Who is bu here?

[Elephantisintheroom]

Dh sometimes has to leave very early for work. 5am. He will also sometimes get emergency work calls in the very early hours before everyone else wakes up.

I usually set my alarm for 6.15am anyway and wake the dc up by 7.

If dh leaves early he often wakes me up to tell me he's going and if he gets an early call he will stomp around the house talking loudly/shouting on the phone waking me up and I can't get back to sleep.

I think he should go downstairs, close the door and try to be quiet.

Yanbu.

Ditto OP. My dh is an HGV driver up in middle of the night for work. He has three alarms his phone the radio and his I pad that has a bloody rooster alarm shrieking at all hours.
It drives me nuts.

Have you told him. Actually said the words that he's an inconsiderate twat and if he doesn't pack it in you're going to wake him in an anti social way when he's not up early just to hammer your point home?

He is BU, You need to tell him to be more considerate in the mornings. Why do some people just not realise how loud they are being? My Ex was like this, he would make such a big deal of having to get up early because he was going to work, and I "sat in the sofa all day" (I was actually looking after newborn and toddler) He would make such a fuss doing night feeds too, I just got up and did them in the end, couldn't be bothered with the huffs and puffs. But then he was a selfish, narcissistic prick.

He is being very very U, what an asshole, why does he think you're unreasonable to want to sleep?

@HiyaMeAgain

He is BU, You need to tell him to be more considerate in the mornings. Why do some people just not realise how loud they are being? My Ex was like this, he would make such a big deal of having to get up early because he was going to work, and I "sat in the sofa all day" (I was actually looking after newborn and toddler) He would make such a fuss doing night feeds too, I just got up and did them in the end, couldn't be bothered with the huffs and puffs. But then he was a selfish, narcissistic prick.

At least he's your ex now

WHY is he behaving in such an inconsiderate way? We'd be having words about WHY because it's such a selfish thing to do & not how you'd treat someone you love.

I'd WANT him to tell me he was going though. As long as the information is delivered with a hug & a kiss goodbye.

I’d tell him to stop purposely waking you up and that if he gets a midnight call, he should leave a note for you in kitchen.
A good practice would be that he puts his clothes on in the lounge, so every night have him put next days clothes downstairs. That way, he can get up, slip out the bedroom and have everything he needs to get ready and go to work.

Mines the same. He want me to get up with him. But he didn't get up with me when I used to go training at 5am, I'd have all my clothes ready, get dressed in the dark and leave within 5 minutes of getting up. He's lovely otherwise though so I can live with it.

@PlanDeRaccordement

I’d tell him to stop purposely waking you up and that if he gets a midnight call, he should leave a note for you in kitchen. A good practice would be that he puts his clothes on in the lounge, so every night have him put next days clothes downstairs. That way, he can get up, slip out the bedroom and have everything he needs to get ready and go to work.

This is what a decent person would do, or variations of.

Your DH is actually being a prick. There's no need for him to wake everyone, and I'd wonder if there's a bit of "if I have to get up, why should everyone else get to stay asleep".

But then, I have an ex who would wake everyone up, and it turned out to be for this very reason. It "wasn't fair" for us to remain asleep, you see.

He's an ex for a great many reasons, including this.

HE is being unreasonable..

I would either move him to the spare room or move in there myself, get some earplugs & a lock on the door.

He has the whole 'if I cant sleep, no one else is allowed to' mentality. Selfish, inconsiderate and rude. What is the benefit to anyone in the family of you being more tired? If me or my husband need to leave a message for tbr other we text so the other will see it first thing.

If one of us gets up early we set the alarm to vibrate, keep the lights off, and leave our clothes in another room to get dressed there. I'm a grump in the mornings at the best of times but I'd be livid at losing sleep for no good reason just because he couldn't be arsed to show any consideration to everyone else that lives in the house

@TurquoiseDragon
Yes. It’s exactly what I did when I had a job like that. My DH would be the one getting the DCs up and off to school so he needed those extra hours of sleep. It just smacks of self importance for the OPs DH to be so inconsiderate.

He's being a prick.

How would he like it - on the mornings he gets up at 5.00am - if you woke him at say, 3.30? And you then wandered round the house, shouting on your phone, opening drawers and closing them, etc. Just to deprive him of the extra 90mins sleep he could have had, but you decided he didn't need?

Because it's a good job he's not married to me. If he woke me an hour or so before my alarm went off that's exactly what I'd fucking do to him the next night.

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@TurquoiseDragon
Yes. It’s exactly what I did when I had a job like that. My DH would be the one getting the DCs up and off to school so he needed those extra hours of sleep. It just smacks of self importance for the OPs DH to be so inconsiderate.[/quote]
It's not hard to be considerate, just takes a bit of organising the night before. I've had to be up at stupid hours before, and never woke anyone up then.

I don’t really understand this post, do you want us to have a word with your DH? Yabu, tell him to be quiet ffs

Tell him not to be so loud if that is what bothers - it matters not what we think.

I think I'm confusing feeling a bit sorry for him getting woken up with my right to not be woken up unnecessarily early.

Of course I have told him he makes excuses. I can't tell if he doesn't realise how noisy he is or he doesn't care.

My DH wakes around the same time and I never hear him. He preps his stuff and takes it downstairs to get ready.

He is a twat on a Saturday for some reason as 7am is late for him and thinks that is an acceptable time to start DIY.

I get up at 4.30 3 days a week and I creep around the house getting ready in the dark or downstairs. YANBU