To ask if there are other WOMEN who can't produce a Xmas dinner

[JudyShakes]

Every year on MN there are threads started by women saying that are fed up of doing Christmas dinner, or they don't feel well enough this year etc. And posters will pipe up "get DH/DP to do it!"

DH does the Christmas and most other cooking here. Am I the only FEMALE who would really struggle to produce a Xmas meal that was special enough to deserve the name?

It sounds to me like the word shouldn't be 'can't' but 'won't' since anyone can if they put their mind to it. Seems like you just don't want to, which is fair enough, especially if your DH enjoys cooking.

Years ago my boss had married an American woman who was keen to do the whole Christmas lunch thing. It wasn't until after the lunch he discovered that her mother had advised her to wrap the turkey in muslin and to keep it basted to keep it moist. In the absence of muslin, she had used one of his linen shirts which cost megabucks. He was not amused.

@DumplingsAndStew

When you were assigned female at birth, did they not drop off the courtesy goody bag of oven mitts and cookery book with your vagina?

I'd ask for a refund.

DH is such a good cook and all round multi-tasker I think he was born into the wrong body

I think the only difficult thing about Christmas dinner is getting everything ready at the same time, and to the table whilst it is still hot. When I first did it I wrote a reverse timetable, starting with what time I wanted to serve it, which helped me figure out what time to do each step. The actual cooking is straightforward but timing can be a bit tricky if you aren't used to it.
But ultimately it is the people that make Christmas, not some fancy dressing on the sprouts and it isn't worth getting stressed over.

I can't. But I'm veggie so in my house, DH is in charge of any roasts that are made. I'm happy to help with the vegetables.

Surely Wendy Craig's character in Butterflies must have been based on someone Carla Lane knew?

(RIP Geoffrey Palmer).

My mum has the Delia Christmas book and she has a timetable in there where she gets up at 5am on Christmas morning, with only a break for 15 minutes to unwrap presents, in order to get lunch on the table.

I don’t mind putting effort into the Christmas dinner, but not to that level. Fuck that.

DH is in charge of roast dinners here so I wouldn’t have a clue. I peel veg and set the table.
I do cook but usually curries, pasta dishes etc.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace is that because you don't like eating them?

Absolutely not. It's because I'm single (no need for family roast dinners) and I loathe cooking. Having said that, I'm currently on a strict eating regime as I need to keep myself in perfect shape for events taking place next year ....

It may be shocking (to some) that I never learnt to cook but .... I have no partner, no children and don't plan on that changing. I can feed myself perfectly well (chicken, rice, porridge, eggs, fruit and vegetables) perfectly fine.

I'm 53 and in pretty damn fine shape

In the off season (when I can relax my diet), I just go out for dinner as I fancy it

Yes, I can cook a christmas dinner. However I also can't. I'm in a wheelchair, paralysed from waist down, have chronic back pain in my upper back which can give me spasms. So even though I live in an adapted flat with wheelchair friendly work surfaces, I would be unable to produce a christmas dinner.

I struggle to boil water! My brother normally cooks for us and I will go and collect my xmas lunch if I have to.

I used to but haven't for years.
I don't think I could do the standard lunch done in this country though.

I sure miss my mum's Christmas dinners. She was an awesome cook.
My son and daughter are pretty decent cooks.

I could if I wanted to but dh cooks any way. On top of it I am 25 years veggie so of no use as far as the meat is concerned. Dh cooks the meal and a seperate meal for me.

I think the stress situations come from where someone is cooking in a normal size kitchen for over 6 people, that would stress me out.

Then I end up having to eat loads of food that I genuinely don't want to eat. If I'm going to stuff myself into an uncomfortable level of food, it better be absolutely delicious, not a boring, overly complicated roast.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall seeing you pinned down, while your mum forces an uncomfortable level of food into your mouth and presses your jaws up and down

This thread has made me feel sooo much better.

I had two boyfriends in a row who got all sneery about food and expected bloody master chef on Xmas day.
I can cook a decent roast dinner which ds & I both like. Anything extra fancy has to come premade from a shop.
Xmas is meant to be a holiday, not a culinary obstacle course.

Kids get excited when something isn’t burnt. Thanks for that, having a bad day and you made me smile!

