Colleague leaving

[ilovebrie8]

A colleague is leaving and a collection is being set up, we are not in the office so it’s set up for another colleagues bank account to be used to give donations. It’s not someone I’ve worked with and wfh we don’t cross paths...they will know who donates and what amount as it’s into another person’s bank account...it’s very cliquey too !! normally I put a few pounds in the envelope that goes round but this like pressure to give more the way it’s being done ...you can’t exactly transfer a £1 or two...ahhh! Thoughts anyone ?

I wouldn't bother TBH

Do you want to donate? I'd just leave it. We've had two collections in lockdown one I contributed to the other I didn't.

I wouldn't bother either.

I feel the same, there's been a few collections since lockdown done in this way and I have felt pressured to put more in. If you don't really work with them I would just ignore and if asked (unlikely they would ) just say you forgot! But I'm a conflict avoided

😊 thanks ! I don’t like to feel forced and it’s kind of like that...on a subtle level ...won’t bore you all with the back story ...

I wouldn't bother either. If pushed just say you dont work with them / know them. My only exception is if they were in a junior role to you and / or you benefitted from the work they did.

@zigzagbetty same ! Glad to see others feel the same...

@Alexandernevermind it’s not a big group so it’s awkward but I don’t work with them ...Just feel it’s a way to pressurise giving and more than normal...

You can absolutely transfer a couple of quid, or nothing, your choice.

I really dislike these types of things. Once a guy was leaving and they brought the card and collection round and waited while you wrote and put your money in. I didn't like him so pretended to get money out of my purse and drop it in

My office are collection crazy there's always one going round for something (so I really have to pick and choose what I'm happy to contribute to, but over lockdown we have been setting up GoFundMe pages instead could you suggest this instead? I'm not sure exactly how you do it as it's obviously not for charity but there is a way, and it means you can still donate anonymously too. So many colleagues are donating £5 to every one (at least 10 in the last 3 months as there were redundancies) but they would never put an actual fiver in the envelope so I don't get it! I normally just put whatever shrapnel is in my purse in them if it's not someone I'm close to, so I've just been putting £2 on the go fund me anonymously.

Thanks all ...I know i hate feeling you have to contribute like this ...there’s more behind the scenes too but don’t want to over share ...suffice you say am glad it’s not just me

If you don't know the person, just don't donate, it's not compulsory.

We have a similar problem, one of the managers who has been with us a long time and is well liked is leaving at the end of the year and a Paypal money pool has been set up for the donations, which means that everyone can see how much everyone has donated.

The first person who donated is a bit of a brown noser and is also much better off than just about everyone else and gave a donation that is much higher than is normally given when collections have been by anonymous cash in a bag that we normally do, so now there's the pressure to live up to this amount and the amount collected is going to be huge, probably £1k+, which is a ridiculous amount for a leaving collection for a well paid person who's also getting a final salary pension and six figure lump sum.

I feel sorry for the lower grade people who haven't been with us very long who will feel obliged to give more than they can afford to avoid looking tight.

Doesn't really matter the reasons why.

If you don't want to then don't and feel awkward for a bit or donate and then feel resentful for a bit.

Decide which feelings you can cope with more easily.

Collections have stopped at our work, we didn't do many anyway, someone sends out an electronic card that everyone gets to sign instead.

@BarbaraofSeville oh my that’s not good how can someone get £1k for leaving ! That’s the thing brown nosers start these things and everyone then looks bad ...as it’s all visible and not your normal coins in an envelope !

@ilovebrie8

A colleague is leaving and a collection is being set up, we are not in the office so it’s set up for another colleagues bank account to be used to give donations. It’s not someone I’ve worked with and wfh we don’t cross paths...they will know who donates and what amount as it’s into another person’s bank account...it’s very cliquey too !! normally I put a few pounds in the envelope that goes round but this like pressure to give more the way it’s being done ...you can’t exactly transfer a £1 or two...ahhh! Thoughts anyone ?

Given the circs and that you dont cross paths - I'd give nothing.

And who cares what this colleague thinks - they'll be gone soon enough.

I wouldnt give it any headspace. 🙂

Not sure why you would donate to someone you don't work with?

They've gone about this badly. A colleague left and his PA organised an online leaving card/anonymous donation pot. You could make your amount un-anonymous and just sign the card so no one knew how much you gave.

@ilovebrie8

A colleague is leaving and a collection is being set up, we are not in the office so it’s set up for another colleagues bank account to be used to give donations. It’s not someone I’ve worked with and wfh we don’t cross paths...they will know who donates and what amount as it’s into another person’s bank account...it’s very cliquey too !! normally I put a few pounds in the envelope that goes round but this like pressure to give more the way it’s being done ...you can’t exactly transfer a £1 or two...ahhh! Thoughts anyone ?

Don't bother. When someone leaves at work, we always have someone who starts a collection and gives bank details for transfer. I've never bothered and don't give it a second thought.

Saying that, I wouldn't want anything if and when I leave.

I didn't like him so pretended to get money out of my purse and drop it in

"We're all so sorry to see you leave us, Barry, so as a token of our fondness for you, we've had a whip-round. Please accept with our love this gift of £367.48, 2 Drachmas and 9 half-chewed Murray mints!"

If it's someone I don't know or dont like, I never contribute. If it's someone I am indifferent to then I give a couple of quid. And if its someone I do like, I dont join the collection (cos they usually buy over-priced flowers which feels like a waste) and I buy a present for the person myself.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I didn't like him so pretended to get money out of my purse and drop it in

"We're all so sorry to see you leave us, Barry, so as a token of our fondness for you, we've had a whip-round. Please accept with our love this gift of £367.48, 2 Drachmas and 9 half-chewed Murray mints!"

Other people liked him, just not me.

I had someone stand over me with the card and collection envelope. I wasn't earning much and he was on a very high wage. I don’t feel bad for not giving £2 to his collection.

Don't bother.

I left my last place of work in September and I got..nothing. Not even a goodbye!

It really upset me because everyone gets leaving presents, lunch, card etc and my boss when I packed up to go home just went "oh is that you leaving now? I forgot today was your last day. Good luck in your new job". That's the thing too we where in the office, there was no working from home!

Sorry that was me projecting I'm still hurt ffs. No if you didn't work with him or know don't contribute at all, but it is nice someone went to the effort to set it up for him especially when people are WFH.