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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about your child with dyspraxia?

27 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 12/11/2020 12:16

Sorry, posting for traffic

If your child has dyspraxia, at what age did they get diagnosed and what was the difference between them at 5 and a "typical" 5 yo?

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isthatatree · 12/11/2020 12:26

I have dyspraxia and was diagnosed at 12, I have no issues planning (some people do) but my spatial awareness is awful even now as an adult. I walk in to door frames, hit my head getting out/in the car nearly every time etc.

I also have terrible balance and can literally fall over standing still (sober or not haha).

I also cannot stand being somewhere where lots of people are moving around me e.g. a busy train station.

Otherwise I was no different to me peers, I got good grades have a good job etc.

ScarletZebra · 12/11/2020 12:27

Dx at 7 yo. We'd been saying there was something wrong with him since he was a baby but dismissed by GP/ HV etc.

Couldn't ride a bike. Couldn't hop or stand on one leg. Fell over all the time. Dropped things. Struggled with cutlery. Left handed. Funny with clothes if they didn't feel right. Fussy with food. Odd gait.

YR teacher said he couldn't sit or lie still and couldn't fully relax. Always twitching slightly.

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 12/11/2020 12:31

I was diagnosed with clumsy child syndrome at school! Mine is organisational difficulties and messy handwriting which is not great for a primary teacher but I work at it.

I hated sport also because I have one leg longer than the other. Wasn't allowed to ice skate and I had to roller skate indoors. Lots of things were beyond me but I was fab at discus, shot and weirdly hockey!

I now have two degrees and am pretty happy. I only fall over rarely but when tired do have to remind myself to lift my feet up when walking.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 12/11/2020 12:32

DS was diagnosed at 8 or 9, but it was a secondary dx after being diagnosed with ASD at 7. It was suggested by the Ed Psych who did his statement assessment. Looking back, he had problems with most fine and gross motor skills. He still has awful handwriting, and has a workaround for shoelaces. He doesn't fall over so much these days though.

averythinline · 12/11/2020 12:35

ds got diagnosed yr1 so 6/7 - differences
no main hand - mainly left hand but sometimes right
couldt do a jigsaw if you paid him struggled with baby 4 piece at 6
commando crawled
sensitive to clothing
very sensitive to sound
very easily distracted
couldnt hop
bizarley coudl throw and catch not too bad but couldnt bat
really strglled following instructions esp for pe
very poor organisation - since been tested really poor exec processing
real issues with texture - no slime in this house!
and smell
buttons were a long work in progress
did learn to ride a bike but the 'first in the school to fail cycling proficiency as cant signal'
could use a scooter but took longer
at 5 could count and read but not write letters back to front upside down all over teh place...

is a child full of joy and loved by all teachers and adults - his nqt teacher has gone on to be a senco as really got into working out the strategies and it was a nqt that pushed for diagnosis in teh first place... not lots of friends as a bit odd - got more as older.....but hard til yr8

laptop user since yr5 - as writing still a nightmare

Didiplanthis · 12/11/2020 12:40

DD diagnosed at 9 after a long slog of knowing something wasn't right. At 5.. probably wouldn't have considered it the diagnosis. By 7 clearly not achieving at her academic potential but not sure why. Visual processing disorder diagnosed but didn't feel we were quite there. Paid for a private OT assessment at 9 as her younger brothers were clearly overtaking her in skills despite having their own problems (ASD), and struggling with writing balance etc. For her diagnosis was a game changer as she knew she was 'different' she hated being dyspraxic for about a year but then really owned it and really benefitted from understanding and having an explanation for her difference. She went from 'I hate being dyspraxic' to 'dyspraxia makes me who I am, and I'm ok'...

ChinDiaper · 12/11/2020 12:47

DD was diagnosed at 9 (also secondary to an ASD diagnosis).

