To ask if it’s possible to change my sons paediatrician

[Bathbrush]

I’m posting here for traffic really.

My ds is 10, he is severely autistic and is non verbal. We were moved to his current paediatrician about 4 years ago. I find him extremely difficult to deal with, he seems annoyed when we go for our annual appointment and usually tells me that he shouldn’t really be treating my ds as it should be done through the school doctor. Ds school DOES NOT have a doctor or even a nurse, it is a school for autistic pupils.
My ds has extremely challenging behaviour, he sleeps for around 4 hours a night and thats with 10ml of melatonin. I have to sit on the floor of his bedroom every night until he goes to sleep, this can take 5 or 6 hours some nights, he always wakes within 2 hours and gets in my bed. He usually goes back to sleep (in my bed) for another hour or two. He can also be violent towards me and as he gets bigger he’s getting more difficult to manage. I have involved social services and am waiting to go on a “Riding the rapids” course to help me cope with his behaviour.

I’ve tried to discuss my sons sleep and violent outbursts with the paediatrician and his answer is “I’m not an expert in autism” - that it!
The social worker who originally came out to see me called the paediatrician and told him I was in crisis (I had barely slept for a week and my ds behaviour was out of control). When I spoke to the SW afterwards she said the paediatrician was extremely dIfficult to talk to and that she had complaints from other families who had him.
I want to change doctors, I’ve tried looking online to see if this is possible but can’t seem to find an answer for the uk. Does anyone know if this is possible, and if so, how do I go about it?

His previous paediatrician was absolutely amazing but she only dealt with pre school so we had to move.

Thanks for reading and apologies it’s so long.

I'm not sure i understand- why does he need a paediatrician, is it specifically to handle his autism? If so then i would speak to the school to see if they can recommend someone, or ask your GP for a referral, but if he's already at a specialist school then surely they should be supervising his care?

If it's just for general healthcare, then he should be being seen by your GP.

He has a paediatrician because of his autism, he’s always had one, the paediatrician prescribes his melatonin, all of his school mates have paediatricians too. None have the same one as us though.
I have tried asking the school for help but they say speak to the paediatrician who in turn tells me to talk to the school or SS. I have involved SS and they say it should be the doctor as his behaviour is so destructive. His school teacher was shocked that when I asked for help (which everyone tells you to do), there is none available and you just end up being passed back and forth between SS and paediatrician.

It’s beyond awful to watch your child hurt themselves and not be able to help, he’s so frustrated and gets anxious so easily. He’s such a loving little boy but he can’t control these impulses to hurt himself or stop himself from lashing out when he’s frustrated.

If this is a private service, why don't you ask the current paediatrician to refer you to someone who does specialise in autism? Or ask his friends' parents if they'd recommend theirs? Or go back to whoever made the original referral and say it isn't working and you need someone else?

I also suggest throwing your weight around a bit - SS, the school and the doctor will all want to shift responsibility onto someone else, so you need to be comfortable in really putting your foot down and making a scene until your son gets what he needs. Channel your inner warrior, as twee as that sounds.

Children with autism are under a Paediatrician, my son sees his twice a year and he also visits the special school my son goes to.

Hope you can change the Paediatrician OP, he sounds dreadful.

Sorry the paediatrician is not being helpful. I know in my area the mental health service has a Learning Disability team, who would be the ones to ask for help in your situation. The paediatrician's here have a very limited remit. But obviously these things vary by area. I'd dig around for the Designated Clinical Officer contact details at the CCG. They are supposed to join up health and education, not sure if it's the exact right person for your situation but worth a try? Otherwise complain via PALS? This is all assuming you're in England.

Would he be better off with CAMH so he could see a child psychiatrist? I would have thought that behaviour and sleep issues might be more their remit? If so you can ask your GP for a referral.

I might not be right as services are organised differently in different places but anything is better than this guy who is so uninterested and I am worried you'll find there is no-one else you can be referred to as I think community paediatrics is very shortage.

Your GP might be a good person to ask for ideas and alternative referral. Hope you can get matched with someone with the right skillset for your son's needs.

Thanks, he really is awful. Unfortunately this is NHS so I’m not sure how to go about changing. It doesn’t help that my sons school is in a different local authority to where we live. I’ve had to change his GP and dentist to the borough his school is in just to get SS involved.
Hopefully once everything gets back to normal, I can talk to the SW and ask for her help in getting a new paediatrician.

Thank you all for your helpful comments. A referral to CAMHS may be the way to go, I’ll definitely speak to his GP too.