to want to "have a word" with a Mum from dc's school

[deepbreath]

who pulled out as I was passing her car this morning

I was driving along carefully, between parked cars on either side of the road when she just PULLED OUT

NO indicators, and she obviously hadn't checked any of her mirrors or even looked. It wasn't dark, there was NO earthly reason (or excuse) for what she did.

I don't know how I managed to miss her, as she pulled out and nearly drove into the side of my car.

I'm even more because I've only recently started driving again after being badly injured by some other prat 2 years ago. I took refresher lessons recently to regain my confidence.

My ds is still a nervous passenger, as he was in the car at the time of the crash. He was visibly shaken by all this earlier

What do I say if I see her, or shall I buy loads of L plates and stick them all over her car tonight? Suggestions please, before I encounter her at the school gates in an hour.

I would say in light hearted tone "golly I don't know how we missed you this morning, you took me by surprise" and see what happens next. I bet she didn't see you and will be horrified (and will remember to look in her mirrors in future)
Of course - if you're unlucky she'll burst into tears and tell you that she was distracted because she's lost her job/had a bereavement/otherbadnews. Either way - you'll be further on than you are now

I wouldn't say anything. What's the point?

Let it go. Life's too short.

this sort of thing will happen to you countless times surely,you need to let it go.
Be relieved that you were a cautious enough driver to prevent the accident.

I dont think I would say anything. I would take a deep breath and realize that this sort of thing happens. She could have had her mind on anything in her life and has simply made a one off mistake. Its not as though she was purposefuly speeding and being an outragious driver. Things happen. Sorry to hear about your accident. I am a nervous driver (low in confidence) and would feel bad if I ever done such a thing myself. But if someone confronted me to have a go I would probably never drive again! Also I dont know about you but I hate any friction at school. Hope whatever you do, it goes ok. Off to school myself now

Let it go.

This happens to us all but your son will have to go to the school with her child so you will encounter her on numerous occasions.

Thank you NL

If she WAS in a state for whatever reason, maybe driving wasn't the best idea? She lives a 5 min walk from school (if that) and doesn't work, as far as I know.

I'm not one for making a scene, but I just want her to know what she's done, and hope that she doesn't do it again. I've been shaking all day and feeling sick because of it.

Ds was so distressed after the crash 2 years ago, I really don't want to go back there again either.

Thank you everyone else that replied too.

I think I'm just more sensitive to something like this because of previous accident caused by another idiotic driver that caused injury to ds and cost me my car, career, mobility... It took me 2 years to get behind the wheel again.

If I'm being totally honest, I feel like going up and slapping her one to see if it wakes her up. Of course I won't do it in reality, but it would make me feel better.

Hi deepbreath - letting it go usually has a lot to be said for it but you are obviously very much upset by this because of your accident - that sounds awful for you all
Yes this does happen all the time and will happen again but I suppose the difference is that 'in the wide world' as it were you don't get the chance to have a calm discussion with the other driver and make your point. Here because you know who she is you do and I think that is both a benefit and a temptation.

Oh dear, sounds like you have had a real bad time of it and yes it is all the affects of what has happened to you. These things do happen everyday though, people pulling out on you ect ect but it doesnt mean you are going to have a bad accident like last time. To be a driver again you will have to get used to it and try to overcome your fears. (says me a nervous driver anyway!) You'll get there in the end Im sure but I wouldnt make it worse for yourself by being mad at everyone who makes a mistake. Also it wont help your ds's confidence either if you get extremly wound up by these things. Its not going to go over night is it but hopefully things will get easier over time. Goodluck

Deepbreath - really rally sorry you had such a fright.

But please, say nothing.

This is not about her beyond the fact that she did do something careless and silly - it happens almost every day that you encounter a driver who does something that you have to avoid for some reason.

You know what? You DID stop and you didn't crash. She made a silly mistake but not evberyone on the road can take responsibility for the idiot who did you so much damage. If you feel so shaken by a near miss, perhaps you could have some post-trauma counselling or something?

Hi again,

I got up to the school, and it turns out that she has got a child in the same year as my dd who has recently started in reception.

She came over and apologised, which was very kind of her. I didn't jump in and have a go, I waited and listened. She admitted that she hadn't looked.

I said it had shaken me up, and told her about the accident I'd had before, how it had affected ds, and how he was upset this morning. I said at least she hadn't hit my car, although it was a very near miss. She looked quite upset too after that.

I'm thanking my lucky stars that she didn't crash into me. I think I reacted the same way that anyone else would have done if they'd had an experience like mine. I KNOW accidents happen... it was just one of those "OMG, not again" moments.

I am glad that she came over. I think it has helped both of us. If you are a Mumsnetter too, see you at school tomorrow!

Oh that's good - glad this has worked out.

I'm pleased she apologised