Will try and keep this as brief as I can. Was married 7 years together for 16. Split up 2 1/2 years ago divorced (I divorced him - due to his drinking and abusiveness) we have kids together but he’s a typical weekend Disney dad. Never has them overnight. Sees them for about 8 hours one day of the weekend. I get maintenance but it’s the legal amount he has to pay and not a penny more. No extras. I never ask for extra. After we split he began harassing stalking and threatening to kill me. He was arrested, admitted it but cps wouldn’t charge so I went to WA and got a non mol with legal aid via the courts. He broke it twice , both times reported and he got a slapped wrist and discharge at court.
The non mol has since expired and he now picks them up From my door one day a week. I have asked him to see them one night in the week too as I work FT but he won’t. He’s now got a new gf kids not met her as yet.
Anyway at the weekend he had them and I was taken I’ll at home and had to be taken to a and e via ambulance
When he collected them I told him I was unwell (it’s an ongoing condition which I am having surgery for in a few weeks ) I had been in pain all night and taken strong painkillers so I asked him to collect the children earlier. Because he collected them earlier he wanted to return them earlier. I said no you need to keep them occupied so I can rest and sleep (I had literally been up all night ) he wasn’t happy about this.
When I told him I was going to hospital (ambulance job gas and air and iv morphine ) he began texting me every 20 mins asking how I was getting on and how long I would be. He refused to keep the kids overnight at his house and wanted to drive them 30 miles and drop them off with my elderly mother. This was not convenient and shes my only childcare and does more than enough helping out as it is while I work and he knows this. I told him no they are your children I am unwell and you need to help out and look after them. Eventually he agreed to sit with them at my house until I came home. He wouldn’t stay overnight on the sofa or in one of the kids room while I rested (I had a fair bit of morphine before being sent home with codeine phosphate tablets) the children asked him to stay and he still said no and left. They also asked him to come over on the Sunday as they knew it would be a pj day with me unwell and again he said no I am busy
When I was sat in a and e a receptionist came over to tell me that my mum had called them for an update on my condition and how long I would be there what time I arrived etc as she had been trying my mobile and couldn’t get through. The phone was in my hand and I thought it strange but thought perhaps my eldest son who’s a teen had called her to let her know. I rung her and she knew nothing about where I was so in short it wasn’t her calling to check up on me. The only person who knew i was there was my ex husband. So he either got his mother or girlfriend to call and check up on me. I am absolutely livid and very upset about it. I have asked him about it by wattsapp (didn’t do it in front of the kids) and he’s simply ignored me.
This isn’t the first time this sort of thing has happened. When we first split I had a small part time job and I was anonymously reported to dwp as working and claiming. My landlord was also called up by a woman asking how I was going to pay my rent now I was a single parent
I just feel so low and pissed off. Not well raising children alone as he is no help or support in any way shape or form and recently gone through a break up with someone (whole other thread and not relevant to this situation) I am now going to be having surgery and coming home and being alone with no one to look after me or even ask If I am ok. I just feel like utter shit right now