To be pissed off...

[OnNaturesCourse]

DP got caught speeding - not defending him but the road had only just been reduced from a 70 to 50 - he was going 70. He was threatened with court action but its first ever offence he was offered a £100 fine and 3 points. 3 points is going to effect our insurance - currently between us we have none so our insurance is quite manageable.

£100 isn't something we really have at thr moment after furlough etc but I thought we'd manage it, we'd need to.

Roll forward a month and he's just got another ticket for doing 59 in a 50 zone through motorway roadworks (temp speed reduction zone) this time he's been offered a speed course so won't get points but it's going to be around another £100.

We literally do not have £200 plus additional insurance costs to pay all this just now, and I'm feeling quite pissed off with him for this additional stress. I'm trying to be reasonable and not get too upset with him as I can see he's stressed by it too, but at the same time once is a mistake twice is just utterly stupid especially after about 15 years driving with not so much as a parking ticket! Where can we magic £200 from?! Our credit is maxed, our bills are as low as they can be all thanks to furlough and reduced hours. We've been being so careful with money over the year to get by, and he's just been so careless.. Its really bothering me.

I too have just been caught speeding after 14 years with not so much as a parking ticket! Similar circumstances to your husband, the limit recently changed. Not that that is an excuse at all, I'm mortified by it.

Anyway, my insurance is unaffected. Prenium hasn't increased at all.

You do just need to pay the fine though, or it will go to court abd suddenly be much more than £200. If there isn't a close relative you could borrow from then up your credit card limit or overdraft just to get it covered. Not ideal but what else can you do?

Our credit limit is maxed, and we don't have family to borrow that amount from. They have all been effected by furlough as well, and are actually still off work.

I'm at a total loss and he keeps asking when "we" can pay the fines.

You could contact them and see if you can set up a payment plan. I did that with a council parking ticket that I forgot about because I didn't want to pay the 175 pounds in one go.

What does he have that he can sell to raise the money?

He needs to sell something. Coming up for Christmas, it is a good time to get rid of higher value items e.g. games consoles, phones, jewelry/watches etc. He could easily get £200 if he has a couple of decently valuable things he could sell for cash, though he won't get anything like the retail value of them.

Well he's a prat OP. Hopefully the speeding course will teach him something so he can stop risking others lives in the road.

As for the fine no YANBU he is selfish. His mistakes, he pays. I wouldn't allow myself to be punished for his mistake and would be telling him so. It is for him to find the money for the fine that is in his own name, not yours, and that he caused through his own carelessness.

As others have said maybe he can sell something or look for a job delivering food to raise the funds. Imagine being an adult and behaving like this.

I wonder whether the fact that people have been driving a lot less is leading to more mistakes at the moment. It's easy to miss that limits have changed if you're only going out occasionally, and perhaps people are out of the habit of watching their speed and so on. I've barely driven since March - in my case it makes me nervous so I'm tending to up the concentration and drive more cautiously, but I can imagine others not realising that they're out of practice and might need to concentrate more.

He already works 6 days a week so, although I've thought of it, I've not brought up a second job with him. We are sole income family so I'm going to be effected by it whatever he does. Just pisses me off that I've been so careful with money, and gone without nice things for this to happen twice.

Yanbu to be pissed off at him!

Yeah he needs to sell something. In the longer term are you able to stop being a sole income family, ie are you able to work?

No, I'm at home with a 3 year old who isn't entitled starting nursery until after January, and I am due our 2nd baby in February.

That’s very frustrating, but it does have to be paid. Hopefully he’s learnt from it now..

Problem is we can't pay it. We are maxed in debt. I'm at the point where he needs to figure this shit out as it's stressing me out no end, and he just seems to think it'll figure itself out.

