To ask if there are other WOMEN who can't produce a Xmas dinner

[JudyShakes]

Every year on MN there are threads started by women saying that are fed up of doing Christmas dinner, or they don't feel well enough this year etc. And posters will pipe up "get DH/DP to do it!"

DH does the Christmas and most other cooking here. Am I the only FEMALE who would really struggle to produce a Xmas meal that was special enough to deserve the name?

The big stupid roast just absolutely ruins Christmas day. It's not the past any more, it's not an amazing special feast of foods that we could never normally eat. Hours spent making the same food we could all eat every day of the week on a day that should just be spent happily soaking up our children's joy

Can't you "soak up your childrens joy " every other day of the year as well?
If xmas isn't special and doesn't deserve special food, why does it matter at all?

I don't get the trauma that apparently comes with cooking Xmas dinner. It's a Sunday roast, with pigs in blankets. Chill out.

I really don't have time for Xmas mummy/daddy martyrs - the ones who (when no one asked them to) wake up at the arse crack of dawn to put the turkey on, make 14 different kinds of veg, flap all day about the timings, moan that no one is helping, practically give themselves a stroke over the whole thing to cook way too much and spend too little time with their family. My mum was like this,my memories of Christmas were her barely seeing us because she was stressing out in the kitchen and when she did see us she was moody and snappy.

People like this always over-do it which leads to a massive fucking waste of food too, we should all know better.

The one time I cooked a full on Christmas Dinner from scratch was the year I discovered on Christmas Eve (at gone midnight) that my then fiance was having second thoughts.

Had to host my parents for Christmas Day, our friends for Boxing Day and we split the day after.

Subsequently discovered he was having an emotional affair (at least) with a colleague.

Can't do it now without thinking of that so generally take the shortcuts version. There's only me and DD usually anyway so not worth the faff.

When I was still with exH, the best Christmas dinner we had was when I made a Mexican feast - turkey (just had breasts bought in) tacos, turkey fajitas, nachos, and enchiladas. It was amazing. This year it's just me and the 2 DC, I'll be getting what I get for a Sunday dinner, including pre-prepared roasts, gravy and microwave veg. Life is too fucking short.

@GlummyMcGlummerson
Absolutely that , spot on

Am I the only FEMALE who would really struggle to produce a Xmas meal that was special enough to deserve the name?

Why the emphasis on FEMALE? Are wimmin supposed to be inherently competent at producing a Christmas meal or something?

To a PP - Do men call themselves "slatterns" if they're unable to cook a Christmas meal?

Never done a Christmas dinner in my life. I’m veggie and don’t know how to cook the meat, nor do I really want to.

My mum hates cooking and she hasn’t cooked one to my knowledge either. It was always my dad’s job.

I love cooking. Just not Christmas dinner. I would and could do it if I had to.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I don't get the trauma that apparently comes with cooking Xmas dinner. It's a Sunday roast, with pigs in blankets. Chill out.

I really don't have time for Xmas mummy/daddy martyrs - the ones who (when no one asked them to) wake up at the arse crack of dawn to put the turkey on, make 14 different kinds of veg, flap all day about the timings, moan that no one is helping, practically give themselves a stroke over the whole thing to cook way too much and spend too little time with their family. My mum was like this,my memories of Christmas were her barely seeing us because she was stressing out in the kitchen and when she did see us she was moody and snappy.

People like this always over-do it which leads to a massive fucking waste of food too, we should all know better.

Yep, some MNetters are like a living breathing Asda advert.

@Laufeythejust

We are an excellent tag team Xmas eve and morning (probably due to the baileys!). Everything peeled and in the pan filled with water night before then turkey in in the morning. Tray ready with stuffing/ pigs in blankets, tray of parboiled potato’s and duck fat, tray of carrots and parsnips with oil and honey, tray of Yorkshire’s. Pan of Mashable spuds and another with Brussels, frying pan of bacon for frying the Brussels towards the end. Alexa set with a timer when to put each thing in and when to take it out, another every half hour for basting the turkey. It’s all about prep and timing. Piece of cake when there’s 2 of you!

2 or 12, it's just a matter of scale. One tip I was given by an excellent chef involves prepping all the vegetables to day before, even two days, par cook then, chill rapidly, dry off and place in serving dishes with a knob of butter, cover with foil and on the day stick them into the oven with the roast potatoes. They come from the oven to the table, I usually have one pan on the day, as well as the roasting tin.

I can but dm can't. Every year she's start and by 10.30 be soused on sherry and need a lie down by which point my dad my brother and I would take it in turns to finish.

