In laws

[Sunflower20001]

Long story short... My inlaws have never really liked me.
Me and OH have been together 8 years. It's always been a bit rocky, his mother has narcisstic traits, and is a very difficult character towards both me and OH.
Ie, walking out one Xmas after eating without saying goodbye for No reason , telling me i wasn't good enough for her son the new years eve we conceived our first son, didn't bother at all with OH on his birthday this year.
Bil has told OH that he needs to wake up and that i have no aspirations.

It's always been a bit of a toxic triangle between mil and 2 sons.
She goes to them, talks about us and vice versa, that's where opinions have formed because things are added on for effect, after she's caused trouble.
We fell out with Bil at last Xmas as I was blamed for OH hospital admission due to his long term condition...
And haven't spoken to him since, well until they had their baby a month or so ago. Even then OH went to see baby, no mention of me, they wanted to see DS next time.

I'm blamed for OH distancing himself from his family because of their crazy behaviour.
Mil and fil only ever come to our house to see OH and DS when I'm at work.
Mil even said the other day 'she loves OH and DS...' there's no acknowledgement of me this last year, no asking how the pregnancy / baby is, no asking how I'm Coping with it all.

I'm due baby2 in 7 weeks, am I being unreasonable to not want them here initially after I give Birth.
They don't care for me. And I'm constantly being excluded. I know once baby is here, everything will be forgotten and they'll be round like the past year never happened.
I just don't want it.

No way would I let such toxic people around my children.

I'd be firm with that.

Hope you're ok as seems pretty stressful. I think your OH needs to address this

I'm with you. They are awful and they would not be welcome in my home, which in your case is completely justified.

Time for a big talk with your husband. I should hope you have his support.

Her latest lines were that I had OH imprisoned.
And that we don't know how hard 2 children are going to be, and I'll end up on sertraline again for sure...

I've been really stable with my mental health since moving in with OH.

Whenever I speak up about their behaviours, I get told that I'm too sensitive, or too anxious.

I would not allow them anywhere near my threshold, let alone over it. Vile people. They’ve made their beds by being cruel and rude, so they can bloody well lie in them.

Is your H supportive of you and will he protect you from them?

Covid is your friend here op. Keep the fuckers away...
And get dh to stand by you - he sounds like he needs a kick up the arse on that score..

@winterwoolies yes, very, luckily.
He always knew she was a bit unstable growing up, but now he's been away from it, I think he sees it more so now.

That's part of the reason, we all fell out at Xmas, because he stuck up for me.

He agreed the other day when he went to see bil new baby, that he didn't take DS because it would be seen that it would be acceptable to treat me like that and they'd get access to OH and DS.

You say that you're being blamed a number of times.
Why do you think that?

They sound awful! You certainly won't want them around after giving birth. Stick to your guns and don't make excuses why they're not welcome (if thst's not going to cause you too much stress) - they need to understand there are consequences for their vile behaviour.

Because of certain situations that have happened over the years.

Ie OH ended up in hospital after a year and half flare up, and that was because I fed him a crap Xmas dinner, nothing to do with disease progression and trying to get him on the right medication combo, that took 3 months of each combo for them to realise it wasn't working and trying to the next thing.
It was an awful year and a half with him being so poorly.

They've said as much in their messages about me.
That I'm the one that's caused OH to back off, turned him against them etc.
They've said those words.