Eating...Eating....EATING!!!

[WuthPP]

I'm so fed up with myself, I went from obese to very slightly overweight about 3 years ago and have managed to stay that way until recently. I'm CEV so on the shielded list due to blood cancer plus other health issues, so this year so far has been a miserable nightmare of not being able to see anyone or go out and about. Even when shielding was officially paused by Boris and his mates, my consultant advised that I carry on as I'm such high risk and likely to not come through the otherside if I catch bastard covid. So going out for a walk in the wee small hours has been my only joy (and I use the word joy ironically!). In short life has been fairly rubbish.

Recently I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Nothing to do with my blood cancer, a whole new gift of a brand new to me cancer variety - please forgive me if I sound PISSED off and bitter.....I am!

Next week I have to be admitted to hospital to have my kidney removed. I am scared witless about the operation and my fear of catching covid while I'm in there is a whole new level of terror. And yes I know the hospitals are doing all they can for patient safety, and I know staff are tested and have temperatures taken, and patients are swabbed (autocorrect did change that to stabbed 😁). But it doesn't stop the fear of asymptomatic staff or patients infecting me.

So - here I am, driven to sitting on the sofa eating anything I can get my hands on, while crying my eyes out because I don't want to end up obese again (gained 4lb in the last fortnight) and terrified my operation recovery will be impacted by the rubbish I'm eating in the next few days before I am admitted to hospital.

I don't know what my unreasonable is really...but I wish someone would absolve me of it!

Argh sorry - I'm on the app...I did write my OP in paragraphs but they've disappeared!

I am sorry I can't be helpful at all but offering sympathy and a handhold. It sounds totally shit

You poor thing. It really doesn't matter what you are eating as long as you ARE eating, to keep your strength up. Best wishes for the op.

I'm so sorry OP this sounds awful.

It's not a given you'll catch covid. Try to not worry about things that you can't control. The op is necessary and has to happen, and you'll be as well looked after as possible.

There have been vulnerable people who have caught covid and it not been life-threatening. You may be fine.
I agree that over-eating isn't what you should be worrying about for now. Maybe try some healthy foods that you can binge on? Cook some vegetables in a healthy sauce and have large portions, get some crackers and healthy dips. Losing all that weight is a huge acheivement, a few lb here and there isn't the end of the world. Look after yourself.

I've just come out of hospital after having an emergency operation to remove an ovary and I can honestly say I wasn't concerned about getting Covid in there at all. They swabbed me on the way in, everyone had to wear masks on the ward and the staff were wearing visors and masks at all times.

There was hand sanitiser everywhere and every one had their temperatures taken several times a day.

You'll be fine. Good luck with your op.

Don't worry about the over eating right now. When the op is over and the stress reduced you'll be in a better place to deal with it all.

Warm thoughts and big hugs.

Oh my goodness, you have a lot on your plate. Don't worry about Covid. Don't worry about being in hospital. Get the bastard cancer sorted out and then we can help you fight. Sending lots of love, healing and healthy vibes.

Echoing what others have said - i've known someone with cancer in two places having chemo beat covid, and they have very good protocols in place in hospital. There are two covid vaccines near ready now too.

Don't worry about the food - you've had a terrible year. I do try and switch to healthier things to overeat (cut up veg, buy baked crisps/rice cakes or twiglets not crisps, dark choc etc) but as always, it's never really about the food, it's distraction from the anxiety and you've had a lot of that to deal with. Remember to love yourself - food and diet can always be sorted out.