Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Long school run

59 replies

Flowerfrenzy · 13/11/2020 09:40

DS is severely dyslexic and isn’t getting the support he needs in his current mainstream school. I’ve found a fantastic school that will meet his needs but it’s 40 miles away (just over an hour by car).

AIBU sending an 11 year old to a school which is so far away from home?

Does anyone else have a child with such a long school journey and feel it is or isn’t worth it?

(Moving closer to the school isn’t an option).

OP posts:
Augustbreeze · 13/11/2020 10:36

It's not four hours a day, but two, everyone....

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 13/11/2020 10:46

No I don't think I would want my child in a taxi for that long every day. Not even sure your local authority would pay for that.

unfortunateevents · 13/11/2020 10:55

Lots of people jumping on the idea of a taxi but the OP has only said "hopefully" the county will pay for the taxi and fees - no indication of whether there is any realistic possibility of this happening. OP, have you spoken to your LA about whether there is any funding for this?

Chaotica · 13/11/2020 10:56

I wouldn't want my DC in a taxi on their own for two hours per day. Even if it is the same driver, DC will (likely) not have meaningful interactions or be able to do any work either.

BorderlineHappy · 13/11/2020 11:12

It's not four hours a day, but two, everyone....

@Augustbreeze it would be if the op was driving.An hour there and hour back.Same in the afternoon.

BawJaws · 13/11/2020 11:13

You’d be better off getting a tutor in and keeping him with his friends

It’s really isolating going that far away isn’t it?

SleepingStandingUp · 13/11/2020 11:18

IF I could guarantee a taxi and child would be happy listening to music, reading, napping etc ok.

But I strongly suspect your interpretation of "the only viable" school and theirs when it involves fees and transport will be v different

ohnothisagain · 13/11/2020 11:28

For SENDs it is not an unusual commute unfortunately, do you might have to.

Original poster
Flowerfrenzy · 13/11/2020 11:29

@ghostyslovesheets there are options more locally for post 16 so transport costs at that stage won’t be such an issue.

@unfortunateevents the suggestion of the school came from professionals dealing with DS, it would be a fight but there is a good chance we would get the school/transport at appeal.

OP posts:
Letsgetgoing888 · 13/11/2020 11:44

Is it a special school? If not, that seems a very long way away, and it’d make me wonder why there was no adequate provision more locally? Especially for something like dyslexia which is pretty common. Obviously your dc is a more severe case though, but is there no scope to have someone to support them in their current school?

goldfrog · 13/11/2020 11:48

DD is autistic and dyslexic and had to go to a special residential school which was a 2 hour drive away. We were offered a school an hour away and our educational psychologist felt the daily journey would be too stressful for her. But that's mainly due to her autism, and I expect it wouldn't be so problematic if she just had dyslexia. Everything was paid for by our LA - school fees and taxi with escort. But we had to go to tribunal to secure the funding.

I think that when the school is a specialist school and mainstream has failed them, the journey is less of a big deal and things like after school activities, having local friends and evening events etc are less relevant. Because the more important thing is having a school that can meet all their educational needs, and that can be hard to find with SN that is severe enough to need an EHCP. It's not just a matter of finding another school locally.

Original poster
Flowerfrenzy · 13/11/2020 12:05

@Letsgetgoing888 yes it’s a specialist independent dyslexia school. Some parents pay other children with EHCP are funded by their councils. DS currently has support at school but they are struggling to provide it at the level he needs.

OP posts:
UsernameChat · 13/11/2020 12:08

An hour each way to/from school doesn't seem like a hardship for me; but I grew up in a country where this was pretty standard. I walked an hour each way to/from school in primary school and caught public transport that took just as long for high school. Will your child have to be driven to school, or is public transport an option? If the latter, then I'd say if this school best meets his needs, and he is capable of travelling alone, send him. I would if it were my child.

However, I would be less keen to send a child alone in a taxi, as he's with an adult I don't know/trust, which puts him in a vulnerable position. And, as others have said, if you have to work, and the school is not on your way to work, you driving your child back and forth gives you less time to get your job done. Only you know whether this is manageable.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out, and your son gets the school support he needs.

