overstretch yourself and ruin your own mental health for no reason.

Could you put her in nursery half days every day switch your shifts until then?

You also need time off too, for you.

I worked 3 days when my boys were under 2. I’m now 30 hrs per week over 4 days.

I use a childminder rather than nursery as it suits us better as a family and suits my boys.

Your pattern sounds awful - you never get any downtime.

I would certainly not choose that pattern if I didn’t have to.

Hi oo,
I've always worked very long shift work and for a short time week days day time.
Honestly,I was more tired,had less time to myself and had no cover with child care of they were ill when working the day times.
Your job is being so well paid,would it enable you to put your baby in nursery an extra day or a couple of afternoons to give you some time to yourself?
Think carefully before committing yourself to longer hours for less pay,if that is your intention.the grass is not always greener,and it may be you flourish with some extra time alone.
Your health comes first,your Sunday's are free,start your weekend then.
Do you have colleagues working the same hours you can socialise with so you don't feel so out of things?
I hope things improve for you

Do it - sounds like the right decision for both of you. I agonized over going back full time, turns out it was 100% the right decision. My daughter loves nursery, and I love having a career and my own money. In this case you'd also get to see your partner more, which has to be a good thing.

For the time being could your child go to nursery on Thursday as well as Friday - so you have a bit of time to get things done or to have time to yourself or rest before your work days?

I work nights, often weekends and my partner days and if our older child says they feel unwell it’s so nice to be able to say “ok stay in bed” without a minor crisis about work. If you intend to have more children the more often there will be sick days and the more you will save on childcare.

Assuming you are required to work some weekends could you ask to alternate 2 weekdays e.g, thurs/fri one week and then one weekend day say fri/sat the next. If you don’t feel able to ask now leave it a while and perhaps in an appraisal say you are finding work/life balance hard always working weekends and could it be reviewed for more balance.