Differences when she was 5

  • more clumsy than your average 5 year old. Always dropping things, or knocking them over.
  • poor body awareness. She could only hold a cup upright if she was looking at it. If she looked at something else, she would drop or tip the cup.
  • poor motor planning. An example would be she would scoot into a kerb and then fall off her scooter - despite seeing the kerb coming up, she didn't plan for it by slowing down or stopping.
  • bad at PE and sports. Couldn't catch a ball or run as fast as the others. Struggled in swimming lessons.
  • bad handwriting and drawing / craft skills, although at this age she wasn't marked out as particularly bad by school staff as I guess a lot of kids take a while to learn these. It was only commented on once she was in year 3.

As a baby she didn't crawl, and had massive difficulty moving on to drinks from a beaker or cup (she literally had no idea how to drink from them and couldn't seem to grasp it). Also some difficulty weaning onto food.

ChinDiaper · 12/11/2020 12:50

She also has massive sensory issues but its difficult to known whether that's the autism or dyspraxia (probably both).

TeenPlusTwenties · 12/11/2020 12:58

Formerly diagnosed at 16.
Didn't know her at 5, but at upper primary:

  • clumsy, chaotic
  • couldn't follow instructions on the board in sequence
  • couldn't remember lists of verbal instructions
(delayed diagnosis as many issues put down to other factors)

Now in her twenties

  • passed all her GCSEs
  • can drive an automatic car
  • uses phone to help not forget things
  • still accident prone
  • poor 'looking ahead' skills / risk assessment skills
  • needs very 'direct' communication (doesn't take hints or suggestions)
  • has job that plays to strengths and avoid weaknesses

Have friend with v.bright DC with dyspraxia

  • top grade GCSEs & A levels
  • currently at high level uni doing a hard course
  • typed most of exams
  • very sensitive to textures & food
  • learning to drive
  • not accident prone particularly
LooksLikeImStuckHere · 12/11/2020 12:58

Diagnosed when he was 7. I knew when he was 2 that something wasn’t quite right. Took a long time to walk and his legs swung out all over the place.

At 5, he was unable to use a scooter (only learned when he was 8 and even then he won’t go fast), unable to ride a bike (can just about do it at 8 but only on grass). Incredibly fearful of water and could not grasp swimming (could manage at 7 but continues to find it tricky as can’t get arms in the right place, no matter how hard he aims). The fidgeting became more pronounced the older he got.

Not being able to do laces isn’t uncommon in neurotypical children but there is something in the strength of how he holds the laces and moves them in comparison to his younger sister who got it before he did. Same with cutlery. And climbing at the park.

Personal organisation not great, dressing skills not amazing (forgets order / direction).

Interestingly, has good fine motor control in things like Lego and learned to read early. Writing and spelling has been consistently further behind.

School don’t see much because he tells me that he holds it all in. He knows his diagnosis and is very proud of it

SleepingStandingUp · 12/11/2020 13:11

Thank you.

School have agreed to ask their OT to assess but I don't know of I'm being that parent.

Sent home again with a bad head bump - 3 weeks ago ran and fell, didn't save himself, a&e and a small blob of glue. Today just walking so saved himself so just a big grazed bump. But it's the 3rd or 4th since school started back. His SENCO and 121 have commented on his clumsiness (he's on o2 so has 121 and EHCP). Hes always been clumsy and when he runs properly he puts the fear of God into me, and it always seems so wonky.a

Handwriting is getting better but progress is slow, no proper grip, and always top big. Pincer grip was very late.

Useless with buttons and zips etc.

Were still not in an open cup out of choice (at school lunch etc) and has issues with food and textures bit that was attributed to earlier medical issues

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SleepingStandingUp · 12/11/2020 13:13

Oh yes he's fairly useless on a scooter, bike he can only peddle backwards and altho he's forever climbing on my god damn furniture he's not a fan at the park, doesn't like the swings or fast slides as he doesn't feel in control. No idea re swimming as we've not tried due to the o2

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averythinline · 12/11/2020 13:37

Has he had an eye test? We went for an extended test by a behavioural optometrist....didn't get much for us but I know some have had real benefit.
We are a klutzy family and all clumsy /bump into things so dc didn't stand out!

LargeProsecco · 12/11/2020 13:44

DS was a 29-weeker & was always suspicious in pre-school years (toilet training was a nightmare). But his gross motor skills are actually good - he scored about 80ish percent in his OT assessment.