Seeline · 13/11/2020 12:10

Socially the children come from four counties so I would have to accept that DS wouldn’t see his school friends out of school.

Would your DS accept this though? I think it would be hard for a 15/16yo to have to accept that he can't meet up with friends. If you move him, you have to be willing to facilitate some sort of social life for him.

BlankTimes · 13/11/2020 12:15

I did an hour each way twice per day school run for 5 years for my DD, many parents at that school did similar or longer journeys.

Silentplikebath · 13/11/2020 12:18

Why isn’t moving closer to the school an option? Will you have to fit in a job around driving him? I would look at home education or using specialist tutors before I decided to do that kind of travelling every school day.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 13/11/2020 12:21

Does he have an EHCP?

Are you looking to pay the fees?

The LA would not fund the taxi without at EHCP, it would not be a good use of public funds.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 13/11/2020 12:23

[quote Flowerfrenzy]@ghostyslovesheets there are options more locally for post 16 so transport costs at that stage won’t be such an issue.

@unfortunateevents the suggestion of the school came from professionals dealing with DS, it would be a fight but there is a good chance we would get the school/transport at appeal.[/quote]
Why do you think there is a good chance you would win a school/transport at appeal?

Appeal to whom?

Ron1984 · 13/11/2020 12:30

You need to think really carefully about this and if the benefits outway the time spent each day in the car. I used to have a 3hr school run each day plus working full time, this was only temporary as we moved nearer the school after 3 months - I don’t think I could have done it longer than that. Is there any way you can move closer to school?

Original poster
Flowerfrenzy · 13/11/2020 12:43

@WillSantaBeComingToTown I would submit a claim to the SEND tribunal to appeal the contents of DSs EHCP. I would have to prove that there isn’t a closer school that can meet DSs needs but if my county can find one that’s closer I would be very happy!

OP posts:
Rosieandtwinkle · 13/11/2020 12:47

We’re a 50 min drive each way, though do car share with a friend who’s about half an hour away from school (works out about 50/50). DD loves the school and it meets all her needs. She reads, chats, does times table etc on the journey. We’ve also made lots of friends local to school as well so in an emergency I have plenty of people I could call on to pick her up. Also pre-Covid we would go to a friends house or go out for supper before a concert, parents evening etc. Now all of this is online so it’s not a problem! If it’s the right school and you see the benefits from it, then the journey becomes irrelevant.

Rosebel · 13/11/2020 12:54

We were considering moving house but keeping my Y10 daughter in her current school but we decided against the move. It was only 16 miles but would take a good hour to get there and back. Her dad works close by but we decided it was too much. Especially as she likes to meet her friends (or did pre Covid) and making the extra journeys would be expensive not just fuel but wear and tear on the car.
Would you not find it ab awful tie? Can you get any extra support close to home or even on line?

cakeflower · 13/11/2020 14:47

My son with sen and an ehcp recently moved to a spld school like the one you describe and quite a lot of the others at the school have a journey of 45-60 mins each way. (Ours is half an hour max). Some are driven by parents, some have taxis on ehcps, others get school buses that can take 1 hour each way. I was surprised how few children even live in the same county the school is in!

We are appealing to have the school named on ehcp and get taxi transport. Good luck to you! I think when your child has sen the situation is different and finding the right school can be worth a longer commute. Having said that, 4 hours driving for you would be really tough. I hope you can get taxi sorted.

MzHz · 13/11/2020 16:49

From the little I know, fight for the best you can get for him, school place, educational support, transport

All of that is worth it if he’s in a place that caters to him.

DobbinReturns · 13/11/2020 17:00

My 7 year old is about to start at a school nearly 50 miles away. He has EHCP and getting LA transport, won a tribunal.

I have my concerns over the journey, and nearly ruled it out without looking. He can't cope in mainstream and there's no closer suitable schools.

Swipe left for the next trending thread