To have just had enough

[Menmy3]

My grandad died in lock down, my mum is dying and my husband has cheated on me which to my knowledge he’s never done before and walked out on me after 14 years. It’s like he’s chosen the worse time to do it all. He has serve PTSD and I have supported him so much, I’ve put up with a lot, now he’s just abandoned me. Our entire lives are wrapped up together, I’m devastated and I’m also so humiliated. Don’t feel like I can look forward because if my mum. Haven’t slept properly in months. He can not see the extent of what he’s done.

Yanbu I'm sorry

Can you visit your mum and spend real time with her?

It does sound so hard - I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this. Do you have any real life support?

Separating lives can be messy and painful, but ultimately so liberating. I hope this is where the process takes you.

Advice I was given when in a similar situation years ago was that it’s ok to stay still for a bit if you aren’t sure where to jump. Take a breath. It won’t be like this forever.

@thaegumathteth

Yanbu I'm sorry

Can you visit your mum and spend real time with her?

No she’s isolating x x x

Thank you feels like I’m in fog at the moment. I have lovely friends but they all have happy families and I just feel really bitter I’m the one who hasn’t. And embarrassed. Sounds pathetic but I feel I always just get the s**t. It’s just my mindset at the min which I know is bad so I think I’m better keeping my distance which in lockdown is easy to do x x x

Don’t waste your energy trying to make him understand what he did. You can’t force people to see what they don’t want to see. Let him go.

Focus on you and your needs and spending time with your mum. He’s likely to be the one humiliated when things don’t work out. He will then probably try and come back and carry on as normal. Again, don’t waste your energy on him. He doesn’t deserve someone as caring as you.

Pick yourself up and grit your teeth and do what needs to be done. It’s ok to be hurting inside, this will not be forever. Things are tough now but you are strong and will get through this.