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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My cousin is about to give up her career as a teacher to join a pyramid scheme

229 replies

OurHouseInTheMiddle · 10/11/2020 11:29

AIBU to tell her that she is insane? I cannot cope with her Facebook posts anymore either! She has honestly become brainwashed.

OP posts:
Notcontent · 10/11/2020 13:33

The reality is that there are no “easy” ways to make money.

CleverCatty · 10/11/2020 13:39

@username108

I watch and laugh at the stupid fools who get sucked into MLM's. With so much information available on the internet about how they work, nobody has an excuse for being so stupid.
But they believe their own BS.

The Arbonne woman I know was nice enough - and I think (because I like playing people sometimes) - believed her own crap. I actually mentioned something about MLMs, how I wasn't sure etc - that was when she introduced me to her 'mentor' - the one who got the white Merc, the first thing they spoke about was some brand new expensive earrings she'd bought with her 'commission'. They make it all sound very nice, it was drinks in a nice pub, hi hun etc - I understand if you're the type of person who's easily hooked into this and self-help books like The Secret etc - then MLM and the bots are a dream for you.

This Arbonne person's FB posts are all about positive vibes, haters gonna hate etc... who out there out of any of us don't want 'their dream lives'? But most of us are realistic

BiBabbles · 10/11/2020 13:43

As others said, MLMs use tactics similar to cults for recruiting, and the same emotions get involved. Belonging, answers to difficult questions, and - to begin with - positivity at a negative time (before the 'you're not trying hard enough if you're failing' and control begins). Research gives strong evidence that emotional vulnerability and desires for ideals/positivity are factors, but nothing to do with intelligence, even when looking at those who end up in multiple cults. If information being available was enough, there wouldn't be an obesity epidemic or people who fall into shitty relationships. This is just a shitty relationship with the recruiter and company involved.

There is a lot of writing out there on helping people at risk of cults, and most of the research is counterintuitive to how most want to go. The time for articles on how shite they are is after they come out - relief and firming the position as people can be wobbly for a while and at risk of ending up in another 'solution'. At this point it's more likely to cause defensiveness similar to a teen falling in love and will fit very nicely into many recruiter's rhetoric that others just don't know/are jealous.

The important thing is maintaining a connection, keep them talking, and discussing any positives in a more general way - if she seems happier, talk about how it's great to see her moving her life in a happier direction. Dig into why this specific one makes her feel good and a place she belongs, ask questions about plans, ask innocent awkward questions like how much the person recruiter is making in profit, about writing a business plan and places to have it looked at, about looking into the kind of records banks want for mortgages like that. Be an alternative source of positivity and understanding that these groups give in heaps at the start.

Even the brightest can have an emotional crisis that leads to falling for someone else's answers to the problems. That's what MLMs are, just wrapped up in 'empowerment' and 'girl boss' (ugh). So, you wouldn't be U to feel like she's being brainwashed, but it would be U to call her insane if you want to start reverse the process.

Whether you want to do that is up to you, I don't think anyone should feel obligated to do that, but recommend either unfollowing as that train wreck isn't good to watch but you may want to be around when she comes out or have a google of talking people at risk of cults. Much of it can be applied here.

randomer · 10/11/2020 13:43

Perhaps she's lonely. Her present career is unrewarding. They prey on vulnerable poeple, intelligent people can be vulnerable too.

dottiedodah · 10/11/2020 13:44

Perhaps Teaching hasnt turned out quite like she thought it would though? It is a hard Career for many(have Cousins/Friends who teach)These schemes promise a dream for many people .They say if something sounds too good to be true ,then it probably is!However she may not welcome you saying what you think really.Its a shame that these schemes are still running .

shreddednips · 10/11/2020 13:55

I can completely understand why teachers would be vulnerable to these schemes and their massive promises. I had a teacher colleague who shilled Arbonne with his girlfriend. He was such a fun, interesting person when I met him but once he was sucked in, it was all he talked about.

He was constantly trying to talk to people in the staff room about his 'business', trying to sell and recruit downlines. It was completely inappropriate and I couldn't believe that he thought it was ok to try and do this in a professional setting. My husband and I are vegan and he really latched onto it and was absolutely incessant trying to persuade us that we needed his products and should consider joining.

We used to sometimes go to the pub for drinks but started turning down his invites as he only wanted to recruit. I have a load of messages in my inbox asking to meet to discuss the 'opportunity', even years later. I can only imagine how many friends he's lost this way.

LindaEllen · 10/11/2020 13:56

To be perfectly honest, when I did Body Shop I earned quite a bit of money from it - but the problem is now that the market's just saturated and everyone knows someone relatively close to them that offer the products.

When I did it, I lived in a block of flats and I went round putting catalogues through doors and said knock at mine if you want to place an order. I was always surprised at how many did.

I stopped when I moved out of the flat. It was such a brilliant thing to have all those people and very few people working as consultants. I certainly wouldn't do it now, though.

WeAllHaveWings · 10/11/2020 13:58

I have someone trying to sell FM perfumes on one of my local FB pages.

Recently she keeps posting asking what charities need help as she can provide all the overpriced copy perfumes at reduced prices Hmm for raffle prizes or if anyone needs charity Christmas present donations etc. Then posting to say how much someone saved giving to charity vs paying full RRP cost.

Targeting charities, or those donating to charities is ruthless.

Gingernaut · 10/11/2020 14:02

Facebook is awash with this shit.

Every other job ad, Marketplace post and 'online Christmas Fair' is just awash with FM perfumes, Body Shop and Avon.

