To ask what your most mortifying break up story is?

[Betty94]

Good evening all,

I was just randomly thinking about this and was wondering what other good stories other mumnetters have and if they can top my break up story with my ex because it was really something :

When I was twenty one I had been seeing this guy for three years and for the last year I had been trying to break up with him but every-time I did he would just cry and beg for me back and being young and silly I'd take him back each time, in that time I became mentally unwell (probably from the strain on the relationship) and went on holiday with my grandma, I'm not proud of this but I broke up with him via text on the first day of my holiday as I genuinely thought that was my only way out so I did it as gentle as you can via text and then blocked him on everything as I knew he'd just bombard me. A week passes and I go home, I get home on a Saturday night and go out to the pub with some friends (ah pre covid memories) and I got a text from my dad (was still living at home) saying "your ex is in your bedroom" ffs, I was only around the corner and I was afraid he might come to the pub if I don't go so I went home to tell him to leave, he was sat on my bed with my two foster kittens so I sat on the computer chair at the opposite end of the room asking him to leave, he came over and got on one knee (oh no) and read out a script of how much he loved me etc and whilst he was doing this the foster kittens kept jumping off and on his knee which was amusing but then he got out a ring ( I didn't even look at it) and closed the box and said no, he then fainted! He fainted on my bedroom floor because I said no so I had to call my dad in and my dad drove him home in my ex's car and I had to follow in my car to bring my dad back home (luckily I didn't have any alcohol at the pub) then for a few weeks after that his mum would bombard me with texts (70 odd in one day) telling me to get back with him and he would bombard my dad with texts telling him to tell me to get back with him

Eeeee haha anyone got any good break up stories? Please

PS I thought your OP was funny, there seems to be a load of sad sacks on MN who simply have to post on threads to tell everyone "I don't approve of this thread" (like anyone gives a shiny shite)

@Betty94 I know it's so weird involving parents in it and thinking as if a proposal will somehow make you commit. I've been on the receiving end of being split up from and as soon as I get the tiniest hint, I take my dignity and leave without ever going through that awkward conversation. Not sure why 28 year old man wouldn't take no for an answer. The more he begged, the smaller he looked. Btw, I found your story hilarious and I could relate 😅😂

@user1294729492759

Do you need to have been drinking to find it funny? It just seems sad to me.

I guess it depends how you see it -

Some people may see it as he was desperately in love with me and was trying anything he could do to make me stay.

Or

He was trying to manipulate me into staying in a relationship with him.

Of course there's reasons I tried to break up with him for over a year and why I said no to his marriage request, obviously without knowing the full history it's hard for anyone to really know but it wasn't really the point, it was just a story I look back on and cringe a little bit because it was just so silly and over the top, we were both young, early twenties. I'm sure we've all done cringe worthy things.

Doomed before it even began, I was worried my date would try it on as when we’d met at a party, he’d been very full on. Our next date was at a cinema and I (shamefully) made him sit in the front row one seat apart from me 😱🤣 That was obviously the death knell, I didn’t ask for a second date, nor did he!

I have two. The first we went on a day trip to London (about 2 hours away). We went to my favourite Indian restaurant. The journey home was a nightmare, should have been 2 hours but ended up being 4, with a replacement bus service in the middle. On the bus he started complaining of a stomach ache. There wasn't much either of us could do as obviously there were no toilets on the bus.

When we finally made it to the train station, he was in a pretty bad way and shot off the bus and started bolting back towards his with me following behind. It was about a mile, a mile and a half across the other side of town. He insisted on cutting through the park in the pitch black and I really didn't want to with no lights but went anyway. All of a sudden he disappeared into a bush next to a row of houses near the end of the park. I waited, wondering what on earth he was doing. Then of course I realised He came back walking a bit strangely and said he'd had a 'reaction' to the food. And took a dump in the park.

I know you can't help it when ahem, shit happens, but we had passed numerous pubs that were open that he could have ducked into! I felt bad for him but I just couldn't shift the ick after that... and yes I did dump him... I think it was the realisation that he couldn't have wiped...