My husband cooks for himself every day, and also does Christmas dinner.

I can make a roastie though. Christmas dinner is kind of a glorified roastie isn’t it

Thanksgiving is coming up here in the US so roast turkey with all the trimmings is the usual fare.

Everyone’s been advised to stay at home this year, no extended family gatherings...which will suit my SIL who can’t/won’t cook a dinner but normally expects everyone to come to her house... we have to split the cost of ordering a dinner from a local supermarket, because we can hardly bring a cooked turkey on a plane with us. Strangely, it’s fine for our dog to be at a dog sitter while we visit.🤣

I’m quite happy to cook everything at home this year, the family will help. And it’ll taste better.

Rant over.😉

I can't cook a Christmas dinner, Sunday roast or anything that doesn't need heating up out of the freezer really, DH does it. You're not alone!

I cooked roast lamb yesterday with roast potatoes , mashed swede and mashed carrots , Yorkshire pudding and gravy
The only difference between that and a Christmas dinner is pigs and blankets which if shop bought requires shoving in the oven for 20 minutes in the foil tray provided And the fact that Christmas dinner is turkey not lamb, it has bread sauce as well as gravy, there's stuffing as well, and brussels sprouts, and the turkey fills the oven so you have to parboil the roast potatoes so they can be finished while the turkey is resting and you're doing the Yorkshire puds, so there isn't really room to do as another poster says "prepare the veg and put them in the serving dish then just pop them in the over with the roasties". You're also making sure the pudding will be ready in time, and thinking about when you will fit in making the custard.

There's a reason we only do it once a year.

The first couple of times I did it I struggled tbh. I was a mess, and the fact there were no fires and some semi-edible food was a mini miracle. QA bit like the first couple of times I cooked a roast dinner or a cooked breakfast. They are about practice and timing, though. I make both a cooked breakfast (Saturday) and roast dinner (Sunday) most weeks now, whilst cleaning, doing laundry and looking after my kids, so cooking Christmas dinner with jobs done and kids watched would be pretty peaceful. I may even be doing just that this year!
I used to get stuck in and then worry about timings and preparing veg etc. Now I spend more time planning and prepping than cooking, and with Christmas it's a good idea to start the day before, or even have some sides ready in the freezer or bought in pre-made. I used to be a pretty crap cook, but I am patient and have persevered. There is usually somebody willing to cook though, I find it's the cleaners and dish washers that are in short supply once the festivities are in motion! Nobody will ever give a shit if you can cook or not if you always offer to clean up/do the dishes!

I've got children who think that microwave pasta bakes and school dinners are nirvana compared to my cooking - I do a lot of it because it's a chore you have to do often but DH much prefers hiding out in the kitchen at Christmas and spending 4 hours doing dinner. His cooking is far superior.

Another here one who struggles with it. I don't struggle with the quality of food as what I make is, though I say so myself, rather tasty. But I have a quite small kitchen and in previous years have been bad at doing any prep the day before so it takes me absolutely HOURS to get to the end result. I miss most of the day cooking :( but dp and kids flitter in and out, I get to watch whatever I want in the kitchen, Christmassy or not, and I have myself something nice to drink (though most years so far I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding so no alcohol ).

This year I will be prepping ahead, buying some bits ready made on food to order and will be able to have a drink. I'm really looking forward to it :)

We could both do it but we prefer sharing the responsibility. DP takes the lead on the turkey and I sort the rest out. It works really well- the dinner is always lovely and no one is annoyed that the other person sat with their feet up the whole time.

It's quite hard to mess up things like roasties and pigs in blankets, though? I totally understand stressing over the turkey but everything is is fairly simple.

I can't, and I can't do a roast dinner either. I have aspergers and find cooking very stressful in general due to executive functioning deficits. Cooking multiple items to all be ready at the same time induces accute anxiety which I'd rather forgo. Fortunately the two LTR's I've had have been with men who love cooking. They both professed to find it relaxing! This year it'll be just me and the DC and I'll be buying ready prepared everything. The only thing DC's really care about are pigs in blankets and pudding, so their standards are mercifully low

I could do it, but DH enjoys cooking and trying things and is better at it. So it's on him!