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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help me out here

99 replies

Oversosoon · 11/11/2020 16:41

A long time ago, A was leaving the country and getting rid of stuff. She had a bike which she gave to B. After a while, B found she wasn't really using the bike and let C use it. After a while the bike got stolen. B asked C for compensation. C refused on the grounds that B hadn't paid anything for it herself. Who was right, B or C?

OP posts:

donquixotedelamancha · 11/11/2020 20:39

A didn't buy it for B as a gift for a particular reason, she just had to get rid of it and B got lucky. This is what puts a different slant on it for me.

But that's not really your concern. If I was B I wouldn't want the money for that reason but that's her decision.

if she had wanted to use it and asked for it back I would have given it back to her, but she never asked.

She did, just after the point where you didn't have it- so she asked for the monetary equivalent which, while potentially a little miserly, is not wrong. How much money were you talking and was that the cost new or a token amount?

Regardless you are clearly still bothered by it all. Is that because you regret the loss of friendship or because you worry you behaved poorly?

dementedma · 11/11/2020 20:41

C owes B a bike

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 11/11/2020 20:42

@Oversosoon

Thanks again everyone, and yes, I am C. I have to admit, its closer than I thought it would be in terms of replies which I find surprising.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland makes a point that I found hard to put into words in my OP, that A didn't buy it for B as a gift for a particular reason, she just had to get rid of it and B got lucky. This is what puts a different slant on it for me. That we were both in more of an 'easy come, easy go' situation.

As I've said before, I can't answer the question was it given or loaned to me. For sure if she had wanted to use it and asked for it back I would have given it back to her, but she never asked.

What did she say when she have it to you?

Tbh if it's ambiguous whether she loaned it to you or not and took no steps to ensure you knew where you stand, then it's really cheeky to decide it was a loan once she could make some money off it.

flaviaritt · 11/11/2020 20:58

As I've said before, I can't answer the question was it given or loaned to me. For sure if she had wanted to use it and asked for it back I would have given it back to her, but she never asked.

But you have scrupulously avoided any questions about what was said when it was given/loaned to you. So I have to assume you are the CF. Sorry. Pay for the bike.

Original poster

Oversosoon · 11/11/2020 21:01

OchonAgusOchonO This all happened decades ago which is why I'm shaky on the details.

The reason I posted is because it came up in a conversation last week, in which B gently teased me about it, saying I had been 'naughty' not to compensate her. To be honest I was a bit taken aback that she would mention it after so long, and a bit affronted at being called naughty. Being a bit of a wuss about confrontation I just let it go, but it's been praying on my mind a bit, hence my post.

OP posts:

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 11/11/2020 21:06

Oh Jesus, decades ago? B needs to get a life,or a new bike.

OchonAgusOchonO · 11/11/2020 21:06

@Oversosoon - The reason I posted is because it came up in a conversation last week, in which B gently teased me about it, saying I had been 'naughty' not to compensate her.

Which does kind of suggest it was loaned, rather than given, to you.....

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/11/2020 21:16

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland makes a point that I found hard to put into words in my OP, that A didn't buy it for B as a gift for a particular reason, she just had to get rid of it and B got lucky. This is what puts a different slant on it for me. That we were both in more of an 'easy come, easy go' situation.

But it doesn’t really matter how B obtained the bike. It could be said that you ‘got lucky’ too, in that you knew she hadn’t paid for it, so could justify not compensating her. If you didn’t know A, and therefore didn’t know that she’d given the bike to B, would you still not have offered her anything for it?

For the record, I don’t think B covered herself in glory here either - especially now you’ve said this happened years back and she’s raking it up. It sounds like she saw the bike getting nicked as a chance to get some cash for something she didn’t want anyway.

chickenyhead · 11/11/2020 21:26

OP are A B and C family members? Mutual friends?

Tbh, I would make a point of now paying her. Then drop her like a brick.

donquixotedelamancha · 11/11/2020 21:32

Tbh, I would make a point of now paying her. Then drop her like a brick.

Yes, throw away a decades old friendship because she mentioned an incident in passing that makes OP uncomfortable.

jelly79 · 11/11/2020 21:34

B is grabby! The only time B has ground for an issue if they asked for the bike back because they needed it and C then said oh it got stolen without a real care.

If C has told B the bike has gone then B should just put it down to 'shit happens' B is no worse off

B should not ask for compensation(for what!!!)

Wearywithteens · 11/11/2020 21:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

ChronicallyCurious · 11/11/2020 21:52

C borrowed a bike and didn’t return it. Therefore C owes B a bike, I am baffled how they wouldn’t think they did? It doesn’t matter how B acquired the bike.

flaviaritt · 11/11/2020 22:19

The reason I posted is because it came up in a conversation last week, in which B gently teased me about it, saying I had been 'naughty' not to compensate her

Huge info missing. What happened at the time?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 11/11/2020 22:24

I just cannot imagine a friend being like B. If A wanted rid of it it can't have been worth that much, surely. Then B wasnt even using it either. It seems to odd to equate financial value to what sounds like a hand me down.

Merryoldgoat · 11/11/2020 23:32

Decades? Ffs.

walkerboot · 12/11/2020 00:12

If B said 'hey could I have that bike back' and C said 'no sorry it got nicked' and made no offer to replace or compensate, that's a bit shitty of C.
If C told B the bike got stolen and then B jumped on the opportunity for financial gain despite never actually wanting the bike back anyway, then B is a bit shitty.
But if it happened decades ago B really needs to let it go.

GlamGiraffe · 12/11/2020 00:23

I'd get B a similar second hand bike from ebay and drop it off at hers with a bow on! Tell her you didnt know how much it mattered to her.

Shes very petty. Over a free bike which she wasnt interested in riding (a yea would indicate so) but which was of use to you, but she saw the loss of as a financial gain. 🤨
is she like this with money in general?

Chocolatebutton43 · 12/11/2020 00:24

Well I think B is being petty, but B is right. She will have to buy another bile now because it got stolen in C’s care. B is at a loss because (maybe?) of C’s actions (if C didn’t take care of the bike). So of anyone can claim recompense it’s B.
However, I wouldn’t do it, it’s not as though C did it on purpose, they can’t be that good as friends...

Notcontent · 12/11/2020 00:27

This should have been discussed when B first offered the bike to C.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/11/2020 00:32

Well of i was B I don't think I would fall out with a friend over a bike I got for free and never used and had basically given away.

chickenyhead · 12/11/2020 02:19

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

And hold on to that bitterness for decades

CircleofWillis · 12/11/2020 02:25

Didn't you feel grateful to B for lending you one of her possessions for a year? Think of all the bus fairs etc you saved in that time.

I bet you bought yourself a bike soon afterwards...

warriorsmain · 12/11/2020 02:35

Hmmm B wasn't using using the bike so maybe was a little pleased it was out the way then they learnt it had been stolen so expected something in return?? But also if I was C I would have felt bad it had been stolen whilst in my possession. Sorry haven't read the full thread.

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