Funeral leaflets through the door in the middle of a Pandemic

[buggeroffvirus]

I am prepared to be told that I am over reacting but here it is. Yesterday we had a leaflet put through the door advertising a local Funeral Director. At first i just put it in the bin because the two smiling faces of a couple wearing black garb seemed a little bit odd.
I have since become more annoyed and have rang the service and voiced my concerns to a very pleasant man who was in charfge of out of hours business.
I pointed out that I thought it was in very bed taste during a Pandemic when people like my husband have been shielding and at great risk since March.
In my opinion there is no need to advertise as people generally use firm that have been used my friends and family and reputations go by word of mouth. I probably should not have said that it seemed like Ambulance chasing but there you have it.
There will be no shortage of business for Undertakers so there is no need to advertise. The people that I have used in the past for my parents were always caring and polite.
The gentleman on the phone said that he could see my point but other firms were doing it !!!.
I would never use a funeral director who did this sort of marketing if I could avoid it. My God they will be offering a three for two next.
So my question is having I got this out of proportion or not.

Thank you for replying, having read your posts I agree that I have over reacted. I am stressed like everyone else but that is no excuse.
On reflection it does seem a little out of character, normally I wouldn't complain about anything. I feel a bit daft now.

Uck don't worry about it op, no actual harm done. Hide this thread and try to get on with your day

It’s just advertising, it’s no different than receiving a pizza advertisement leaflet.

It was merely a coincidence that it arrived to an address where you’re concerned about your husband dying. It wasn’t meant to cause offence or be in bad taste.

There’s references to death everywhere in life, whether that’s jokey or serious, you can’t get triggered by everything and force everyone else to adapt to your needs

YABVU and that was very silly of you to complain, although you’ll have made their day with it I’m sure.

Of course there is a need to advertise; they’re a business. They can’t just hope for word of mouth and recommendations.

Believe me, if you have to arrange a funeral, a leaflet kept in a drawer may prove useful.

I probably wouldn't have bothered to ring them but I understand your annoyance OP.

I have telephoned a company that 'employed' somebody to put leaflets on all cars in the car park. Most of those leaflets were strewn on the ground by the car owners who just discarded them. It was the fault of the car owners who should have wait to dispose of them properly but, nobody should be putting advertising material on other people's cars either.

I have told businesses that ring me - repeatedly after being told that I'm not interested - that they're on my 'shit list' and will NEVER be selected for that work/job.

There's free enterprise and there's harassment/littering. Fine line and you piss off potential customers at your peril.

I have told businesses that ring me - repeatedly after being told that I'm not interested - that they're on my 'shit list' and will NEVER be selected for that work/job.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe They won’t care; they’ll just roll their eyes. Businesses ring people to advertise because it works.

If you have been watching daytime telly during the pandemic, you'll have seen that over half the adverts are funeral plans, or over-50 plans that can pay for your funeral (though to be fair June and her fucking parsnips have been arond since considerably earlier than March)

I'm mildly surprised that you've not noticed before now just how much funeral advertising there is

Don't worry about it OP, times are strange and stress levels are running high.

By the way, most funeral directors are out of pocket this year and making far less money than ever before.
This is due to them cutting their own costs during the first wave to show compassion, spending huge amounts on PPE and protecting staff etc and not making the money on various add ins they normally would for services.

Every funeral director I know are in it because they care. They go above and beyond to support people in their hardest times.

How about having some compassion for them and the person you called today, who’s there 24/7 to help you when the worst happens?

We've had a family death to deal with - and actually having a choice of leaflets that came through the door assisted our decision somewhat.

I have since become more annoyed and have rang the service and voiced my concerns to a very pleasant man who was in charfge of out of hours business.

I appreciate that it's off tone, but this made me the out of hours business is probably reserved for "emergencies", so it's tickled me that you called them about the leaflet.

Don't feel daft, just have bit of time to yourself, have some tea and chill out. You're clearly very stressed, I hope you are feeling better soon

emilyfrost, they do care because they don't get the business that they wanted.

My husband was with an insurance company for years for his van - they kept ringing and trying to get my car business too. I told them politely that I didn't want to change and to stop ringing. They rang again and were told that the next time they'd lose my husband's police too. They stopped ringing.

Do you work for one of these pushy companies by any chance? You seem very defensive on their behalf and stridently post as if you know their thoughts/feelings on the subject...

I was upset when a charity my husband left a legacy to sent a letter that arrived a week after his death, addressed to him, thanking him for the legacy. I called them about there thoughtlessness. It was a total coincidence - of course they didn't know he had died, and were just sending out the usual annual begging letter, hoping he would contribute more.
In your case I think you are being completely unreasonable. They send thousands of those things out, so of course they may actually hit someone recently bereaved and upset them, or maybe really need them!

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

emilyfrost, they do care because they don't get the business that they wanted.