Diagnosed around age 9 as struggling with writing, fine motor skills in general.

He is messy, finds it difficult to organise things, and mainly uses a computer at school.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/11/2020 14:12

@averythinline

Has he had an eye test? We went for an extended test by a behavioural optometrist....didn't get much for us but I know some have had real benefit. We are a klutzy family and all clumsy /bump into things so dc didn't stand out!
Yeah he failed the school one, so had one at the hospital as lockdown was easing. Inconclusive- not perfect not not actionable. They'll review in X months.
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CaffiSaliMali · 12/11/2020 14:20

I was diagnosed in my early 20s.

At 5 I was clumsy and struggled with coordination - so difficulties with:
PE
Tying shoelaces
Putting the right shoe on the right foot
Catching things
Using a pencil - I was constantly getting told off for holding pencils 'wrong'.
Distinguishing left from right

I also had sensory issues with clothes, had to wear t shirts under jumpers for example due to itch. Hated socks and slippers and went barefoot indoors.

I walked on my tip toes until I was about 8.

I was also very easily distracted and day dreamed a lot. When I enjoyed something I enjoyed it a lot and had an intense focus for it. Anything else, not so much.

As an older child I struggled with things like pouring a drink (glass would overflow). I couldn't carry my cereal bowl with milk from the kitchen to the living room without spilling it - I think I was about 16 when my parents were able to stop making my drinks and carrying my cereal bowl for me.

I also struggled with organisation at school and was very forgetful. My profile was very spiky across my school subjects. I was reasonably bright and passed my 11+ but was good at some things and rubbish at other things. So maths, IT, music, art, textiles - rubbish. Latin, German, business studies and science - mediocre. I was good at History, English, French, Geography, Religious studies and classics. My friends tended to get similar grades across all their subjects and mine varied from A* - E. I was able to drop most of my poor subjects at GCSE which was lucky as anyone who looked set to get below a C in a non compulsory subject was made to drop it.

University wasn't as bad as I studied a humanities subject I was good at.

As an adult I still struggle with maths but fortunately I don't need much day to day and can do the basics. Left vs right still tricky. I don't drive, my lessons were awful - my instructor said I was the worst person he had ever had the misfortune to try and teach and that I was 'fucking rd (this was pre diagnosis). I was terrible though. It was when googling issues learning to drive in my 20s that I first heard of dyspraxia (a mumsnet thread) and had my lightbulb moment.

I drop things a lot and am always bruised from bumping into furniture and door frames.

On the plus side I am well organised because I have had to develop coping strategies so work hasn't been too bad for me and I have a good job.

I wish I was diagnosed as a child. I had so many GCSE grades a few marks away from the next grade up that I think I would have done much better with proper support in place.

Cuppatea14 · 12/11/2020 14:23

Reading with interest - my 8yo Dd has a lot of the characteristics you all describe, and her gymnastics teacher suggested we get her assessed. I have avoided it so far because I’m wary of her getting labelled as ‘different’ or for her to feel that she is lacking in some way. Her fine motor skills are good, but she struggles a lot with gross motor skills (it has taken her a year of hard work to master her bike and she’s still quite scared of it) and it does knock her confidence that she can’t keep up in the playground/in PE classes. Has anyone regretted getting a diagnosis?

LargeProsecco · 12/11/2020 14:30

@Cuppatea14 - quite the opposite- my DC's self-esteem has improved as he now realises its the dyspraxia causing things - not him being "clumsy" etc.

We can say "dyspraxia makes swimming difficult for you; I know you are doing your best"

TeenPlusTwenties · 12/11/2020 15:08

[quote LargeProsecco]@Cuppatea14 - quite the opposite- my DC's self-esteem has improved as he now realises its the dyspraxia causing things - not him being "clumsy" etc.

We can say "dyspraxia makes swimming difficult for you; I know you are doing your best"[/quote]
Yes this.
Being able to label difficulties has made all the difference(positive) to both my DC.

