To tell my teen DD to get off the phone?

[Gotheeunicorns]

Dd is 13 (yr8). She spends all day in her bedroom on the phone to her friends. It's not like she's just talking but they kind of just get of with their day whilst on the phone. They have done homework together and revision and she's done quite a bit of art. However, unless you call her for food or some kind of pre-arranged activity she doesn't move from her desk. I would estimate that today she will have spent about 7 hours up there. I don't think that's healthy and have said once 8 30 comes she needs to put the phone away so she can have some away time from it. Obviously she thinks I am entirely unreasonable. Am I?

I'd be impressed she got all her work done. Iv just had to drag mine to his desk to do anything as he was sat playing on his phone

But we do have a no electronics after 8pm

As she can't see her mates in person, I think it's ok.

Waveysnail that's what is really difficult (my ds is polar opposite) . She works really hard and her friends do too. They all do very well in school and I'm glad they are all so motivated but... I still think she should move a bit more, make time to read a book or do something which doesn't require the constant interaction of her friends.

My DD is exactly the same OP! Same age and same issue. I think no phone after 8.30 is reasonable. Screen time just before bed isn't good for sleep.

Isn’t this what teenagers do? At that age I was playing Snake for 7 hours a day. Be impressed she’s doing her work at the same time

Personally what I think is unreasonable is that you let her sit at her desk and be on her phone all day and only insisted she cam off at 8.30. Yes DD15 spends a lot of time on her phone or laptop or ipad but if she was on it for more than say 1.5 hours without a break I would suggest she came off and she would (or at least she would within a few minutes of me suggesting it). She and DS12 also need to get out for some fresh air and exercise each day - would love it if they'd do this on their own or with a friend but as they won't then we all go out for a walk or bike ride.

Possibly an unpopular opinion, but I think it's rather lovely that she and her friends are getting on with their work and art together-but-separately. If it weren’t for lockdown, perhaps they’d all be in the same room doing stuff together, but this is the best they can manage for now. It’s the sort of thing I’d have done if the tech had been around when I was a teen!

I don't see a problem. She's done her homework and socialised with her friends at the same time.

So she is doing everything she is supposed to and keeping up with her friends at a time where she really needs to and you want to punish her

FWIW it's not that I have a problem with her doing it, it's just the volume of time. She has been outside today for about an hour and a half. She played Uno with us all (reluctantly) and ate meals with us but the rest of time she's been sat in her room.

I'm afraid I'm strongly of the opposite opinion to most previous posters and think that on a day like today she should have been getting exercise on a walk outside with you. I dont know where you live and whether outdoor exercise is possible but being inside all day on a screen (phone tv or gaming, take your pick) is really unhealthy for so many reasons. Its obvious.

Your latest post arrived when I posted mine. I personally would be very careful allowing her phone in her room for so long with no parental oversight.