to be rather annoyed with midwife?

[loisstella]

Bit of a rant here....

I went to see the hospital's midwife for the 12 week appointment last week. We did all the basic stuff. height, weight, blood pressure etc

She measured me and anounced I was 5.1 - I said, no actually I am 5.4 - I'm 165 cm and that translates to 5.4... she then looks back on her measure thingie and said...no you really are 5.1....
She then continues to take my blood pressure and measures it at 120/60 (or the other way round I never know how they write it down).

I get home and feel rather frazzled (the fact that they took blood in a really weird place which left me with 2 big bruises and did my scan external only with very little to see and a terribly unclear photograph didn't help).
After a few days I measure myself and of course, I am 5.4. Which changes my BMI.
I call my friend about the blood pressure and she says its not a weird blood pressure but as I used to be high, better have it checked it out again.
Go to GP, blood pressure is indeed 83/117 - closer to my normal BP.

I explained to this woman I am a nervous first time pregnant woman with a history of anxiety... am I right to be a wee bit pissed off and thinking if this woman can't get the basics right how am I to expect her to deliver my child properly?

With my luck I'll probably be the only one to get a consistent midwife at a the NHS hospital. Should I request to be helped by another?

I think it's really important that you have a midwife you are comfortable with - you're not comfortable so you could change.

However, you're anxious and you have a history of anxiety so maybe some of its about that and you might need to give her more of a chance.

As you can see I don't know whether your unreasonable or not - evidence for yes and no in my very-unhelpful opinion

But sorry you had a bad time - can't even measure your height right tsk...

On the face of it, YABU but, i do understand. Don't fret the BMI isnt a big issue. Why were you expecting an internal scan? I've not heard of this, at 12 weeks you are not going to see very much tbh. Your blood pressue sounds fine to me, you may have been uptight when you went to GP - but it will fluctuate depending on time of day etc, that is why people with BP problems have to do 24hr monitoring from time to time. Please try not to worry. I suffer from anxiety and i know that is easier said than done. Thinking on it, i had lower than what is normal for BP when i was pregnant with DD. During pregnancy it is high blood pressure that is an issue. Yours was text book

All that said, it sounds to me like the issue here could well have been the midwife's attitude rather than what she did or didnt do or what did/didnt happen? She should have taken the time to reassure you and make you feel at ease. Chances are you wont have to see her again. What about your community midwife? Do you get on with her? Mine was lovely, although i dont think i saw the same midwife more than once in a row NHS being what it is.

Do try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy, it is a wonderful time, im . Easier said than done i know. I do understand entirely how you feel.

The first bp was a better and lower one. If your bo the second time was 117/83 the lower number is on the higher side of normal. 120/60 is nice and low. My bo when I was pregnant was regularly 80/50 and they were always worried that it was too low but I didn't feel dizzy or anything with it and it was always that low so it was fine.

Thanks for all your messages guys. I was just a bit peeved off... Community midwife is tough but fair - quite like that about her. So hope that will be okay.

I was expecting the internal scan exactly because there's not much to see at 12 weeks - I had a private scan done - i was an internal one and you could really see everything - the internal was really very vague. All my friends also 'warned' me about the internal scan at 12 weeks...

sorry - external one was vague

i have never had an internal scan, not at 11 weeks or 12 weeks i got very clear pics of my bean at 11+4.

IKWYM about getting on with a midwife...last time i was pg i didnt like my MW at all. i love mine this time, i think it makes alot difference.

before being pg my bp was always high 170/80 ish whilst pg my bp dropped to 110/60 its just that your sharng your blood so it takes longer to get back to heart as i was told by mw she also said they only worry if it goes higher or you feel ill aswell hth

0You can get detailed external scans at 12-13 weeks, but I think they use different machines. To be honest, unless you have a history of something and they're doing a scan to check for that at 12 weeks then I think they're just measuring to get dates.