The second I made a thread about here as I was so stunned, I was alternating between shocked silence and laughing my head off. I've copied and pasted the gist of it rather than type it all out again:

"I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months. He works a 'normal' job and I work from home, freelance, long and anti social hours. It's not uncommon for me to work overnight, sleep pattern all over the place etc. I've had to put my foot down before with regards to him assuming that because I work for myself that I can have time off whenever I he want(s).

He was supposed to come over last night, but I cancelled due to running late on a work deadline. Said we could do something today in the day. It was left that he would call me in the morning and jokes were made about me likely being dead asleep if it was early and not hearing it etc.

At 6.30 this morning I woke to my phone buzzing. I saw it was him and ignored it, as had only got to bed a couple of hours before.

Then my doorbell buzzed.

I was annoyed that he just rocked up at my house (15 miles from his) at 6.30am with no prior warning. My phone kept ringing so I decided to ignore it. He continued to ring the doorbell, long sustained buzzing 10-12 seconds.

I keep my window which faces the road open most of the time (first floor flat). He shouted through the window "ALEXA! TURN BEDROOM LIGHT ON!" which of course she did. Okay, annoying but maybe, just maybe he was kidding around and didn't think it would work.

Then he shouts, "ALEXA! SET ALARM FOR FIVE MINUTES"

I lost it then. I went to the window, said, 'Well you can fuck off', slammed it shut and locked it.

He then continued to ring me and buzz my doorbell until I threatened to call the police. He then resorted to just yelling up at me from the street"

I was horrified that he was shouting up from the street at 6:30am on a Saturday, I ended up going round to all my neighbours and apologising I never saw him again.

@Infinitethings

I thought it was funny, especially the bit where your dad drove him home in his car and you followed behind 😄

I know the whole time driving behind him, I was just thinking "what is life?" - I made my dad drive us home though and it was dead awkward because he was like "why did he faint?" And I was like "he purposed and I said no" and he was like "should we have taken him to the hospital?" no dad, he's okay he's at home now, I do wonder what his mum thought when my dad knocked on her door to hand her son back though (my dad wanted to make sure he was okay so walked him to the door).

Why are people being so snidey to OP?!

My worst breakup situation, (that is funny now) was when I was sat in my car in my work car park, texting my best friend that I had arrived at work and would be seeing my very recent Ex for the first time after breaking up a few nights before. I went into great detail about he was crap in bed, he was boring, he stank of cigarette smoke and I wouldn't miss tasting it when we kissed, he had crusty skin around his nose (it was winter) and hadn't he heard of moisturiser...and on, and on.. I was just trying to make myself feel better by listing every thing, embellished to make her laugh... I sent the text just as he had pulled up in the work car park, and he parked opposite me.. He got out of his car, and almost immediately reached for his pocket where his phone was.... He stared at his phone for a bit, and only then it hit me that I'd sent the bloody text to him as he was on my mind... He looked so sad, I felt awful, and he looked up and saw me looking at him.. we locked eyes, and then he slipped over on the ice, flat on his back😂😂

Oh just remembered another one! Well it was over before it begun but it still kinda makes me cringe.
I met a guy at a party through mutual friends who I really fancied from afar. He clearly felt the same because he got my number and asked me out within the week. We went out on a casual walk/date and it was quite a while in that I noticed the rot between his two front teeth clearly caused by his rather heavy smoking habit.
He REALLY tried kissing me when he walked me to my bus but I made my excuses and jumped on the bus.
There wasn't a second date. It might be shallow of me but no matter how hot he was I was not going anywhere near those teeth...

@LemonSqueezy0

Why are people being so snidey to OP?!

