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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore social media requests from work contacts?

41 replies

Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:31

I am feeling fed up lately because it is harder and harder for me to maintain boundaries between my social and professional life.

When I started my job I was very surprised when my bosses added me on 2 social media platforms. I was a bit annoyed but felt I had to accept when I saw they had all my other colleagues on it and it was early days.

However I have a third platform i use for family and friends only. Now my bosses have requested to follow me there as well and I have also had 2 clients do the same.

AIBU to decline them all?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:34

Only 5 years ago my clients and bosses would have never dreamed of adding me on social platforms. I feel like there are no boundaries whatsoever anymore.

OP posts:
Slippy78 · 12/11/2020 00:35

I wouldn't have added them on the first two, let alone a third.
If work need to contact you then they can give you a call.

Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:37

Why would they even want to me follow me on everything? And have me see every aspect of their lives. 2 way street.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 12/11/2020 00:39

Absolutely no work colleagues on personal social media.

Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:41

I have a few colleagues on social media because we are friends and meet for the occasional drink/cinema etc outside work.

But having managers add me is different. I feel awkward about that.

OP posts:
Onetwothree456 · 12/11/2020 00:42

I suppose it depends what platform and what your job is? If you work in PR or marketing and your boss wants to follow you on LinkedIn and Twitter or even maybe Instagram, I'd say that's normal. Facebook for me is about keeping in touch with older relatives or cousins etc so no way would I accept colleagues on there.

Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:44

The first place they added me was Facebook. I dont use my personal Twitter or Instagram for marketing, it is personal. So not sure what difference it makes to them to have me on those?

I post about my personal life and politics on those.

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 12/11/2020 00:51

If it's Facebook I'd be tempted to put them on a restricted list where they don't see any posts and if queried say you've stopped using it. Or set up another account and move friends and family to that one.
You could block them if you are confident you can make sure you have no contacts in common.

Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 00:58

No it isnt Facebook. I actually dont mind having them on there too much as I barely use it.

But this third platform just feels like...an invasion too far? I use it more and I don't have the same option to restrict the way I would with Facebook. I am quite a private person and I bet that is behind it, they are wanting to find out what I do on weekends etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 01:03

I see it is all YANBus so far.

You know, I think I'll just ignore them and not feel bad about it. It is my right to maintain a personal and private life. Why should I accept my superiors on every social platform? And my clients? I have boundaries. If that isnt cool or the norm these days, well I dont really care.

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 12/11/2020 01:03

I'd set up new separate and private accounts in that case. It's really invasive for work colleagues to do this.

Original poster
Lizzie523 · 12/11/2020 01:05

Agree it is invasive but not sure what you mean @GrimDamnFanjo ? Why would I set up another channel?

OP posts:
rainkeepsfallingdown · 12/11/2020 04:56

Colleagues and clients can add me on LinkedIn. That's it.

At a push, former colleagues can add me on Twitter, as I have a public account and don't post anything on it that is particularly controversial.

No other social media for them. The rest is just for friends and locked down.

chatwoo · 12/11/2020 05:22

Decline them and remove the existing ones!! I doubt they would even notice (not that it matters).

Jerble · 12/11/2020 06:45

I have removed colleagues from my Facebook friend list - if they have noticed they haven’t mentioned it. One did send me a friend request about 6 months later but I just ignored it and they didn’t say anything. If anyone did ask me now, I’d just say that I don’t really use it much anymore and only keep it for family overseas so I can keep in touch with them. Which is pretty much true anyway.

SewingBeeAddict · 12/11/2020 06:47

I got rid of FB.
Best thing ever
Only use Insta for searching things and not on Twitter.
Bliss

Catflapkitkat · 12/11/2020 07:19

I've had this. Bloody annoying, I don't nor want people knowing how many standard poodle or cat groups I'm in. Nor how much time I spend on rate my plate.

Make your accounts private, ignore friend request and if they mention it say 'oh really, I never use it'

If you have to make a stunt account.

Otter71 · 12/11/2020 07:39

You choose who you accept. I will have colleagues as long as they are someone who I would go for a coffee with. My big no no is under 18s other than my own kids.

KrisAkabusi · 12/11/2020 08:25

You can't complain about Twitter. It's the social media equivalent of going out in the street and shouting your opinion. It is only about wanting to be seen. Anyone can follow anyone on it.

ekidmxcl · 12/11/2020 08:36

I have to say I don’t understand this.

What is your objective when posting on Twitter? It exists to publicise stuff. As a private person, why do you publicise stuff?

Social media is one of the very worst advances in technology.

billy1966 · 12/11/2020 08:40

OP,
YANBU.

Pure nosiness.
Don't add them.
Restrict the people you have added.

It is perfectly reasonable to say it's family and close friends only.

Keep your private life completely separate from colleagues.

A old friend of mine who has a huge job in HR has been banging on for the last decade about SM footprint.

With her own children she was always telling them to never put anything up that they wouldn't be happy for Granny to see or read.

Recruitment companies do it before they submit candidates to clients.

kitschplease · 12/11/2020 08:42

I have one work colleague on FB but I count her as a friend too in that we (in normal times) would go for a wine and talk about non-work things.

Brefugee · 12/11/2020 08:48

Nobody can add you on facebook - they ask you and you say "yes" or "no".

If you say "yes" there they are, in effect you added them. If you think it is awkward, make lists and put them on the one that sees nothing (or very occasional bland stuff)

Or you can delete them. And if they ask - say you have been reading Personal Life Coaching books and think it's better to separate your personal life from your work life.

LinkedIn is a bit different - that really depends how you feel about professional networking

Twitter - it's open house. Unless you restrict your account. Not sure how you can make people unfollow you apart from actually blocking the ones you don't want, setting your twitter to private, then unblocking them.

Eyewhisker · 12/11/2020 08:51

How about you send them a LinkedIn request and just ignore the Facebook ones? LinkedIn fine, facebook etc no

BashfulClam · 12/11/2020 08:54

My name is hidden on Facebook. I don’t use my normal name it’s got extra letters so no one can find me unless I want them to.