Not to give my mother a Christmas present

[Greycatgingercat]

She is incredibly fussy and difficult to buy for. If I give her vouchers 'she can't find anything in that shop that she likes'. For her birthday I usually give her money to get her hair done, but for Christmas I have absolutely no idea what to give her. DD likes to give her framed photos of them together and she really loves those, but she probably wouldn't appreciate one from me 🤣

Fussy people are rude and get on my nerves. Even worse is being asked to just give money so they can find something they’ll actually like ... for Fathers Day 🤔
Give her a mince pie and a smile.

How about an experience? As well as the usual restaurant, theatre etc look online for ideas there are some fantastic and unusual experiences available.

I would get her flowers and a card. Getting her nothing is quite extreme, but I don't blame you. Ungrateful and difficult in equal measure.

Be aware the experiences etc will not be running for the foreseeable future.

Something edible/drinkable of the sort she usually gets but better quality

A years subscription to a magazine that she would be interested in.

I have a family member like this, only happy if given money and even then needs to be a large amount (more than what my own parents give me for my birthday/Christmas ). This year they’re getting nothing.
I hate fussy people; just be greatful for what you get.

Fancy chocolates? Fortnum and mason tea and cookies?

Hampers work well in this situation, try and find a local deli perhaps to help a small business

I hate fussy people; just be greatful for what you get.

I agree. I hate most tat too but I'll always feign enthusiasm and thank them because it's very nice that they spend time, energy and money to give me something that they'll think I enjoy. Everyone should really appreciate the loving thought behind the present. It's not about the present itself.

Flowers/Christmas centerpiece.
Or cash in an envelope for when the hairdressers open if she wouldn't appreciate the above.

Does she want a present? I'm probably what people on here call "fussy" but I fully recognise this and tell people I'd rather they bought nothing than something I don't want.

You could just ask her, but I agree that ingratitude and fussiness is bad.

Afternoon tea for 2 voucher, garden centre vouchers if she has a garden, Christmas floral display, photo calendar where you could use photos past and present that have meaning for her.

I vote for flowers. If she doesn't really like them, there is no longterm clutter as they'll soon be in the compost heap. Ideal gift for people who have too much stuff or don't really want anything particular.

I have mum who is impossible to please. I used to put in so much effort buying her a gift until I realised nothing would ever be good enough because it was actually one of her little games. I'm very low contact with her. Now she gets a bunch of flowers, if she's lucky.

Can you give a donation to charity for her ? Oxfam / Wateraid type ?

a bottle of something you know she'd enjoyed before and some chocolates/sweets/cheese you know she's eaten before.

If she complains tell her that's very rude and that she's never getting anything else?

I think I'd probably be blunt about it and say, Shopping is very difficult this year - so unless you tell me exactly what you'd like for Christmas I won't be getting you anything. I'm happy to buy you a gift, but you'll need to be specific about what you want.

I would just get a nice Poinsetta or tin of Christmas Biccies from M &S or Waitrose .We used to do this for my Nan .Went down well .Or just a nice bottle of Red Wine or some brandy/liqueurs ?

Have you asked her what she would like?
I would buy her something she can use of there's nothing she wants.
Plus flowers.a hamper of food and drinks she likes?

Thanks everyone for the ideas. I think I'll look into making her a food hamper of things I know she likes.

I think I'll look into making her a food hamper of things I know she likes. Don't invest too much emotion into it. There's always a risk that she'll find fault. If you do it expecting that, it won't hurt as much if it happens.

everyone likes something, theres no one that hates every single thing you just have to put effort into getting to know what it is which is kind of the point of gift giving.

A calender with pics of your dd and her and your dd