It's sickening.

goose1964 · 10/11/2020 14:08

Apparently there's a way of reporting these Facebook posts because they're adverts an should be paid for.

movingonup20 · 10/11/2020 14:26

I thought the body shop had well shops, I haven't seen one recently admittedly but then I haven't been to the shops since January. I sold Avon and it made a modest living, ok for a sahm married to someone who earned a decent amount which is what I was

fridgepants · 10/11/2020 14:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

fridgepants · 10/11/2020 14:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

movingonup20 · 10/11/2020 14:32

@CleverCatty

It comes into the category but unlike these new upstarts is a tried and tested business and was always a way of women who didn't work to make a little money of their own, ditto Tupperware etc. I sold Avon and the projections were low, nobody suggested it was going to make lots of money

CleverCatty · 10/11/2020 14:36

[quote movingonup20]@CleverCatty

It comes into the category but unlike these new upstarts is a tried and tested business and was always a way of women who didn't work to make a little money of their own, ditto Tupperware etc. I sold Avon and the projections were low, nobody suggested it was going to make lots of money [/quote]
It seems to be still technically an MLM though...

cjpark · 10/11/2020 14:39

Are Temple Spa MLM? they seem to be the main products being sold here? Along with tropic, body shop, Avon, younique etc !

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/11/2020 14:41

the problem is now that the market's just saturated ...

Also worth remembering that in reputable sales reps have a "territory", whereas MLMs will take on anyone at all regardless of location, population density or anything else

Oh, and those "Vegas vacations" someone mentioned often aren't vacations at all ... they're training events dressed up to look that way, but for which members often have to pay

CanIPutMyTreeUpYet · 10/11/2020 14:44

The posters saying “if she’s stupid enough to fall for this, she shouldn’t be teaching” - I worked with a very talented teacher who became embroiled in this MLM madness and I was utterly shocked. She was an assistant head fgs.
But then her husband left his job to retrain as something else and it was very low paid, so I’m guessing they needed extra cash.

Elbels · 10/11/2020 14:47

My ex housemate recently messaged me out of the blue to say she hoped I was coping ok during Covid and then within seconds moved on to asking me to join her business venture /MLM.

I found the whole interaction really sad, she's so clever, studied at top US and UK universities and has critical thinking skills but this has evidently taken over . She claims on her Facebook that whatever product she was selling cured her PND and made her lose weight which feels really dangerous.

BitOPorkPie · 10/11/2020 14:48

MLMs make my blood boil. They are disgusting and predatory. I'd have to say something to your friend, out of care for her. Maybe send her some links as mentioned by PP. I don't know how people still fall for this rubbish.

As someone who has grown an actual business with my husband and experienced how stressful and hard that is, it really bugs me when the bots go on about being entrepreneurs and business 'owners'. Shilling shit shampoo for a pyramid scheme is not running your own business.

I can't believe there are people daft enough packing in actual jobs for this rubbish but there seem to be a few!

dallafela · 10/11/2020 14:49

An ex-friend of mine gave up her successful career as a solicitor in a very good firm to join an MLM a few years ago. I'm not sure who sold the idea of her particular MLM to her, but somebody did a very good job of convincing her that she'd be able to make just as good money selling it as in the career she'd spent 15+ years building. Her son was around 18 months old and she'd struggled a bit with going back to work after maternity leave, so I suppose I can kind of understand why she might let herself be convinced it was a good idea. Of course it didn't turn out to be lucrative at all, and she lost several friendships as well as probably a fair bit of money in the next few months before all mention disappeared from her social media.

She's very smart and educated, so I still wonder whether she really was duped or whether she knew exactly what MLMs are like but just let herself believe that she was in early enough to get herself somewhere near the top of the pyramid.

Hardbackwriter · 10/11/2020 14:53

I once read - I have no idea whether this is a mainstream theory or the musing of the one person writing an article - that everyone thinks cult members must be stupid but that actually smart, educated people can get themselves particularly deeply entangled because once you've overcome the initial hurdle of convincing them that something is a good idea they are very reluctant to admit their judgement failed them and endanger their belief in themselves as a good/critical thinker, so they become more and more entrenched the more people try to appeal to their reason

nevermorelenore · 10/11/2020 14:57

@Gingernaut

Facebook is awash with this shit.

Every other job ad, Marketplace post and 'online Christmas Fair' is just awash with FM perfumes, Body Shop and Avon.

It's sickening.

Yep. All the local Facebook pages close to me have had threads for 'virtual xmas fairs' so that we can support local businesses, which is really nice because I'd love to support some local sellers who are struggling, especially in this terrible year. All the legit posts are drowned out with absolute crap. Body Shop, Avon, that laxative coffee, bloody Scentsy, Forever Living, whatever the fuck that is. Half of it isn't even Christmas stuff. I really, really want to point out to the admins that you can't 'shop local' by buying from someone selling this junk.
Reborn2020 · 10/11/2020 14:57

Ah she will make a massive fortune - let her be - don't be jealous - in fact join her 'team'.

She will be a Executive of her business in no time - living her best life and who are you to get in the way.

Wink

Sadly though many will not see through MLM schemes and think it is a quick way to riches. All you can to is point her in the direction of the information out there about how many join and end up earning little, paying out to purchase products etc and annoying friends and family with the constant facebook/RL/other social media badgering to join up and sell or purchase products.

Good luck

Cam2020 · 10/11/2020 14:59

The snarky bitch in me says that if she's daft enough to fall for that bollocks then she absolutely shouldn't be responsible for educating children.

I must be a snarky bitch because I completely agree Grin