Really feel at my breaking point and struggling

[worried23xxx]

Sorry posted here for traffic but I’m really struggling and need some advice from some wiser people. I understand in the grand scheme of things this isn’t a big deal.

Two weeks ago I tested positive with covid I’ve been left exhausted I’m in my early 20s. I returned to work as a teacher this week and feel sick with anxiety because I’m an NQT and feel like I am constantly making mistakes and being judged. I had awful year 9s today and the TA had to help send pupils to another classroom. I feel like I am waiting to be caught out and I’m not doing well. Im not eating properly or sleeping a lot.

Ive now this evening found out my boyfriend messaged an old friend of his a girl who we have had issues with because she asked him to cheat with her.

I really feel at breaking point and haven’t stopped crying all evening. Im finding life very tough. Any advice please or kind words? I have no one to speak to.

I'm here, aged 43 and I was just thinking howwwwwwwww would I ever have coped with Covid in my 20s. And what a time to be NQT. You sound amazing.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much, it all sounds pretty stressful. It sounds like you haven't fully recovered from the virus and your teaching role is not one where you can coast along - do you think perhaps you would benefit from getting signed off for a week or so, to give yourself chance to recuperate?

I had a pretty rubbish day myself today, I was very tearful for no real reason at all, as things have been getting on top of me since I was made redundant. You and I are in polar opposite situations - you're young and have a demanding job, I'm in my late 50s and might never work again. You have too much to cope with, while I have too much time to ruminate. I have no answers but want you to know that someone is reading your words, and trying to understand how you feel.

Your boyfriend sounds unreliable - he needs to step up now to support you through this difficult time, not seek solace through some girl who's offering it on a plate to him! He sounds immature and disloyal - you sound like a decent person who's trying so hard to get to grips with a difficult situation. Can you seek support from your parents or friends?

Try to eat something and get an early night. Do whatever you can to get yourself better. Good luck OP.

Do you live with your boyfriend? Don’t waste your twenties on idiots who can’t be trusted.

It’s Friday night so no school for two days!

Have a hot bath/shower and an early night or watch a lighthearted film. When you’re well rested you’ll be able to relax a bit more.

Tomorrow morning go for a walk and get something really nice to eat for lunch. If it’s just you get your favourite meal.

If you’re feeling down reach out to friends. One of my friends is a recently qualified teacher and I know she was very stressed and had a lot of self doubt. Is there anyone else at work you can talk to?

I had a really crap day today as well and husband’s working nights this weekend so lucky me gets the four and three year old all to myself all weekend

So sorry to read this OP.

I totally relate to the stress and pressures of teaching - I started teacher training, and actually left it quite early on, so absolutely kudos to you for persevering with such an important job - you really sound so on it and it is a very, very demanding job that can unfortunately really seem thankless sometimes

Really sorry to hear as well about the situation with your boyfriend and with your recovery from Covid. Would it be an option, as other posters have suggested, to take sick leave for a couple of weeks whilst you recover further? It sounds like Covid absolutely wipes people out, and it must be so difficult to bear especially in such a full-on and hectic job.

Can you take it easy over the weekend to plan something fun/a treat to help you take your mind off things and have a think about if you need to be signed off for a bit?

Get rid of your idiot boyfriend and you'll feel a lot better. Don't saddle yourself with a man you can't trust.

Hi OP

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Being an NQT is incredibly tough, mentally and physically. I was an NQT about 15 years ago and hands down it still is one of the hardest years of my life.

Try to sleep early and rest as much as you can. I used to go to bed at 9pm as an NQT.

Reach out to other NQT friends if you have any. We would moan at each other so much and it felt good to know we were all feeling the same.

Is your head of department being supportive?

Take one week at a time, or even one day at a time.

It will get easier but you need to fully recover from Covid too.

Good luck, you can do this xx

Do you have a mentor at school and have weekly meetings to support you? I really feel for you, what a terrible time to be an NQT 😞

We're we're talking today about how hard it must be to be training/starting out right now.
Us oldies are only managing because we fall back on stuff we know. Having to do everything on top of all the COVID stuff must be overwhelming.
Please do not think that it's you. It's the job.

Don't beat yourself up, surely all teachers have been newly qualified at one point and it must be the type of job where it's gets a lot easier with experience.
You are doing an amazing job, and at such a difficult time.

Also, remember you will be much harder on yourself. I am sure no one else thinks you're doing a bad job at all. The fact you care shows you have the right attitude, but try not to put pressure on yourself.

What context did your bf message this girl?

Please try to eat, have a bath, switch off and try to get some sleep. You have two full days off now 😊

I'd get signed back off TBH, to get properly better before you hit the coal face.

Schools are pretty hideous at the moment. I'm 20 years in and more than competent, but incredibly knackered at the moment because the sands are constantly shifting in a way they never have before.