Cuppatea14 · 12/11/2020 15:17

Thanks guys, it’s great to get a different perspective. I have a parent/teacher meeting coming up soon so will ask for her feedback too.

betterwithouthim · 12/11/2020 15:19

Diagnosed at 6 but I had been aware there was 'something' since much younger.

Fell over constantly
Did stuff again straight after you asked her not to but not in a defiant way - more a it had gone straight over her head when you told her
Sensory issues
Didn't like things making her messy (but fine with choosing to make herself messy)
Could not do a jigsaw / Lego to save her life.
Poor motor skills
Always running hopping jumping - never just walked anywhere

Basically I used to describe her as living in a happy dream world of unicorns and rainbows!

betterwithouthim · 12/11/2020 15:21

Oh and very messy - split drinks constantly. Also seemed to be constantly about to walk into a wall / door

Agree with a pp- she's much happier knowing it's the dyspraxia that causes these things and that she's not stupid

LittleGwyneth · 12/11/2020 15:24

I was diagnosed at about 9 or 10. These days it doesn't affect me at all, other than that I find it hard to stand on one leg, find places where lots of people are moving around me (like train stations) stressful, and cannot copy sequences of movement at the gym without supreme concentration.

I took up ballet in my teens and found that having to try to copy and remember movement patterns was really helpful. Might be something to consider.

MrsToothyBitch · 12/11/2020 15:35

I was the dyspraxic child. I had:
Poor coordination- took me awhile to learn to write and I often got nagged about handwriting- I could never colour in nicely enough for my cow of a year 1 teacher, either. Throwing, catching, bat & ball games, skipping ropes, pretty much all sports bar swimming were out. Tied my shoelaces at 10 and barring trainers I NEVER had lace up school shoes. Dreaded doing things like sewing at school- I could barely cut or stick. I still can't work childproof lids, roller blinds or tin openers. I struggle with keys, too.

Spatial difficulties and depth perception: I can't draw for toffee and I struggled with scale- eg, graphs in maths would be perfect but tiny, everyone else would fill a page. Couldn't do jigsaws or shape shifter games as a baby/small child and spatial maths involving angles ot bearings was hard. I really struggled with rotational symmetry and telling the time- I think the moving hands confused me. I used to smack into walls, furniture, corners all the time.

Slow physical learning curve and slow processing: group sessions for anything practical were hell because it took me ages to grasp the basics and remember dance steps, I'd be behind the beat of a netball game etc. I can follow instructions perfectly well at my own pace (especially if handy reference aid is nearby). I also struggled to keep up with IT sessions at school, too. Mental maths was hell beyond tables etc I'd learnt by rote.

Some organisational difficulties but these really hit at 6th form/uni. I struggle with putting stuff together like putting critical opions into an essay or doing a self assessment and using smart targets etc. That particular type of writing just eludes me and I need lots of planning help! In other ways I'm very organised.

Severe noise sensitivity- still can't bear the sound of people walking behind me or around me and I jump at every noise. Very exaggerated physical reaction to noise.

Texture sensitivity: mostly to foods. I still can't do "lumpy" foods. Things like mash, yoghurt with "bits" in, chunky soup etc. Drove the school nuts.

Overall: zero confidence. I felt so useless and stupid.

Today as an adult I am much better but still have barely any self confidence. A lot of the day to day physical things eventually picked up and barring a few things that don't click I can do/use most things. I can avoid activities I know I suck at, too. I drive an automatic.

I'm very organised with coping and masking strategies- I was never untidy - and other than needing help with one type of writing, I manage well. I got straight As at A-Level & 9A/A*, 1 B at GCSE and gained a degree.

Areas it still affects me are: scale/proportion and spatial awareness(I need to "see" things and still smack into walls and furniture), no sense of direction, slightly slow learning curve and processing- have to do stuff my way & use routines to cope, unable to fathom some gadgets/not dexterous, and the sensitivities- walking in crowds, loud noises, food. I also have hypermobility, which often presents in conjunction, apparently. The biggest thing is that it has left me really underconfident.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/11/2020 16:40

I think the confidence thing is one of the reasons I'd rather be able to say yes or no and then get help if appropriate, so he knows it isn't something he's failing at, it's something that needs extra support to do iyswim.

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