About playdates and wfh

[DancingQueen2018]

Dh is still wfh and will be probably until the spring next year (upstairs in the spare room). It’s not a problem at the moment with lockdown, but previously he’s complained about bringing home other children for a play after school. Not every day - twice a week max, I always keep them downstairs and as quiet as possible, but they’re children and do make a certain amount of noise.

I always did it when he was at work and think he’s being a bit unreasonable it is our home after all, not an office, I’ve offered to keep it to once a week but even that’s too much and he wants none.

AiBU to ignore him and keep having children over once a week once lockdown 2 is done?

Why do they need to play with other kids twice a week? Are they then at someone else's house twice a week?

It's hard enough to concentrate with my own kids in the house not a chance having anyone else's over.

YANBU! I think once a week is a good compromise, it has to be give and take. DH and I are also WFH and although there's been zero play dates (Wales, we've barely been out of lockdown) I don't keep the kids quiet if he's working and I'm not and vice versa. It's not fair, it's the kids' home and not an office.

Does he have a job where he needs absolute silence or something? Or are the walls paper thin? Or is he just a bit selfish and intolerant?

Dp and I actively arranged play dates for dd (me on Fridays as I don’t work that day and Dp in school hols) because lockdown and missing school for months was crap enough for her. Poor kid needed some time with friends.
Good job we did as we’re now back in lockdown.

We still managed to do well paid professional jobs requiring lots of Teams calls.
Get some headphones.

Headphones and a lock on the door.

DH has his work life, kids have their life.

YANBU. Do you have a garden? Can you shove him in a shed down the bottom of it with a camping heater and a generator and get on with your lives?

Oops misread the last sentence as being "until lockdown 2 is done". Sorry! YANBU

Even out of lockdown SD applies so I’d only be hosting outdoors where they can play at a distance.

To those saying he can reschedule calls, I don’t think saying to my colleagues, boss or clients “sorry I can’t have our call just now because my child is having a play date” would go down very well. I get that it’s your home but it’s not fun having to work in a home either.

I would reduce the number of play dates to a few of month and plan them well in advance at a time that works for everyone. If your DH gets enough notice then I’m sure he could let you know when would be less disturbing

I think it depends on the size of house, what the set up is etc. My husband says similar as he has loads of conference calls and our bedroom is being used as an office, our house is too small to not hear the noise of children playing. Then again, we have friends who have loft rooms and work in them or have ordered garden offices. In a larger space I can't see the problem as much. The other thing is that I prefer my husband to be available to either pick up and host them or be around to help as I find them exhausting.

The children do see their friends all day though so I'm not sure why playdates are essential. I do them but in all honesty, my youngest Dc likes the idea more than the reality, gets tired after school, particularly in the winter and wants down time away from people so they run out of things to do.

Reschedule work things so that a play date can be facilitated???! How Ridiculous 😂😂. I don’t think he is being unreasonable at all.

I would have no play date when I am WFH. Weekends would be all the play dates

Yanbu, play dates are important to kids and its difficult to arrange them at weekends which is often seen family time.
Its your home, I would compromise on once a week and keep kids downstairs.