OP look at the £10 a day thread for ideas on how to earn the £200. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/4067436-november-rocking-our-way-to-christmas-earn-10-a-day

Thank you

Maybe ask him WTF do you mean we? Don't you mean where will YOU find the money for YOUR fines

They are supposed to be a deterrent for the person speeding

My advice is to sell some items to make up the money ? Facebook marketplace is great

He’s been driving 15 years without incident, and he’s working 6 days a week, the sole earner. Yes, he was stupid - but I don’t think you should be giving him a hard time. He doesn’t sound like an arsehole, and what good will it do? He’s very lucky to get a speed awareness for a second offence!

Forget about the insurance - it may not go up, and if it does, spread it over remaining months. The concern now is the £200.

Why is he asking you when it can be paid? Do you do all the family finances?

First step, call both and ask for a payment plan.

@slipperywhensparticus

Maybe ask him WTF do you mean we? Don't you mean where will YOU find the money for YOUR fines

They are supposed to be a deterrent for the person speeding

You can’t really get into a “your” money conversation with a sole earner! Though I’d agree it should come from his share of discretionary spends originating from his income. Unfortunately, OP says they are maxed in debt, so I’m guessing no discretionary spends.

@OnNaturesCourse another thing to look at... if you’re maxed on debt, have you spoken to any debt charities about repayment plans? You may find some of the £200 from immediately reducing a regular repayment on an existing debt.

Is there any way you could take a part time seasonal job ? Lots of shops are taking on short term staff so even 1 day a week ? I know you are expecting but assuming you are keeping well you should be ok for a few weeks .

It could be worse he could have killed someone.

I am aware things could be worse, and he's not a arsehole - doesn't mean I can't be pissed at him, surely?

He is at out the house 6am to 6pm, sometimes later so getting a part time job around those hours has proved difficult in the past (I looked for a job in more of a "keep my sanity" kind of way of getting out the house) but I am still looking especially over Christmas etc.

We haven't gone down the debt management route as yet mainly because he is now back at work and we are starting to chip away at the debt (for the past month) Debt management/payments I believe effect your credit rating? I could be wrong?

Yes I manage the day to day finances mostly so I know more about what we have left over/disposable than he would off the top of his head. But I've explained to him that our disposable income is pretty low at the moment, for example our little one needed some essentials this week and at £25 it cleared us out.

I think selling things is the best way forward, but what can you sell that makes that amount quickly?

We are trying hard to stay on our feet and get steady again after furlough and a tough summer.

Sods law that he chooses now to start being careless after clean driving for so long, and I don't think my pregnancy hormones are helping.

Anything thats worth anything.. some baby bits & clothes that are not needed ?

Baby on the way probably means the baby bits are going to be needed.

Difficult to know what you might have that's worth money - the answer may be that you only really have essentials. Posh dress/coat? Computer gaming stuff or hi-fi bits? Unused bicycle?

You might just have to do Christmas pared to the bone. Fortunately, at 3, your child will probably be delighted with anything, and won't know if it's secondhand either.

Good luck!

I do agree with a PP that it’s going to be hard to have a “you pay it from your money” conversation with a sole earner! It’s either all family money or it’s not!

Doesn’t mean he can’t sell something as the fine is supposed to hit the person doing the speeding though.

I don’t think you can really tell someone who is out of the house working 6-6, 6 days a week that they need to find a second job either.

As I say, I think him selling something to find this money - or at least he has to come up with a solution that hits him and not you - is the answer but in the longer term you both need to look at where more money can come from. For one thing, because you’ve got a second baby coming!

Have you looked at any side hustles like matched betting? It’s meant to work well although you have to put the time in and do it properly. If done right, there should be no risk to you. Google it as I’m not an expert.

I think if things are that tight op and your credit cards are maxed out then you should talk to StepChange about a debt management plan, especially since you have another baby I. The way.

In the longer term I think you need to find part time work, it sounds like your dh is carrying a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Working 6 days a week and out of the house for 12 hours is unsustainable. I think you are lucky it's just speeding mishaps he's having and not something more serious.

When the shot hit the fan for us we sold our car and bought a small, cheap run around, I sold a ring and about half my wardrobe in clothing bundles. DH sold an amp, his bike and a guitar. When the choice is sell stuff or starve, it takes the emotion out of it and I was just happy to see the money come in.