Bless her, it was the only day of the year she'd have more than 1 drink - the stress got to her every time no matter how many tines we offered to help/do it.

I have an aura that can fuck up food from a 1000 paces. It’s actually quite magical

I have the aura too! I like the thought of it being a superpower

I'm a pretty decent cook, but DP always does Christmas dinner. I do a starter.

If xmas isn't special and doesn't deserve special food, why does it matter at all?

But it's not fucking special. It's just a glorified roast dinner and here in 2020, having had roast dinners as a constant throughout my 42 years on earth, I fail to see what the fuck is 'special' about it. It's boring. I mean it's fine, but it's a tonne of faff for some mediocre flavours and textures. Compared to tandoori cooked meats, a good curry, a flavoursome Mexican dish (even tex-mex/cali-mex, tbh), hoisin duck or a good lasagna, it has fuck all 'special' about it. Even the best roast in the world doesn't taste any better than a decent shepherds pie or good stew.

And no, I can't enjoy my child's joy at Santa's bounty any other day of the year. But I could have a boring roast dinner for breakfast lunch and tea 365/6 days a year if I felt so inclined. Nothing about bog-standard with extra faff roast dinner makes Christmas special.

Then make something else and stop being so weirdly angry about a dinner you don't want.

Christ.

OH does most of the special occasion cooking (also most weekend dinners too). It's not that I can't, & for occasions like Christmas or family gatherings we both work together, but he likes to cook, he finds it relaxing & it works for us.

Also as a young child, I could never understand why my mum was so snappy, grumpy and irritable on Christmas day over the sake of a dinner that most kids would happily do without.

In fact, one look at my mum's stressed face and most of the adults would've happily done without it too.

It's just food at the end of the day and I don't know why some people would rather ruin their own Christmas (and sometimes everyone else's), than just scale it right down. Especially after all the stress and expense of the Christmas shopping/wrapping etc that some people start in Summer.

Just chill out and stop trying to be Nigella if it causes that much of a headache.

I literally don’t cook anything 😳 I don’t enjoy it, partner does, so why would I bother. Obviously very very basic stuff I could do if it came to it, but like I said I don’t need to, so don’t bother 🤷🏻‍♀️
And I’m not organised enough to cook a Christmas dinner and again wouldn’t enjoy doing it where as when we go to my partners family on Christmas Day, he and his brothers genuinely enjoy cooking it all together!

I've been doing it since 1998 so I have the hang of it now through sheer practice. I wouldn't call myself a brilliant cook and my husband does most of the day-to-day cooking.

I'm not one who particularly enjoys cooking, I do the bare minimum to achieve maximum effect if I can.

I know who likes which elements of Christmas dinner and make sure that I can get as much of that done in advance, if possible. Chemistry rules. If it needs to be last minute then that takes priority (yorkshire puddings).

My husband doesn't cook so it's just me that does it. I will set him on task with a peeler but he's so distracted with kids/what's on the telly that it's quicker to do it myself (in advance!)..

I think OP, we just have to shut our eyes to what other people are doing (or say they're doing), it's not relevant and, if it makes us feel lacking, then it's not worth it. Some women (particularly) absolutely love to 'do Christmas'. Great, good for them. I don't need to tie myself in knots to compete and I don't.

Do whatever makes your life nicer/easier, that's my take on it.

@LasagneQueen

The one time I cooked a full on Christmas Dinner from scratch was the year I discovered on Christmas Eve (at gone midnight) that my then fiance was having second thoughts.

Had to host my parents for Christmas Day, our friends for Boxing Day and we split the day after.

Subsequently discovered he was having an emotional affair (at least) with a colleague.

Can't do it now without thinking of that so generally take the shortcuts version. There's only me and DD usually anyway so not worth the faff.

That is really shit, LasagneQueen... such a lot of 'saving face'. Must have been awful for you.

Also as a young child, I could never understand why my mum was so snappy, grumpy and irritable on Christmas day over the sake of a dinner that most kids would happily do without

My MiL was like this. She's an excellent cook but the timings of the huge variety of foods she deemed essential for Xmas dinner would overwhelm her. She wouldn't accept any help in "her" kitchen and her guests would sit there feeling tense and guilty.

I plan to buy the ready prepped stuff you just put in the oven and steam some veg.

Really hoping I'll be able to go to my mum's still though it's looking less and less likely.

Move to the southern hemisphere.
Have BBQ on Christmas Day.
Profit.

Most people can do it really, it’s not that difficult. I think it’s lazy to say you’re incapable without really trying.

I'm hopeless. Too much to remember. It's much more sensible to leave it to the good cooks who enjoy doing it.