Tired/Depressed/Fat/Skint

[tryingnot]

I have suffered with depression and anxiety since my eldest was born and have being on antidepressants ever since. After I had her (and during the pregnancy) I put on around 5 stone and didn't lose it. The weight gain seemed to make the depression worse, I was crap with money and got into lots of debt and then my marriage broke down then covid happened.
I'm now a single mum working from home, still overweight, still depressed and still in debt.

I've started budgeting and contacting all the companies I owe money to, but I'm just so exhausted alllll the time ! I'm drinking far too much alcohol and eating crap food and I know this won't help with the exhaustion but I just don't know what to do ? Well I do know what to do, I just don't have the energy to do it.
I could easily nap most days yet get 8 hours sleep all night.

Not sure what I'm asking really, has anyone else being in this position and gotten out of it? I'm on 200mg of sertraline.

That’s a lot of stresses. It’s very difficult to change and impossible to change everything at once. Maybe write a list with some short term goals?

Could be:
Take some exercise every day (a brisk walk is fine)
Look at drinking habits and set some boundaries and goals to reduce
Write easy meal plans which include healthy choices.
Shop using a list and vastly reduce buying crap.
Build in some enjoyment. Meet a friend regularly, join a group, take up a new interest, read etc

And any RL support you have, use. Get some help with your debts. Have some goals around reducing them and figure out how to avoid getting into debt again.

None of this is easy so it needs to be broken down into smaller bits.

I don't know anything about the medication tbh but as the poster suggests above, break it down into more manageable steps.

One of the reasons that you're lacking in energy would be too much alcohol and not eating healthily. Maybe cut down on the drinking gradually and try and eat more fruit and veg etc. You've started to take control of your debt but maybe the CAB can assist with that? And it might take a bit of time for the medication to take effect. Good luck.

Oh bless you I didn't want to read and run, I feel all these things too sometimes more keenly than at others.

I too am a single parent it is absolutely knackering. I try to focus on the positives, yours are:
You have a job
You know how to bring the debt down
You know you drink and eat too much
You are I am sure a good mum with lovely kids.
You are a worthwhile and kind person

Depression, tiredness, ad's, motherhood, over-indulgence are in themselves vicious circles that self-perpetuate each other. My ds is 18 now I was in a lot of debt when he was younger but it is clearing now, I have so much more me time so I feel less tired,I am still overweight but I am just trying to be more active and eat healthily....no buggy diet or exercise regime more don't just vegetate endlessly on my bum.

It will get easier...good luck Op.

Biggy.

Breaking it all down in to smaller chunks will definitely help but the obvious first step to me would be cutting out the alcohol. It adds to the debt, the weight gain, the low mood and the exhaustion. It will also be messing with your sertraline.
Exercise- even a short stroll will help with your exhaustion, mood and weight.
When did you last have a review of your medication?
It really is a great feeling to be in control of your finances, just having a plan and an end in sight.

Brutally honest here, but you don't need an energy to swap the alcohol for a dose of vitamins. That will really give you the energy to do what you need to do overall. You don't need to stop (unless you have a problem), just say it will be only 1 evening a week.
I found that my vit D levels absolutely affect me mentally, I imagine it's true for many people with different vitamins.

With the extra energy, you can take small steps. A walk, a bit of exercise, your brain will feel clearer. It all counts together in the end.

Right so first things first here, and excuse me if I read like I'm being rude.

You're fat and you're tired. First thing you should do, call the Dr, and tell them. Ask for a sleep study to see if you have sleep apnoea, because even if you're getting 8 hours, your sleep quality will be shite and you'll still be tired and as hungry as a bear!
Next on the agenda. Like others have said, a multi vitamin and extra vitamin D. They don't cost a lot, but make a huge difference.

Then, you have to drag yourself out. Go for a walk, start at 19 minutes, 15 minutes, 20. Whatever you can do. The more you do, the better you will feel, and the more you will want to do. I promise. I fouldnt walk past the corner 4 months ago. Now I walk a minimum of half an hour a day.

In regards to drinking, how much is it? How much is it affecting your life? Are you at the point where you need to stop or can you cut down?

Well done for setting up plans to pay the debt back, thats a positive. Make a plan for what you'll spend the money on when you've finished paying it off.

It sounds like life is stressful, please try not to use alcohol or food as a feel better mechanism. I'm finding there is a way out of this, but food and alcohol aren't the way.

I find starting with exercise is first followed by not drinking.

I start with exercise because you do it then it is done for the day. It can't be taken away.

You can spend all day not eating junk then mess it up at 9pm so that's too much pressure for day 1.

I find drinking the easiest second step because you only need the willpower for a short time to not buy the booze when you are out shopping.

If you can make yourself exercise in the morning outside you will find that to be most beneficial to your mood all day. A walk, some stretching and a few tummy sucks (vacuums?) is where I start. Then the rest just seems to magically follow over a few weeks.

The eating/drinking crap is a vicious cycle. I have been stuck in it for many years and again recently when I had a MH wobble.

It would be really good to cut down on it but don’t try and do it all at once. I find making lovely healthy stuff has a better effect on me than banning “bad” stuff so one of my current aims is to have a decent lunch every day. Usually I would just end up snacking or having a ready meal but this way I get loads of veg in different colours etc. My older DCs are autistic and quite picky eaters so evening meals are more about playing it safe and so lunch for me and my 3yo is my time to have something nicer.

Getting outside really does help me but I am finding it hard on the days I don’t do the nursery run. I do find Pokémon Go helps though!

I have also got a list of exercise things I can do at home - they are all really short so I just fit things in now and then. I’m about to do my boxing game on the switch for example :o

I am really bad at routine so I also have a list of self care stuff to try and do every day. I am trying to build better habits over lockdown.

That’s such a good point about doing the exercise and then it’s done. I did a bit before my shower today and it sets me up for a better day when I do that.

I don’t know what is best for alcohol reduction as my weakness is sugar/carbs, but one other thing that has helped me is trying to fast for longer. I don’t do 16:8 but try and not eat anything after dinner and then I don’t rush to eat breakfast. I find it much easier to make no decisions than to try and figure out the right decision if that makes sense, so it’s easier for me just to not eat in the evening. When I have that handled I don’t worry too much about what I eat during the day especially when I make a good lunch.

Alcohol depletes the B vitamins and that will make you tired and feel depressed, so cutting down the alcohol and taking a B vitamin supplement will help to start with.

Big hug OP ! I recommend the book Four Pillar Plan by Dr R Chatterjee and his podcast, Feel Better, Live More.

In the meantime, this bit of your post really intrigued me, Not sure what I'm asking really, has anyone else being in this position and gotten out of it? If you did know, what would you be asking?

Cut yourself some slack - untangling your debt is painful and hard. You can't climb this mountain in one go, you've got to chip little bits at it. Focus on the debt stuff and getting out for a walk every day, even if it's just 20 minutes. The rest will come.