My worst breakup situation, (that is funny now) was when I was sat in my car in my work car park, texting my best friend that I had arrived at work and would be seeing my very recent Ex for the first time after breaking up a few nights before. I went into great detail about he was crap in bed, he was boring, he stank of cigarette smoke and I wouldn't miss tasting it when we kissed, he had crusty skin around his nose (it was winter) and hadn't he heard of moisturiser...and on, and on.. I was just trying to make myself feel better by listing every thing, embellished to make her laugh... I sent the text just as he had pulled up in the work car park, and he parked opposite me.. He got out of his car, and almost immediately reached for his pocket where his phone was.... He stared at his phone for a bit, and only then it hit me that I'd sent the bloody text to him as he was on my mind... He looked so sad, I felt awful, and he looked up and saw me looking at him.. we locked eyes, and then he slipped over on the ice, flat on his back😂😂

Oh noooooooo, bless him. The text he could have just pretended to shrug off but then to fall right in front of you, bruised ego and a bruised back

An ex ghosted me so I decided to go on a rebound date with a guy as payback (I was really quite young and immature). Surprisingly rebound and I hit it off (and stayed together for three years!).

While driving home days or weeks later - can't remember now - I saw ex driving by my house. As he didn't live by me and I lived in a dead end estate, I knew he was in the area to see me, so I called a friend to come over for moral support. Ex then turned up at my house and begged to get back together while my friend sat in the kitchen asking if she could help herself to food. It was so awkward.

Oh wow the dramatics. I miss being a teen 😂

Not so much a breaking up story but a date from hell one. We met somewhere local, I arrived he was standing there with a bag from the offy full of WKDs I was well passed the age of street drinking. He then asked if I wanted to wait around and "chat" turns out he was waiting for his mate to arrive to lend him the money for our date. I should have left then but I'm a dickhead, so i sat through an awkward date where he tried to hold my hand, touch my cheek etc I ended up smacking his hand away and telling him I was going home. The whole date was awkward we didnt even speak that much, made it clear that we werent going to meet again, he gave me the thumbs up and walked off, texting me a week later asking if I wanted to go round his and watch a film. Problem was he was a friend of a friend so people were surprised to hear my side, when his was "yeah went well, shel deffo go over" disgusting slob.

I'd been going out with my 17 year old boyfriend for nearly a year, when it was my 16th birthday. He turned up at my house with a birthday card and present (very sweet) and an A4 envelope. It was a month before I was due to take my GCSE exams and he said;

"Before you open this, I just want to let you know that you can just chill for the next couple of months - you don't need to worry about your exams, cos I've decided you're not going to Sixth Form College."

The envelope contained application forms for a council flat - apparently he had decided there were "too many boys" at College, so he had come to the decision that instead of studying - we should have a baby! Obviously - what a brilliant idea!

I was thrilled (not).

I gently explained that that would not be happening, but it took nearly 3 weeks (and my parents banning him from our house) before he would finally take no for an answer. Eventually, my Dad came home from work at 4am one day and found him asleep in the flowerbed beneath my bedroom window.

Six months later, he was dating a girl in Year 10, who was only 14 to his 18. (boak, not envy). I imagine she was easier to control than someone nearer to his age.

@Sparklfairy that second story is so so funny!!

Oh no he didn't get Alexa involved. Hell no.

[quote Happygogoat]@Sparklfairy that second story is so so funny!!

Oh no he didn't get Alexa involved. Hell no.[/quote]
I had words with Alexa, the traitorous bitch

One that involved me getting dumped. Boyfriend broke up with me days before my 18th birthday, for no apparent reason. Just that it wasnt working. Confused, upset all the cringe texting him. I went out clubbing the night of my birthday, he knew that's what I had planned but i obviously knew he wasnt coming. Ended the night, he was waiting outside the venue. Wished me a happy birthday, hope I enjoyed "slagging it about" and walked off. Wtf.

[quote Happygogoat]@Sparklfairy that second story is so so funny!!

Oh no he didn't get Alexa involved. Hell no.[/quote]
Hahaha

Imagine Alexa was like "I'm having trouble understanding that right now"

You and me both Alexa

@OhTheRoses do you have quite a boring life? That's a couple of threads tonight where you have just made sarky comments to the OP about their grammar. It's very hypocritical.