Anxiety is an issue in pregnancy, and you should get support for it, just as you would if you were (say) anaemic. I'd be as honest and upfront as you can about your concerns - the tough but fair midwife sounds good, and I'd insist on seeing her if I were you.

If all goes well then there's very little chance you'll see much of the hosp midwives, and even if you're in loads, as we were, we never saw the same one twice. I had one bad experience at 34 weeks after a scan, when the midwife fussed about my BMI. I was almost full term with a baby who would turn out to be 10lb 11oz, ffs! Of course I was heavy! Went out weeping a bit, and bumped into consultant, who looked at me, said, how are you - I replied, all weepy "I'm huuuge!". Lovely doctor glances at chart, says "You're big because you're having a big baby. Now go home and put your feet up".

Good luck, hope all goes well and you can enjoy your pregnancy.

If its any help I consistently had awful experiences at the goatherding pen that was my local antenatal clinic. And then absolutely everyone I saw during my very very long labour was incredibly good. Couldnt praise the staff enough, despite some fairly touch and go moments. Try to remember that the antenatal clinics are about screening...as in taking well healthy women and monitering them for early signs of disease....they are always hideously busy and sometimes it feels as though the staff have switched their brains off for a rest and will only turn them on again if you have a positive finding, like urine glucose, high BP, or when they are back on the wards where the real action is.

You are right to be pissed off about the poor manners in insisting that you dont even know your own height and refusal to consider that she could be wrong.....but for your own sake in the next few months, do what I did....expect the clinics to be somewhat crap, go along filled with stoicism, get through them....the proper stuff happens later on...

Getting the same midwife throughout your labour is unlikely enough too, never mind the whole pregnancy.

I don't know anyone who's had an internal scan after 8 weeks. I had an external one at 5+6 and could see the heartbeat. It is really awful not to feel confident with your midwife. Last time I was pregnant I saw a completley clueless midwife who left me feeling so miserable, fingers crossed I won't see her tommorow.

Thanks for all your lovely messages!
much appreciated!!!!!

Firstly your Bloodpressure was measured 120/60 and now was 117/83...not really much of a difference, and either way pretty good.
Obvioulsy a bit awful that she persisted that you are smaller then you actually are.

When you state blood was taking at a weird spot? What do you mean by that? Blood usually will be either taking from the inside of your elbow (if that makes sense) or from the outside of your hand, although, sometimes it may be taken from a vene around your wrist area. There are other areas that could be used, but those would only be used if there was no way to get blood other way.
Not usre if you are american or german...but in england it's the norm that only external scans are done, only if there is bleeding or there is a history of miscarriages, etc...would be an internal scan be done....I know in germany you get standardly internal scans in the early weeks...
Also, is this your community midwife or a Hospital one?

Even at the FMC private scan at 8 weeks I only had an external scan (they said they'd try external first and move to internal if they couldn't get a good look, but as it turned out the picture was so clear they stuck with external). Granted the FMC equipment is top-of-the-range and probably far better than for an NHS routine scan, but that suggests that even a good private place with good equipment wouldn't be doing an internal scan a whole four weeks later at 12 weeks. On the NHS my 12 week scans have been external with both pregnancies that got that far, and I don't know anyone in the UK who's had an internal 12 week NHS scan. Where did your friends have theirs?

The blood pressure could be perfectly genuine -- it's not unusual for blood pressure to fluctuate quite a bit.

What sort of measure thingy was it? TBH my midwives have always just asked me how tall I am and how much I weigh (maybe I have a particularly trustworth face... ).

I think it's only the height that you have a justifiable complaint about (although clearly you just didn't hit it off at all either). Are you doing shared care with your GP's practice or do you see this same midwife for all your antenatal visits?

I have never seen a BP of 83/117 that sounds quite bizarre a BP for a healthy adult should be in the region of 120/60. Your GP is either useless or you have the figures the wrong way round (even then 83 is high)

I'm not sure why you would need an internal scan at 12 weeks. I had a scan at 11 wks and could see dd very well.

