Is my friend BU about returning to work?

[user976124]

My friend was diagnosed with cancer in Feb (fairly easy to treat) and has had treatment in June delayed due to the pandemic.
She has been off work sick since Feb and I have seen how badly she has been affected by the diagnosis (i think that coping with it during a pandemic has made everything ten times worse).
Now she is determined to be back in work by the beginning of December as she doesn't want to let her colleagues down at Christmas. She works in retail and it is a highly stressful and busy time. She told me she has bad anxiety about returning but feels she has to be back before the end of the year.
Im worried about her as I don't think she will cope going back at such a busy time and would be better going back in January when it is quieter. I don't think she will have much support at work as her colleagues don't know about the cancer.
I know it is her decision but just want to be as supportive to her as possible.
Do you think she is BU?

Mentally being busy and having some normality back in her life might help her especially if she is all clear and fit to work, so I would say she isn’t BU

Does she need the money, perhaps?

Also, given that she's been off for so long, surely colleagues must have an idea that she has been quite ill? Or has she been furloughed?

If it's a large retailer they'll probably refer her to occupational health before she returns. After such a long absence they'd normally recommend a phased return, starting off on reduced hours and working back up to full hours as she feels able. Could you suggest that she asks work if that might be possible?

Some employers will offer full pay during a phased return. Alternatively she's going to have a good amount of annual leave accrued, so could use that to cover the hours she's not working?

@FredtheFerret

Does she need the money, perhaps?

Also, given that she's been off for so long, surely colleagues must have an idea that she has been quite ill? Or has she been furloughed?

No she doesn't need the money she told me she doesn't need to return yet as she has enough money to get by. Her colleagues know she had an operation but don't know about the cancer, so they think she is off recovering from the op.

YABU. Surely this will be down to her/her doctor/occupational health unit. You shouldn't get any say. Its nice.that you want to look out for her but it's not your decision so just.support her.in whatever she feels is right

She'd have to be crazy to go back at the moment. Is she so bored at home?

@HollowTalk

She'd have to be crazy to go back at the moment. Is she so bored at home?

No she's not bored at home just feels like she is letting her colleagues down.

Her colleagues will know she was very ill as 9 months is quite a long time for an operation recovery. There are also ( if it’s still the same staff there) to ask how she is, at which point she can tell them still knackered and explain it was a cancer op if she so wishes.

Does she have occupational health? Worth telling them how she feels. They should be recommending a phased return after so long off, short shifts etc.

In our company an absence due to sickness for that length of time would be referred to occupational health. They would definitely have her do a phased return. I did that for a two and a half month absence once. Tbh I don't think the shops are going to be as busy as they usually are for Christmas.

Why are you inviting strangers to speculate on your friend's private life online where it can be picked up by Google and newspapers?

And don't say it's not identifying - your "friend" would clearly recognise herself from all the details you've shared!