I went out with a chap for a couple of months over one Christmas period - he even came to my parents for Christmas Day and stayed over, and stayed with me at my sister's another night. He came to my works do. I'd known him for ages slightly, as a friend of friends. He wasn't from our area but had a job not too far away, and liked our social group.

He got made redundant around then and maybe I scared him off by acting too keen (!) but with hindsight I'm not sure he was in a great place in his head, and one day he just disappeared! This was early 90s so only contact was landlines - and he completely vanished! None of our mutual friends had seen him either, so I guessed he had gone back to his home town, but it was odd! My mum even wondered if anything awful had happened - but for some reason I don't remember being worried about that.

Anyway, months later a friend saw him in his home town, so we knew he was OK. And many years later I saw him in a pub and he apologised, but never explained. It was most peculiar - but I took a lot of stick for driving the poor chap into a vanishing act.......

[quote Happygogoat]@Sparklfairy that second story is so so funny!!

Oh no he didn't get Alexa involved. Hell no.[/quote]
I just thought actually if other people in the other flats had alexas would they have also turn the alarm on and the lights or is it voice activated? I can just picture random flats lights turning on and alarms going off

@OhTheRoses

Were mortifying but now are silly.

Your story isn't as bad as your grammar.

Bore off. You literally comment on every thread about someone's grammar. Get a grip!

I just thought actually if other people in the other flats had alexas would they have also turn the alarm on and the lights or is it voice activated? I can just picture random flats lights turning on and alarms going off

When I made the thread someone suggested making a comedy skit along the lines of Trigger Happy TV back in the day, where you walk down a street and shout commands to Alexa through the windows I was more annoyed that she immediately did what he said both times!! but half the time completely ignores me when I'm right next to her!

Trust some people to act like joyless schoolmarms over a lighthearted conversation starter.

Glad you were shot of him and the kittens found a good home, OP! Thanks for sharing :)

(My dating life is quite boring so no stories so share I'm afraid!)

Ffs I'm sick of coming onto perfectly normal,light-hearted threads and reading pathetic, sneery posts

I like to think my post break up story is funny (hope the POST bit isn't cheating?).

I'd split up with my ex the month before. It'd been a long time coming, at least a year, so I was ready to move on. He'd had an affair 2 years earlier and I'd never really managed to get past it. I'd met the new bloke before we broke up, but obviously, I was still with the ex so...

So the new bloke and I had been out for the first date. I had no intention of anything happening, but one thing led to another, and we went back to mine. It was a month post break up with ex remember. However, THAT night was the night ex decided to pay me a visit at 3am. Clearly, he'd been drinking and had got wound up. He CYCLED three miles to mine and started banging on the door.

Me and new bloke had finished shagging at this point and were asleep. I knew instantly it was my ex. He'd been violent in the past. I'd told the new bloke about this, but he'd assumed I was looking for break up sympathy.

So the ex is banging on the door and shouting. Ringing my mobile. Furious. I could hear him in the back garden, smashing pots. The bin at the front was tipped over. New bloke was creeping around the house in the dark, trying to collect up his scattered clothes, whispering, 'If I'm going to get beaten up by your ex, I don't want to be naked.'

Eventually, the ex called a mutual friend (I could hear this conversation outside the front window) to get picked up.

In the morning, when I went out, rubbish was strewn all over the front drive. My poor neighbours had swept it all up, because the poor sods were having a potential buyer come to view that morning.

I went out with this lad when I was a teenager, first serious boyfriend, pressured me into having sex, would always force me to take drugs, treated me like shit, flirted with other girls in front of me, would turn up at my school and eventually got me kicked out because he was making me miss so much school. I broke up him with after to put it bluntly he groped another girl in front of me and then assaulted me. He made me feel so shit I was hysterical when we broke up and ended up mc a baby I didn't know about.