to want a fresh start since the virus

Muchadoaboutlife · 2020-11-12T03:27:38+00:00

It’s made me realise that I really want to live in a proper community where people look out for each other. Everyone knows each other. People are nice. There’s a local village pub and it’s all sweet and beautiful with lovely places to walk to. I’m sick of living in commuter belt land. Does my ideal place exist? If you have it then where are you? I want to live the kind of place where neighbours pop round each other’s houses for a cuppa! Am I living in la land?

Dollywilde · 12/11/2020 03:49

My MIL lives in a place like that. Picturesque and great community spirit. But these places don’t come without their own problems. Outcomes for kids there are poor (nothing to do, drugs are rife, no jobs, can’t afford the housing), the insular community can be somewhat judgmental and she says there are times when she misses the anonymity of the city.

I’m with you on commutersville (I grew up in the suburbs) but I would say most places have their downside, even the chocolate box pretty villages

slothtrot · 12/11/2020 03:51

It's like that where I live and it's fantastic if your face fits but when it doesn't it's a very lonely existence. When work WFH I can go months without talking to another adult.

lovelemoncurd · 12/11/2020 04:32

We don't live in a village. We live in a suburb. However we have a street WhatsApp group. We organise street events. We share home grown produce, books. We check on neighbours. You don't need to move to the sticks to get it op!

Crakeandoryx · 12/11/2020 04:47

I grew up in a village like that but it's not all it seemed. A lot of interfering and judgement, no privacy and gossips were everywhere but everyone knew everyone else and there were some great village events. The downside was jobs were scarce, travelling was essential and now many of the homes are second homes with an aging population.

I now live in a town, in a cul Dr sac and there are 6/7 houses where it's a bit like you want. We all help each other out, we all meet outside for drinks, the children play together and honestly it's lovely. But we also have the miserable people, the nosey people, the quiet people etc. Community spirit is lovely but it comes at a the cost of your privacy. It's not for everyone.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 12/11/2020 05:04

We live in a village and love it here. Small enough that there's plenty of community spirit and you see people you know when out and about, but not so small that everyone knows your business. I have been here 15 years and have lots of special friends here that I made when my two children went through the local primary school.
Recently one close family all caught Corona and had to self-isolate and they said they were overwhelmed by the support they received from neighbours and friends.
We are surrounded by countryside and woods and have village pubs, coffee-shops, takeaways etc.
Few issues with drugs but that's pretty much the same anywhere you live.
I guess the downside is that house prices are high and the high street can be used as a bit of a cut-through to other places (I'd have it pedestrianised if it was up to me!)
We absolutely love it here and can't imagine being anywhere else.

Sara2000 · 12/11/2020 05:05

I think you can get that anywhere OP but its luck of the draw. DH grew up in a village but his parents didnt speak to anyone! We now live in surbirbia and would say we have some of it to an extent. Friendly neighbours who watch out for each other,parties at Christmas. But no more than that

Clockstop · 12/11/2020 05:08

@Crakeandoryx

I grew up in a village like that but it's not all it seemed. A lot of interfering and judgement, no privacy and gossips were everywhere but everyone knew everyone else and there were some great village events. The downside was jobs were scarce, travelling was essential and now many of the homes are second homes with an aging population.

I now live in a town, in a cul Dr sac and there are 6/7 houses where it's a bit like you want. We all help each other out, we all meet outside for drinks, the children play together and honestly it's lovely. But we also have the miserable people, the nosey people, the quiet people etc. Community spirit is lovely but it comes at a the cost of your privacy. It's not for everyone.

Pretty much all this. Village communities are like any other social group - think PTA on steroids

PropertyHelp · 12/11/2020 05:18

I live in a hamlet and it's very much like you describe. Nearest village with shops a mile away. My neighbour today popped round with some eggs and we collected takeaway for 3 houses on Saturday.

We are in Gloucestershire so expensive but jobs etc ok. Kids love it (for now!!)

We don't suffer with the interfering as so small (c.11 houses) but I recognise PTA on steroids being the local village . It it brilliant for community events though

garlictwist · 12/11/2020 05:24

Oh god that would be my worst nightmare. Give me the anonymity of the city any day. I don't mind passing the time of day with my neighbours but wouldn't like to live somewhere that everyone knows everyone else.

Clockstop · 12/11/2020 05:32

In my cul de sac I have to time going outside and sprint because my neighbours miraculously see me and come out to chat (be nosey). I'm sure they have some kind of camera system and alert set up purely to accost me about whether I've mown the lawn.