Should I return to work

[Spotify82]

So I was about to go back to work after I emailed my employer I was ok. I thought I could manage my symptoms. I have quite a few severe ones. However the painful symptoms started again and I am under investigations. The painful symptoms cause me to take co codamol. I'm up every hour at night if not more. I've been like this for 5 weeks now. I feel bad I have had 5 weeks off work. I'm not sure. I have a meeting which I arranged.
O.s my employer has been very accommodating and really helpful. In fact I feel bad leaving them in the lurch. I intend to fully explain everything at my meeting.
Any advice if I should return and suffer or should I return when I am fully well.

I would take advice of your doctor. You don’t sound well enough to work to me based on your post.

@PlanDeRaccordement

I would take advice of your doctor. You don’t sound well enough to work to me based on your post.

Thank you. I think my brother and sister are stressing me out a bit by saying I should go back only for my mental health. But if I could physically manage I would. I will speak to my gp see what they say.

Do doctors know what’s wrong OP?

Lots of people work whilst taking co-codamol for long term pain management but I imagine the lack of sleep could make things very difficult!

Could you consider a phased return or work from home for less hours? For me I think it would come down to finances, especially if you have a problem that could be long term.

@PinkPlantCase

Do doctors know what’s wrong OP?

Lots of people work whilst taking co-codamol for long term pain management but I imagine the lack of sleep could make things very difficult!

Could you consider a phased return or work from home for less hours? For me I think it would come down to finances, especially if you have a problem that could be long term.

I'm being refrred to gyne finally and waiting for results of a CT scan. I'm an exteemly light weight I hardly took paracetamol. Plus I'm a teacher. That's why the lack of sleep and being drugged up is hard to cope with. I dont know. I think I might ask they let me try a day and see how I go. The gps have refrred me for various scans and procedures.

Yes OP I can see how being a teacher would make a big difference to home much you’re able to soldier through the pain. Quite different to someone who can work from home and arrange their work to do easy task on a high pain day.

On the plus side I assume that your sickness package is fairly good? Compared to the private sector at least so less need to rush back if you aren’t ready.

Sorry to hear you’re having such a rotten time. Hope the doctors get on top of it soon.

@PinkPlantCase

Yes OP I can see how being a teacher would make a big difference to home much you’re able to soldier through the pain. Quite different to someone who can work from home and arrange their work to do easy task on a high pain day.

On the plus side I assume that your sickness package is fairly good? Compared to the private sector at least so less need to rush back if you aren’t ready.

Sorry to hear you’re having such a rotten time. Hope the doctors get on top of it soon.

Thank you. I've rang the doctor and explained and he suggested I get better. Is there anyone else that feels this guilty about not going to work? I feel so rotten. I've been signed off for a further two weeks.

I don’t know any teachers who don’t feel absolutely riddled with guilt when they take time off. I get it.

Focus on the fact that your class will be better off with stability rather than you dropping in and out. And at the moment they’ll be better with a teacher who is able to give them all their attention. Being in pain and having no sleep will mean you won’t be at your best for them.

You can’t help being unwell. You’re allowed to be off.

If this is something long term like endometriosis then ask to be referred to occupational health so you have a proper plan in place.

Hey honey, you should be able to see occupational health via work. They can arrange a phased return to work so that you can build up slowly and manage the pain. They will assess what is right for you depending on how you feel. They can also suggest things that work can do to help such as equipment etc. It might be that you just take 1 class back on this only teaching once a day for the 1st 2 weeks. I hope you start to improve soon. Sending hugs xx

Thank you. After 2 scans and one very invasive procedure (cystoscopy) I've been refrred for endometriosis of the bladder. I just hate that my school and the kids are having to pay for this. I have a meeting with the head tommorrow and unfortunately after suggesting I'm ready to come back, I will have to inform her I can't. Thank you for your reply. I'm glad. I mentioned to my brother I feel anxiety when I'm not there do you ' he said no not if I'm genuinly unwell' so I started fretting g questioning myself if I'm really that unwell or am I telling myself that. And to be upfront...when crying and grabbing the radiator while passing water with clots leaving my urinary tract, I think no I'm not!

Exactly, you feel the pain - your brother doesn’t. You won’t be doing you or your class any favours by going back before you’ve got this under control. Endometriosis is horrid, you have my sympathies. As well as your current consultant I would ask for a referral to the pain clinic later down the line if codiene isn’t working for you. (and, I’m going to say again just to push the point, occupational health). I also really recommend EndometriosisUK if you need a bit of support or advice.

