To be annoyed at neighbour

[Greycatgingercat]

We got a new car and within a month the neighbors had the same car in the same colour, I didn't think anything of it as I thought it was a coincidence. We recently renovated our driveway in a design that I'd designed myself, the neighbor said she was going to do the exact same to hers, I thought she was joking so I just smiled, little did I know, she wasn't. She got the same company to do hers with the same stones and plants. I was really upset as I'd wanted ours to be unique.

I've tried to be friendly with her but I feel like she's just too much, she mentioned that she has emotionally unstable personality disorder and now I feel bad for being annoyed.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I can see why you are annoyed though. I think I'd remain polite, say hello etc but don't get too close.

If she's already copied your front garden and car there can't be that much at the front of your house left to copy. Just make sure you don't invite her to see the inside of your house or back garden. Also don't let her know where you buy your clothes or where yoy are going on holiday (when we can all go on holiday again).

Go out wearing long pink wig

Wave to her

Go back inside

Enjoy the show

Once holidays are possible, tell her you're moving to the other end of the country. Then go on holiday, and don't come back until there is a sold sign outside her house.

Do you live where I grew up?😂 sorry. It gave me flashbacks of the "neighbour wars". We painted house, he painted house. Same style, different colour. We got simple swimming pool, he got one put in the ground. We painted garage, he painted garage and so on. It was always top trumps rather than exact imitation.

You should tell her you wnated your front garden to be unique and designed it yourself so you are bit upset it isn't now. Then do what pps said and just stay on simple hello.

You don't have to feel bad even if she has MH issues. You cannot be friend with everyone and everyone cannot be friend with you, that's life.

I love the gnome idea😂

I really wouldn't give it a moment's though. Do something daft then laugh as she copies you.

@MumsDirtyTeaTowel I felt that comment was unkind too. Yeah I did a bit of research about it and realised maybe she can't help it or doesn't realise what she's doing.

@StatementKnickers that's incredibly rude. I take it you aren't familiar with what EUPD is?

StatementKnickers - would you have posted a similar comment if it were a physical illness? Yes its a real condition and not a nice one.

It's annoying for you and a shame for her. But as already mentioned don't invite her in your house.. just be polite and civil.

what a horrible nasty post. Just think for a moment as you'll find there are people on this site who either have the diagnosis themselves or their children do. I'm not going to share my experiences with you as it's clear what sort of person you are. Perhaps you could though provide some evidence it's made up?

I guess you think autism is made up too...

@StatementKnickers I understand that is your opinion, but there is really no need to say things like that, I think she really struggles with many other aspects of her life and that must be very hard for her.

Op - I would be polite and civil. I am sure your neighbour will have a good awareness of how they are perceived (this thread being a good example) and will hopefully have a good support network.

Change your plants? I really couldn't live next to an identical driveway i would feel the need to personalise it

Wow, as someone with eupd this thread made me feel fab!

Op, I understand how that's annoying to you. Those choices are part of your personality and identity.. Something your neighbour likely isn't in touch with herself, so is mimicking yours. Next time she makes a comment that's she's going to do it, gently tell her that you'd prefer she didn't as you already have so much the same!

@StormzyInaDCup so sorry this thread made you feel the way it did. Thanks, I think that's probably the best thing to say to her.

If you designed a stunning driveway, be glad your neighbour has one too. Imagine if they had an awful one (it would drag your home down with it) or the blue painted one someone on mumsnet was forced to look at day in day out. There are positives.

@Greycatgingercat thank you for your comment. My post wasn't aimed at you 😊

I can't say what will work for your neighbour. But in my early days, I would imitate others and it was only when they'd gently point it out, could I cope with that and realise what I was doing. A sledgehammer approach would just make me spiral! It's unfair to you, I know. Good luck!

Swap the plants in the back garden with the ones out front? Or, gravel in the borders & pot the front ones up & switch & rotate pot positions regularly .

Swap your pots around so it's a bit more individual and I agree that her having a nice drive will help you sell. Try not to let it bother you. We've had neighbours who for some reason were trying to impress us with loud conversations (between themselves) about how much they earn, the places they've seen, how lucky they are they can afford whatever.