This whole thread is a bit strange

moss, I assume the op just turned the numbers, as happens often with lay persons...and she meant 117/83....btw, when I did my Nursing Training (many many many moons ago) 120/80 was considered perfect bloodpressure...but of course....anything around that number usually is fine and so much depends on the individual!

we would class 80 as high, although depends on the person I agree, mine rests at about 90/50 which would be shocking low in some people but for me is normal

Hm...
you made em look it up now, lol....
well here is what I found online:

"The BP Success Zone is defined as blood pressure less than 140/90 to 120/80 mm Hg or below. When you're in the BP Success Zone:

Your blood is flowing more easily throughout your body.

Your vital organs are getting the blood they need more easily."

So, to me that says that indeed 120/80 is classed as text book bp....

Oh FGS 117/83 is perfectly N - sorry mosschops 83 IS NOT HIGH!!!! 120/80 is average 150/90 is acceptable treatment level (BHS guidelines)...please do not mislead already anxious people AND slag off their GP with incorrect info!!...The 2 BP's are fine and withing acceptable daily variation...an internal scan is not usually done at 12-13 week check!
As for height well she sounds a bit dim but really not a big deal....blood in unusual place hmmm what do you mean - how experienced are you at having blood taken!
You need to relax and not pick on every little thing or you will become more and more anxious throughout this pregnancy all sounds in order!

macdoodle, that was a little rough, don't you think? It's her first pregnancy, she has a history of anxiety, and she came out of a midwife appt feeling stressed. So she maybe had mistaken expectations? Who hasn't in some situation or other? I'm just not sure that your message is exactly conducive to relaxation - it's rather like shouting "CALM DOWN!".

Was just being my usual blunt self sometimes that what people need - TBh was more annoyed at some of the frankly ignorant colluding comments from others!

Maybe it is what some people need, macd, but not always, and if you don't know the poster... I was extremely anxious in my last pregnancy, for very good reasons, and I have to say that the blunt approach would not have gone down well with me at all. If you want to rant at others, be my guest (!), but I would be a little more gentle with OP.

macdoodle...phew...I honestly started to doubt myself there....(been out of nursing for a while, like, erm 12 years, lol...), but glad you also believe that 120/80 is normal range not high blood pressure...I jsut remember that number so clearly from the days of training....it was hammered into us, basically...
mind you, my first placement was on renal unit, and commonly those patients had extremely high blood pressure (180/120, etc...) and it was daily routine to go around with some adalat (blood pressure medication to lower blood pressure) when doing the bp round....

Habi, I can understand what you are trying to say, but it was really obvious (to me anyway) that mac was cross with antoehr poster, not op...

Right, some clarification here.
Why was op thinking she was going to have an internal scan??--Loisstella has said that she had an internal scan when she had one privately, her friends ahd also mentioned the internal scan.

Was she reasonable to be annoyed her midwife measured her incorrectly??--of course she was!!!

As for the blood rpessure, there is so much contradictory info about blood pressure online etc. I went to the gp the otehr day after fainting (same gestation as op) and was told my blood pressure of 110/70 was low, which was why I fainted.

Was also told that having high or low blood rpessure isnt always a big deal, unless it is a large variation on your normal blood pressure.

I can understand people being blunt but this is a concerned pregnant woman here, who has admitted being anxious, for goodness sake, have some empathy.

I have plenty of EMPATHY I am 30 week pregnant woman myself and understanding of anxiety....but IME colluding and symapathising with unreasonable expectations and concernes is NOT helpful ...and as I said the BP scan and blood taking all seemed fairly standard and normal...was she right in being annoyed about wrong height of course she was...but needs to be put in perspective and not make her anxious about whole midwife Gp pregnancy deal.....the original question was posed in AIBU...not tea and sympathy please ....