Oh gosh that is aweful. As a fellow endo sufferer (and I teach and work in schools) I totally feel your pain. I've had surgery and everything over the last few years. I went on to the medical menopause in the end for 1 year (pro strap) and it was bloody amazing. I've been off it forn9 months and the symptoms are slowly coming back but I know I have that to fall back on. I also found the mirena coil helped ease symptoms too. Sending so much love xxx

Hello. I will wait for this to be cleared. I can't speak loud without blood and urine passing out. If you imagine needing a wee and your body naturally holding it in. Well when I have my flow my urethra is naturally holding it and it doesn't hold, it just flows. If I walk with speed or a bit too much there is this pulling pain. I tried today to practice only ibuprofen and I'm getting a stabbing pain.

You're right though I won't be fair to my kids at school.

I have been recommended the pill however I am /was trying for a baby so don't want that. I'm 38 and have been refrred for IVF.

I think to teach you have to be mentally physically and emotionally well and and stable. I'm not any of those. When I think about how long I've been in this pain(4 to 5 weeks) I feel suffocated. It is relentless. But the biggest anxiety is what they will think of me at school.

I am not sure how I get in contact with occupational health? Is it through school?

Oh honey! You need to take time to recover! Or at least look at what is causing it. If you are a state school occy health will be via the council but your school he/business manager should refer you. Xx

Yes your school will refer you. Ask your line manager (or the head as you have a meeting with them anyway).

Schools often have free counselling available (again, you can ask in your meeting). I think it’s three sessions through Time to Talk but I might be wrong. It might be good to have a chat about all this.

School need to know the seriousness of it but also they’ll be glad to see that you’re being sensible, proactive and looking forward to the future when your condition is managed and you feel better.

Yeah that's true. I mean after i had a clear cystoscopy i decided i would go back and the pain is managed fine with pain killers. I have a fairly high threshold and as women we get used to odd ache an cramp. The urinary incontinence I can use tena pads for and the frequent loo breaks the head would find a solution (I'm going every half hour- it was about 16 to 20 minutes on friday and Saturday the heaviest of my flow days.)

However the pain when I'm passing blood is something else. I cannot explain. I sometimes even on pain killers keep over because there is a sharp pain passing through as the blood passes. All this is not suitable to do or feel in front of a class in an extremly challenging school.
While I'm happy to return once the symtoms to ease, I love my job.

Should I still attend this meeting tommorrow and hand the sick note to them as well? Or should I email the head and explain? I don't want her to think I've taken up her time needlessly when I wasnt going to return?

I am happy to attend the meeting and actually explain fully even though the walking and sitting g hurts. I still want that chance only so she knows I'm not being overly dramatic. But I'm cautious she might wonder why I wasted her time when I had no intention of coming back.

This lack of sleep is making me stupidly paranoid btw and very aprt of obsessive.

That sounds really awful. I would email the head and explain and ask if they still want the meeting tomorrow, rather than just arriving with the sick note. That gives them the opportunity to think about the situation rather than them thinking about a phased return to work or suitable adjustments they could make and then being thrown when you give them the sick note.

I agree, I would call her rather than email but yes - explain where you’re at at the moment, that you’re waiting for appointments and trying to work out the right level/type of pain relief, ask for OH and see if she’d still like you to attend the meeting.

Thank you to both of you dears for this advice it really helps. I'll email her now. The last thing I want is them to be annoyed tommorrow. I'm not sure how to contact her by phone.

I've emailed her. I feel so so embarrassed and such a nuisance. I hope she doesn't think I'm an utter a hole. I'm scared of being thought of as someone who is not even willing to try. But I I genuinly cannot. Even though I was the one who suggested I return. Ugh I'm an idiot.

To be honest we have 1 teacher testing positive every day almost. It just occured to me that while I'm going to work and if I test positive I wont be able to attend any appointment anyway which will delay things even more. My very good friend at work tested positive while I was away and we are always on lunch or break together. I don't want to bring that up as then it may seem as though 'oh she is avoiding catching COVID. '

Any sick note has been sent along with an explanation and asking if she still 2ants the appointment and that I'm happy.

I think my cocodamol is wearing off. I'm starting to see the poor paragraph and sentence construction.

Well done. Hopefully she’ll get back to you today so you know where you stand. The anxiety won’t be helping your pain levels, I bet you’ll feel a lot better when this is sorted.