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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can't afford to rent, not eligible for council housing, dad wants me to move out, what do I do?

75 replies

IgorThalia · 16/11/2020 12:22

Been in touch with the council today re getting a council house. Said I'm not eligible because I own a property. My ex lives in this property 200 miles away from me. I can't afford to force a sale as this will cost 7k minimum. He's ignoring all communications to his solicitor about selling the house. It's going nowhere. I can't afford to rent as I have so much debt I am paying off and nearly 1000 of childcare fees every month. My dad has let me live with him for 300 a month but he is getting lodgers in who will be paying much more and needs my room. Fair enough, this was always the plan. I don't really know what to do. Any ideas? Want to feel positive but can't think of any solutions.

OP posts:
IgorThalia · 16/11/2020 21:22

You would have had to pay rent in the Council property too; they’re not free! I know this. Average rent where I love is around 800 for a 3 bed flat. There are some for around 600. Council is average 77 pounds a week

OP posts:
IgorThalia · 16/11/2020 21:23

pack your bags and go and move back in your home yes with my abusive ex who wants to kill me and I have a restraining order against...

OP posts:
Stripesnomore · 16/11/2020 21:27

It is unlikely that a council property is going to be available straight away, but the council might be able to find you a bond scheme so you could move into private rented accommodation.

If you can’t afford rent it will be covered by universal credit. Any debt arrangements can only be agreed based on the income you have left after you have met your housing costs.

RandomMess · 16/11/2020 21:27

Get your Dad to evict you in writing you are then homeless because you can't go back to your house.

The council won't willingly help you but it sounds like legally they have no choice once you are homeless.

Thanks
DianaT1969 · 16/11/2020 21:31

Did you contact Stepchange? Also on your previous thread posters said you were paying too much for childcare. What happened there? If you can get you debt cancelled and pay less childcare, you could pay your dad more and stay there.

Heyahun · 16/11/2020 21:34

You need to force the sale of the house even if it means you lose the equity. At least it will be gone

And you will totally be able to get help towards rent if you are homeless - I think that’s the way you go rather than trying to get a council house tbh - Dad evicts you, go for a private rent flat, or house share as a temporary option - get universal credit towards housing!

Do you get 2 year old funding for your nursery fees?

You should as you are a lone parent.

Winterwoollies · 16/11/2020 21:54

@PhatPhanny it’s not even a long thread... or are you just being a twat?

Viviennemary · 16/11/2020 22:04

He won't be able to go on living there forever. Is there much equity in it. I agree you need to force the sale otherwise you won't be able to move forward as you want to. Your childcare fees are very high. You can't blame your Dad if you've been there for two years now.

IgorThalia · 17/11/2020 07:54

I don't blame my dad at all!

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 17/11/2020 08:23

Shelter is correct. You need to go down the homelessness route though. This means going on the homeless register. This gives you priority for housing. The council housing register and application process, or those managed by third parties will fob you off, even when they know that once you are on the homeless register with a dependent you will be prioritised for housing. You'll need to prove you have absolutely nowhere to live, no money for a deposit, and proof of why you can't occupy the house you part own.

Chasingpandas · 17/11/2020 08:26

Do you need a three bed flat? If all you’ve got at the moment is a room in your dads house why can’t you rent a one bed flat that will be a lot cheaper? If you can get some three beds for £600 and your paying your dad £300 now a one bed should be affordable for you?

LakieLady · 17/11/2020 08:44

Bit left field, but if your debts are really big you could go for bankruptcy and the creditors would either repossess or force a sale of the house. Far from ideal, and would ruin your credit rating, but it's what someone I know did when in a similar position.

The money left from the equity after the sale and repayment of debts was enough for my acquaintance to pay a year's rent upfront for a private rental, and after 2 years the bankruptcy was discharged.

Anyway, a PP was right, if there has been DA which prevents you from remaining in your former home, the council should help if you are homeless. The restraining order should be evidence enough.

The fact that you are unable to sell because of your ex's intransigence and unable to live there because of DA will mean that the capital tied up in the house is disregarded and you will be entitled to help with rental costs if you qualify on income grounds.

With regard to the legal side of things, I couldn't afford a solicitor to represent me in my divorce. I saw one twice for advice and did all my own paperwork, and represented myself. It's also worth pointing out that legal aid is still available for some proceedings where there has been DV, but I don't know if this extends to occupation orders.

The National Domsetic Abuse helpline give very good advice re this sort of stuff.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 17/11/2020 09:01

OP you must get the ball rolling in regards to getting your share of the house. You won't be able to move on properly until it's finalised. Maybe you'd be entitled to legal aid for a solicitor, I don't know.

Sootyandsweep2019 · 17/11/2020 09:09

Op, I haven't read the whole thread but if you are fleeing home because of DV, ( including the threat of violence), then you are counted as homeless and your council had a legal duty to house you.

I would advise you to contact Shelter for advice asap.

Sounds like a very stressful situation, don't know why some earlier posters have been so rude.

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/11/2020 09:11

I don’t know where you are but a friend lived in a studio flat for a few years when her Ds was little.
Could you afford something like that.
I have a couple of friends who have had a sofa bed in the living room and the children have taken the 1 bedroom of the flat.

Porcupineinwaiting · 17/11/2020 09:14

In fairness to some of the very early posters, it wasnt clearfrom the OP that DV was a factor, which is pretty crucial to her housing status.

IgorThalia · 17/11/2020 09:28

Sorry. I didn't make it clear that there was DV involved in my OP.

OP posts:
DumplingsAndStew · 17/11/2020 09:33

Less than two weeks ago, you were referring to wanting to drop a parcel off on your dad's doorstep for his birthday.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a4070948-royal-mail-delays?msgid=101485319#101485319

Where were you living then? As obviously not with him. Can you to back there?

ScrollEatSleepRepeat · 17/11/2020 09:42

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IgorThalia · 17/11/2020 10:16

I was staying with my fairly new partner whilst there was work being done on my dad's house ready for lodgers to move in. There was no electric or hot water. I can't go back there as whilst we are still friends, he called things offSad

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 17/11/2020 10:34

Igor, you are homeless, make a homeless application to join your council homelessness register. They have to help you find somewhere within a designated time frame.

Nicknacky · 17/11/2020 10:36

Have you phoned shelter yet?

DumplingsAndStew · 17/11/2020 10:36

@IgorThalia

I was staying with my fairly new partner whilst there was work being done on my dad's house ready for lodgers to move in. There was no electric or hot water. I can't go back there as whilst we are still friends, he called things offSad
Sorry to hear that Sad

So you've been with your parents less than two week and they already want you out? That sucks. Have you looked at the possibility of upping your financial contribution to whatever they would get from a lodger?

IgorThalia · 17/11/2020 10:59

I have phoned shelter. I phoned the council back and they're getting a housing officer to call me today.

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 17/11/2020 13:33

Igor it might be worth asking your dad to put in writing the temporary nature of your staying with him, and giving notice for you to leave. Good luck.

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