My husband was with an insurance company for years for his van - they kept ringing and trying to get my car business too. I told them politely that I didn't want to change and to stop ringing. They rang again and were told that the next time they'd lose my husband's police too. They stopped ringing.

Do you work for one of these pushy companies by any chance? You seem very defensive on their behalf and stridently post as if you know their thoughts/feelings on the subject...

No, I don’t work in that industry.

No business cares when someone says “I’m never coming here again!” or “that’s it, you’ve lost me as a (potential) customer!”. They roll their eyes and it often turns into a funny story.

The amount of people they ring they expect some disgruntled replies; they’re not expecting 100% of people to go with them, but enough people do go with them to make it worthwhile.

I have since become more annoyed and have rang the service and voiced my concerns to a very pleasant man who was in charfge of out of hours business.

Did you get the number from their leaflet?

We'll agree to disagree then emilyfrost since you have no special insider knowledge.

Anybody with a whit of empathy would read the OP, read between the lines and understand the nuance of touting for funeral business might upset some people and did upset the OP. Many posters did, some didn't and don't though. We're all different.

Jesus christ why are people using the pandemic as an excuse to be downright rude and quite frankly batshit. It's a leaflet for a business ffs. People die, covid or no covid.

I received a leaflet just days after burying both my mother and father together. Thankfully not from the lovely funeral directors we used, now that WOULD have been insensitive!

@spanieleyes

I received a leaflet just days after burying both my mother and father together. Thankfully not from the lovely funeral directors we used, now that WOULD have been insensitive!

It wouldn't because they don't go personally around each house and check an address. They give it to the company who does x are and the company distributes. It would look insensitive, maybe, but unless they stop leafletting, nothing much they can do

I believe that there is a shortage of business
Due to limitations funerals are smaller with less frills
More cremations

So less income for the director
The death rate was actually lower for much of the year than typical - less accidental deaths for example.

It is a service that we will all need someday.

I have since become more annoyed and have rang the service and voiced my concerns to a very pleasant man who was in charfge of out of hours business.

So you got some poor sod out of bed to moan at him

I would contact your GP and ask for some help (that isn't a joke). This could be part of a much larger breakdown

I can't believe you phoned a funeral director up to complain about a leaflet.😂😂😂

What we need is a huge environment tax on leaflet producers who can pass on the costs to the companies who insist on posting/dropping them everywhere.

They're so difficult to recycle, the de-inking process has its own adverse impacts on the environment. It's odd that Mumsnet, the 'home of the mooncup' is so right-on about that - yet patently so unconcerned at the sheer volume of junk-mail that ends up in landfill or having to be chemical-stripped to recycle.

But then again, this is the new Mumsnet; 'home of the contrary and arsey'.

I actually think it's a pretty good idea from their point of view. I don't know any funeral directors where I live and God forbid we needed one, I wouldn't have the energy or emotional capacity to be searching for recommendations.

This. Most people sending out leaflets know that the vast majority will be chucked straight into the recycling, but they're hoping that a few will make people aware of their business at a time when they might be looking/needing to use a business of that very kind. They aren't taunting you about dying soon - they don't actually know you - but if you had just been bereaved or had a family member whom you knew was reaching the end of their life, you might find it very useful - comforting even - to have that info available to you in a neutral, anonymous format, i.e. not targeted at you or accompanied by a pushy salesperson. A great many people needing to organise funerals will be elderly themselves - and that's the demographic who are by far the least likely to have ready/confident access to the internet.

There will be people relying on food banks who get leaflets from the local takeaway, vegetarians receiving flyers for the new steakhouse that's opened in their town, atheists getting invitations from local religious groups to attend meetings, people who've bought their house a week ago getting letters from estate agents asking if they've decided the time has come to sell it. Even people who run a certain kind of business getting leaflets from direct competitors, claiming to be much better than all of the other similar firms in town. It's just a blunderbus approach - if you don't want it, don't need it, can't afford it or whatever, just recycle it.

It's a bit like all the websites wanting to track and stalk you in order to sell you things based on what they believe are your needs, interests or preferences. I completely understand that most websites are funded by advertising, but I for one would much rather receive anonymous adverts, and pinpoint any that interest me myself, than creepy 'addressed' ones that clearly have me personally in their sights for relentless targeting - especially when their algorithms are way off and/or reductive in assuming to compartmentalise me based on one minor characteristic.

Why has he been shielding since March? Surely that's personal choice? Nobody has been advised to shield since August (?) and even now it's just 'be a bit more careful'

Unfortunately the personal choice for shielders not to catch covid isn't on their list of options.

The actual advice to shielders was to take medical advice and the small percentage who were formally classified as shielders have all been told to stay on lock down as far as I can make out.

Certainly my relatives in that class and all their peers at chemo club, transplant club etc are in still in the same situation.